Social Clubs

Fascinating Kids

Social clubs often have bizarre rules. For example, Fascinating Kids requires that your application essay be written by one of the other applicants. Also, please be sure to include your full name (if possible) with your writing sample.

I am a serious troublemaker, but you should let me join the club anyway. I'm sure you need a skateboarder. Don't worry about my brainy little sister; she won't want to join. My dad won't care either, since he spends most of his time at the bar. Hopefully, you can overlook my terrible grades in school.

I want to join your club! I'm the biggest and strongest in the class; after all, I did repeat a grade. I used to be a bully, but I'm not as much anymore. I enjoy karate and ballet, and I'm an excellent clarinet player. I wasn't happy when my parents adopted my little sister recently, but now I adore her.

As an intrepid space explorer, noted superhero, and inventor, I expect you will consider my application seriously. I was commenting to my philosophical companion the other day, that I would be an asset to your society. No doubt you are acquainted with my snow art? Or perhaps the sport named in my honor? I can assure you that the pasta event is all vicious rumor. My parents and babysitter may not always appreciate my genius, but I trust you will show better judgement.

The relationships I maintain with people in my life are important to me, as they will be with members of your organization, should you offer me admission. I always seek to accommodate the wishes of my friends, joining them on unusual vacations and providing them with access to quality Italian automobiles. I find that any inconvenience this causes is always more than balanced out by the pleasure I receive from spending time with the people I most care about. I believe that parents deserve respect from their children. I go to great pains to uphold this belief in my relationship with my father.

Why should you let me in? Because other kids are stupid, and I'm awesome. They tried to take my bus seat. They called me fat. So I took their Twinkies. Those stupid kids. And their stupid trick. I found a love note once. I really thought he liked me. He was a whole grade above me. But he didn't show up. It was those two jerks from school. I should beat them up. The same way that dad beats me. I'm cool, though, because I smoke. So you should really let me in.

I'm already part of a club, with my three best friends, but I'd like to be a member of yours too. I'll tell you about me and my fellow pre teen sensations. We all do our exercises every night, including chant. We keep our Boy Books and promise to tell each other when we get It. One of my friends is half Catholic and half Jewish. I took her to church with me. I normally only go when I have to, but she wanted to see what it was like. I'm a little worried about going on to the middle school next year. I'm already the shortest girl in my class. With my friends around though, I think I won't get very lost.

I want to be a member. I am new at this school this year. The only desk was next to the oldest kid in my grade. I tried to be nice to him, but it was very hard. Then a counselor helped to make him happier. Sorry about being in the wrong bathroom. I didn't mean to. Please don't tell the girl with the red hair and freckled face, she's nice!

I want to join your club. See, when I woke up this morning, I had changed! I was covered in hair. I ran to school on all four of my legs. I bit the girl in front of me. But my teacher didn't believe I had changed. My best friend didn't either! I ate a pencil too, which I don't most days. When I went home, I howled at the moon. My mom didn't notice. My dad didn't notice. Why can't they see what I've become? Will you recognize me?

Oh my GOD, it would be so freaking awesome to be a member. It was magnificent seeing your ad in the PennySaver. It looked way classy next to the ads for, like, novelty phones and stuff. Although I'm a cheerleader, I'm also a very bright student, and I've always preferred the company of my teachers, if you know what I mean. Keith would tell you that I'm totally qualified to join, and he's a very responsible teacher. I told my BFF to apply, but she was way too preggers to do anything but lie around drinking her weight in juice. But I'm really excited!

I believe you should let me join your organization because I already know how initiations function. You see, once summer started this past year, I got hazed along with everyone else my age. The older girls covered us in ketchup and mustard, and dribbled raw eggs on top. That was pretty disgusting, but they also humiliated us by making us be their bitches and even making me propose to one of the older guys! That turned out pretty okay later though, since he was pretty cute and gave me a ride home, even if he is one of the school nerds. He thinks these initiation rituals are incredibly stupid, but everyone goes through it: first you get humiliated, and then a few years later you humiliate. It's not all embarrassment either as later in the day we all got together for a kegger at the moontower.

Okay, so you should certainly let me join your club, primarily because I am arguably the most popular girl in my school. When I first moved to Beverly Hills, I was poorly versed in fashion: I was a tragically unhip pariah. Fortunately, a socialite classmate decided to befriend me, and with her tutelage and makeover, I became considerably more popular. She was so successful that, especially in the wake of an almost deadly shopping accident, I eclipsed even her popularity. Needless to say, this was injurious to our friendship, especially when we both turned our attentions on the same guys. However, that's all immaterial now, as eventually we did manage to resolve our differences.