by Alex Rosenthal and Matt Gruskin
Answer: OBLIVIATE
Problem: Valentine’s Day Town/​Arbor Day Town

Synopsis

This puzzle takes the form of an Infocom-style interactive fiction text adventure game.

Solvers will very quickly find themselves exploring a familiar school of witchcraft and wizardry as a familiar witch. A dark wizard has taken over the castle, and has hexed various professors to engage whomever they see in a wizard’s duel. The castle has been accordingly evacuated, and it’s up to the solver to set things right.

The puzzle (whose main influences were Monkey Island insult swordfighting, Metroidvanias—in particular, Hollow Knight—and, of course, Harry Potter) follows a gameplay loop of explore; gain spells; fight a boss; unlock a new area; and repeat. It’s divided into three sections (Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff, and Slytherin), and a final boss battle in Gryffindor.

In her initial exploration, Hermione will find herself in a state of knowing almost nothing. After gaining the REVEALING spell, she’ll explore the castle and soon meet Hagrid, who will teach her ABSORBING, to absorb things she finds so that she can then transform into them. She’ll then sally off into the Ravenclaw maze, which she’ll discover to be a 3D, 4×4×4 cube. Within it she’ll find pairs of talons made of different materials that point in very specific directions. When she draws the lines out from the talons, she’ll find that the lines from a matching pair intersect in one room (as non-parallel lines are wont to do). Casting REVEALING in that room will cause an object to appear, which Hermione can then cast ABSORBING on and subsequently cast as transformation spells.

Once she has all 4 transformation spells, she can confront Professor Trelawney, the first mini-boss. After defeating her, Hermione will learn the EVENING spell and learn how to use the pensieves scattered throughout the castle to restore her progress, or have allies catch up to the same spot.

Casting the EVENING spell on the closed doors on the first floor will turn the clock forward and allow Hermione entry to the great hall and kitchens beneath, near which she’ll gain access to Hufflepuff. There she’ll find another, much larger, maze. Mapping it will reveal a nonogram which, if she looks down from above and squints, depicts the face of a badger, which is the animal mascot of Hufflepuff. A portrait of Helga Hufflepuff (identifiable by her cup, which was one of Voldemort’s horcruxes) tells Hermione to look in the rooms corresponding to the badger’s eyes, left nostril, and point of its right ear (the nostril and ear require reflection, since it’s the badger’s right and left, not Hermione’s). In those rooms she’ll discover the next four transformation spells she’ll need.

After successfully dueling Professor Sprout, Hermione will learn the UNTANGLING spell, which she can use on the vines that are blocking entry to the dungeon. There she’ll access Slytherin and the third maze. Hermione will recognize this one, once she’s mapped it out (and as clued by Filch’s obsession with a giant snake in the walls), as a Slytherin Slitherlink. A song recited by the caretaker will inform her to look at the rooms where the wall layout perfectly matches the positions of the snake around that room, as indicated by the Slitherlink. In other words, the rooms where every wall corresponds to a snake segment, and every opening corresponds to a lack of a snake segment. There she’ll find the four transformation spells she’ll need to battle and defeat Professor Slughorn.

Slughorn will teach Hermione the MUGGLIFYING spell, which she can then cast on the Time Turner on the first floor to render it a harmless hourglass. This will give her access to Gryffindor Tower, the final area of the castle.

There she’ll find her no-longer-hexed professor friends cheering her on and helping her prepare for a final duel against Professor McGonagall, the Big Bad. The professors will assure her that she has everything she needs to emerge victorious, and yet none of Hermione’s spells will prove effective against McGonagall’s transformations. Hermione will then gain the key insight that she must transform her own transformations using the spells that allowed her to navigate the castle. REVEALING fittingly reveals contained words (BICEPS -> ICE). EVENING takes the even letters of spells (CALLIOPE -> ALOE). UNTANGLING anagrams words (HORNET -> THRONE). And MUGGLIFYING drains the magic out of things and leaves their Muggle counterparts behind (UNICORN -> HORSE). The full list can be found below.

During their duel Hermione will notice her opponent tapping some number of times before casting each spell. Her taps will be indices into the spells that Hermione must cast in response. So two taps before Hermione casts ICE yields a C. She reveals the phrase CAST MIND WIPE, which is Professor McGonagall’s sneaky way of wiping Hermione’s memory without Hermione noticing (incidentally, it’s also how McGonagall got the drop on the other professors before the events of this puzzle began). However, Hermione will see through this clever ruse, and attempt to cast MIND WIPE herself. Unfortunately, MIND WIPE isn’t a real spell in the Harry Potter universe, and Hermione will probably lose the first time, and be sent back to the very start, with nothing to show for her efforts but a fresh tally mark on the note she hastily wrote herself several cycles ago. And also a spell that will allow her to skip straight back to the final battle through time travel, because we’re not so cruel as to make her play through the entire thing again.

This time, prompted by a helpful pointer, she’ll cast OBLIVIATE, and learn that Professor McGonagall has, this whole time, actually been a dark wizard named Mystereo Cantos, who, after being defeated in the 2017 Mystery Hunt, has been in search of a new stomping ground. With the help of the real Professor McGonagall, Hermione will subdue this interloper and restore order at Hogwarts, before shaking off whatever brain damage so many OBLIVIATE spells in so short of a time does to a witch, and heading back to her post as Minister of Magic.

Map

Mazes

This puzzle contains three “mazes”, where solvers learn spells that transform the player into other things, and then duel opponents using these spells. A solver learns a maze’s spells by determining which rooms within the maze contain something hidden (via a mechanism unique to each maze), revealing these rooms, and then absorbing the revealed objects. To win a duel, the solver must thematically pair their transformation spells with what their opponent is transforming into during each step of the duel.

The Ravenclaw Maze

This is a 3-dimensional maze that takes place within a 4×4×4 cube of rooms. The entrance to the cube is along the west edge of the fourth floor. The Ravenclaw duel takes place in a room off of the north edge of the first floor.

  • “>” indicates the bottom of a staircase.
  • “<” indicates the top of a staircase.
  • “A” indicates the location of the hornet. “A1” and “A2” indicate the locations of iron talons that point in the direction of the hornet’s location.
  • “B” indicates the location of the jalapeño pepper. “B1” and “B2” indicate the locations of bronze talons that point in the direction of the jalapeño pepper’s location.
  • “C” indicates the location of the Trapper Keeper depicting a majestic unicorn. “C1” and “C2” indicate the locations of silver talons that point in the direction of the Trapper Keeper’s location.
  • “D” indicates the location of the spring. “D1” and “D2” indicate the locations of obsidian talons that point in the direction of the spring’s location.

The Hufflepuff Maze

This maze takes place within a 13 (tall) × 12 (wide) grid of rooms (plus several rooms along the north and west edges that extend outside of the boundaries of this main grid). The player enters the maze on the south edge of the southeast corner, and the Hufflepuff duel takes place in a room off the east edge of the maze.

The rooms that extend past the north and west edges of the main grid contain colored numbers (orange or black) that serve as clues for a color Nonogram logic puzzle. The solved Nonogram puzzle reveals an image of a badger. Examining the painting in the Hufflepuff common room highlights the eyes, right ear, and left nostril of the subject of the painting, indicating the rooms within the maze that should be revealed.

The Slytherin Maze

This maze takes place within a 6×6 grid of rooms. The player enters the maze on the west edge of the northwest corner, and the Slytherin duel takes place in a room off the south edge of the maze.

Several rooms of the maze have a tile inlay on the floor that contains a number from one to three. These numbers form a Slitherlink logic puzzle. To determine the locations of the hidden objects, the solver must solve the logic puzzle, and then identify the four rooms that have the exact same configuration of walls as are formed by the Slitherlink loop.

The Final Duel

The spells learned from the mazes each need to be transformed before being used in the final duel. The final opponent (the Scottish Witch) taps her wand a certain number of times before casting each of her transformation spells, indicating an indexing number into the name of the player’s spell. The extracted letters spell a clue phrase, CAST MIND WIPE. The Harry Potter spell to perform a mind wipe is OBLIVIATE. Casting OBLIVIATE on the Scottish Witch defeats her (ending the game) and is also the answer to this puzzle.

House Spell Transforming Spell Transformed Spell Wand Taps Letter

Hufflepuff

BICEPS

REVEALING

ICE

2

C

Hufflepuff

CALLIOPE

EVENING

ALOE

1

A

Ravenclaw

UNICORN

MUGGLIFYING

HORSE

4

S

Slytherin

ATTORNEY

EVENING

TONY

1

T

Slytherin

PARSELMOUTH

REVEALING

ELMO

3

M

Hufflepuff

DELUMINATOR

MUGGLIFYING

LIGHTER

2

I

Ravenclaw

HORNET

UNTANGLING

THRONE

5

N

Slytherin

DEBRIS

UNTANGLING

BRIDES

4

D

Hufflepuff

WARTHOGS

UNTANGLING

HOGWARTS

4

W

Slytherin

ERISED

MUGGLIFYING

MIRROR

2

I

Ravenclaw

SPRING

EVENING

PIG

1

P

Ravenclaw

JALAPEÑO

REVEALING

APE

3

E

Example Playthrough

You're standing in a large, stone-walled chamber. There is no visible exit.
There's a LETTER lying on the floor.

> read letter
It says:
H-
No time to explain. Check your SPELLS and then CAST REVEALING.
-H
And there are four tally marks at the bottom of the page, in a jagged handwriting that is not your own.

> check spells
You are the master of the following spells:
revealing: The revealing spell helps you to discover what is hidden.

> cast revealing
By muscle memory you take a stick out of your pocket, point it ahead of you, and in a commanding voice say "REVEAL".
There's a shimmering in the air, and a spiral staircase appears where there was empty space. You can now exit UP.

> u
You go up.
You're at the intersection of two wide passages. Vaulted hallways run east and west as far as your eye can see. The north-south hallway is shorter; off to the north you can see a large staircase. A rectangular hole in the ground leads into the basement. There are exits to the NORTH, EAST, SOUTH, WEST, and DOWN.

> w
You go west.
You're in a long, vaulted passageway. The south wall features floor-to-ceiling stained glass windows that ripple with color. The north wall houses evenly spaced doors, all locked. There are exits to the EAST and WEST.

> w
You go west.
You're in a long passageway. Vaulted arches support a ceiling decorated with frescoes that depict various acts of studious valor. Glass cases on the north wall proudly display scores of trophies. The south wall houses evenly spaced doors, all locked. There are exits to the EAST and WEST.

> w
You go west.
You're at the base of a walled-in stone staircase that spirals around a black marble column streaked with gold. Lit torches mounted on the outer wall alternate between blue and bronze flames, illuminating the steps. You may go UP the staircase, or enter a hallway to the EAST.

> u
You go up.
You're at the second landing of a walled-in stone staircase that spirals around a black marble column streaked with gold. Lit torches mounted on the outer wall alternate between blue and bronze flames, illuminating the steps. You may go UP or DOWN the staircase.

> u
You go up.
You're at the third landing of a walled-in stone staircase that spirals around a black marble column streaked with gold. Lit torches mounted on the outer wall alternate between blue and bronze flames, illuminating the steps. You may go UP or DOWN the staircase.

> u
You go up.
You're at the fourth landing of a walled-in stone staircase that spirals around a black marble column streaked with gold. Lit torches mounted on the outer wall alternate between blue and bronze flames, illuminating the steps. You may go UP or DOWN the staircase.

> u
You go up.
You're at the top of a walled-in stone staircase that spirals around a black marble column streaked with gold. Lit torches mounted on the outer wall alternate between blue and bronze flames, illuminating the steps. You may go DOWN the staircase, or enter a hallway to the EAST.

> e
You go east.
You're in a bright passageway. The walls are lined with colorful tapestries, which sway in the breeze coming through the open windows on the north side of the hall. There are exits to the EAST, SOUTH, and WEST.

> e
As you enter the room, a sobbing, bearded GIANT lifts you up and squeezes you with his mighty arms. You think this might be the end; it feels like your bones are about to crack when he puts you down and pats your head.
He blubbers, "I was so worried I wouldn't see yeh again. There are a few things yeh need to know afore yeh go on. First o' all, the head professors've all gone mad. They've shut 'emselves inside mazes an' attack anyone who enters. I've tried ter stop 'em, yeh know I have, but every time I try ter leave this room I find meself back here.
Don't fight 'em until you're ready. Each one is gonna cast four hexes that yeh'll need ter counter. In yer sorry state there's on'y one way ter acquire the countercurses: invisible objec's within each maze. Yeh'll need ter CAST REVEALING in the right room, an' then CAST ABSORBING on the objec' that appears. Those'll be yer countercurses, yeh can CAST 'em when the time is right.
Make sure not ter CAST REVEALING in the wrong room. The mazes 'ave a powerful charm that'll cause the spell to backfire if yeh try it in the wrong place.
Good luck in there, I know yeh can do it. An' don' worry, yeh can come back and TALK TER me an' I'll tell yeh all this again, no matter how many times yeh come back. I'm very :sob: patient!"
You can now cast the ABSORBING spell.
You're in a living space enclosed by blue stone walls. There are lots of cozy chairs and reading nooks, as well as scattered tables covered in interrupted board games half-played. The room is infused with the smell of a freshly opened library book. Bronze lighting fixtures punctuate the space and cast muted light that gives the whole space an almost underwater feel. There's a fireplace off in the corner, but it looks like it hasn't been used in a while. There are exits to the EAST and WEST.
A sobbing GIANT is standing over the fireplace, shuffling his feet.

> e
You go east.
You're in a maze with wooden walls. You can go EAST, SOUTH and WEST.

> s
You go south.
You're in a maze with wooden walls. There's a staircase here. You can go NORTH, SOUTH and DOWN.

> d
You go down.
You're in a maze with wooden walls. There's a staircase here. You can go NORTH, SOUTH and UP.

> n
You go north.
You're in a maze with wooden walls. You can go NORTH and SOUTH.

> n
You go north.
You're in a maze with wooden walls. You can go EAST and SOUTH.
There's an obsidian talon embedded in the wall. It's pointing directly downwards.

> e
You go east.
You're in a maze with wooden walls. There's a staircase here. You can go WEST and DOWN.

> d
You go down.
You're in a maze with wooden walls. There's a staircase here. You can go WEST and UP.

> w
You go west.
You're in a maze with wooden walls. You can go EAST and SOUTH.

> s
You go south.
You're in a maze with wooden walls. You can go NORTH and SOUTH.
There's a silver talon embedded in the floor. It's pointing to the east.

> s
You go south.
You're in a maze with wooden walls. There's a staircase here. You can go NORTH, EAST, SOUTH and DOWN.

> e
You go east.
You're in a maze with wooden walls. There's a staircase here. You can go EAST, WEST and UP.

> e
You go east.
You're in a maze with wooden walls. You can go NORTH, SOUTH and WEST.

> n
You go north.
You're in a maze with wooden walls. You can go EAST and SOUTH.

> cast revealing
There's a flash of white light, and when your vision clears you see a Trapper Keeper depicting a majestic UNICORN.

> cast absorbing at unicorn
You point your stick at the image of the UNICORN and say "ABSORB". It fades from sight until the Trapper Keeper depicts just a starry background and a surprised moon. Then a beam of light shoots from where the unicorn had been into your forehead. You experience the odd sensation of knowing something you didn't know a moment ago. You can now cast UNICORN.

> s
You go south.
You're in a maze with wooden walls. You can go NORTH, SOUTH and WEST.

> w
You go west.
You're in a maze with wooden walls. There's a staircase here. You can go EAST, WEST and UP.

> up
You go up.
You're in a maze with wooden walls. There's a staircase here. You can go SOUTH and DOWN.

> s
You go south.
You're in a maze with wooden walls. You can go NORTH and EAST.

> cast absorbing
You try to cast the absorbing spell, but without anything specific to absorb, nothing happens.

> cast revealing
There's a flash of white light, and when your vision clears you see a JALAPEÑO pepper growing in the corner of the room.

> cast absorbing at jalapeno
You point your stick at the JALAPEÑO pepper and say "ABSORB". It shrinks and shrinks until it disappears from view entirely. Then a beam of light shoots from where it had been into your forehead. You experience the odd sensation of knowing something you didn't know a moment ago. You can now cast JALAPEÑO.

> e
You go east.
You're in a maze with wooden walls. You can go EAST and WEST.

> e
You go east.
You're in a maze with wooden walls. There's a staircase here. You can go NORTH, WEST and UP.

> u
You go up.
You're in a maze with wooden walls. There's a staircase here. You can go NORTH, WEST and DOWN.

> n
You go north.
You're in a maze with wooden walls. You can go SOUTH.

> cast revealing
There's a flash of white light, and when your vision clears you see… nothing out of the ordinary. But a high-pitched drone tells you there's something in here with you. And after a moment or two, you catch a tiny yellow blur zipping by out of the corner of your eye. It's a HORNET.

> cast absorbing at hornet
It takes a few tries to train the point of your stick on the constantly moving insect, but you finally get it turning slow circles that track the HORNET's movement perfectly. You say "ABSORB". It shrinks until it disappears from view entirely (which doesn't take very long). Then a beam of light shoots from where it had been into your forehead. You experience the odd sensation of knowing something you didn't know a moment ago. You can now cast HORNET.

> s
You go south.
You're in a maze with wooden walls. There's a staircase here. You can go NORTH, WEST and DOWN.

> d
You go down.
You're in a maze with wooden walls. There's a staircase here. You can go NORTH, WEST and UP.

> w
You go west.
You're in a maze with wooden walls. You can go EAST and WEST.

> w
You go west.
You're in a maze with wooden walls. You can go NORTH and EAST.

> n
You go north.
You're in a maze with wooden walls. There's a staircase here. You can go SOUTH and DOWN.

> d
You go down.
You're in a maze with wooden walls. There's a staircase here. You can go EAST, WEST and UP.

> w
You go west.
You're in a maze with wooden walls. There's a staircase here. You can go NORTH, EAST, SOUTH and DOWN.

> d
You go down.
You're in a maze with wooden walls. There's a staircase here. You can go NORTH, EAST and UP.

> n
You go north.
You're in a maze with wooden walls. You can go NORTH and SOUTH.

> n
You go north.
You're in a maze with wooden walls. You can go EAST and SOUTH.

> cast revealing
There's a flash of white light, and when your vision clears you see nothing outside the ordinary. You walk around looking for the revealed object, and after a few steps you're surprised to find a bit of bounce in your step. You check your shoe and find a small coiled metal SPRING stuck to it. You must have accidentally stepped on it.

> cast absorbing at spring
You point your stick at the SPRING and say "ABSORB". It shrinks until it disappears from view entirely. Then a beam of light shoots from where it had been into your forehead. You experience the odd sensation of knowing something you didn't know a moment ago. You can now cast SPRING.

> e
You go east.
You're in a maze with wooden walls. You can go NORTH, EAST and WEST.

> n
You go north.
You're on a large, semi-enclosed balcony high above the ground. A row of blue tripod-mounted telescopes points at the sky, each accompanied by a matching cushioned stool. Looking over the stone railing, you can see a lake and vast woods stretching into the distant hills. You notice a FIREPLACE embedded in the wall near the archway (to the SOUTH) that leads back into the maze.
There's a woman here. By her round glasses and dreamy expression you can tell she's a SEER. There's a red shimmer in the air around her, and she looks mighty angry.

> duel seer
She says, "Prepare to meet your bitter end!".
The SEER turns into Takeru Kobayashi. He eyes you hungrily.

> cast jalapeno
You turn into a giant jalapeño, just as Kobayashi reaches you and dunks you into a kiddie pool of water he's somehow obtained. He tosses you into his mouth, but immediately spits you back out. "Too spicy," he announces, then turns his attention to a jar of every flavored jelly beans on the table. He shakes it over his head, swallowing the beans whole. It suddenly dawns on him that they're all snot flavored. He dashes to the corner to vomit.
The SEER turns herself into a blizzard. You start to shiver as the room fills up with snow.

> cast spring
You turn yourself into Spring. Birds chirping, flowers growing, and snow melting. The hum of new life fills the tower.
The SEER turns herself into a menacing swarm of bees.

> cast hornet
You turn yourself into a single hornet. The bees are no match for your size and combat prowess. You sprinkle bee carcasses around the room, and are shocked by your capacity for violence. First colony collapse disorder, and now this? Poor bees. You win this round, despite being a bee-killing monster.
The SEER transforms herself into a snarling lion, ready to pounce.

> cast unicorn
You turn into a majestic unicorn and gallop forward, prepared to gore the lion with your horn. But at the last minute you rear up, realizing she's got a thorn in her paw. You cry a little, because everyone deserves a good cry now and again, and your tears heal her.
The SEER crumples to the ground, defeated. When she picks herself back up the red shimmer is gone, and she seems much kinder and gentler.
"Thank you, thank you; you've broken the hex she put on me. I don't know how she did it, but all I could do was stand in this room and duel anyone who happened by. I think she got a few of the others too. I'm a little hazy on what happened, but I know they were able to evacuate almost everyone from the castle after the wards detected the presence of dark magic.
I know you don't like me very much, but I had a premonition a certain spell will help you overcome your obstacles. It can manipulate time in a localized environment. Here, I'll teach you."
You can now cast the EVENING spell.
She starts to shake violently. At first you think the hex is coming back, but then you realize it's just a prophecy. She speaks out in a booming voice:
"YOU WILL FIND MAGIC BASINS THROUGHOUT THE CASTLE. IF YOU LOSE PROGRESS, YOU CAN RESTORE IT BY EXAMINING A BASIN, THEN SPEAKING THE NAME OF THE SPELL YOU MOST RECENTLY LEARNED."
Her body stills and she blinks at you. "What just happened? Did I do a prophecy?! Was it a good one?"
"Anyhow, you'd better hurry off and save the others. I'll be here if you need me. You can take a shortcut back to the common room if you ENTER THE FIREPLACE."

> enter the fireplace
The world blurs for a moment, then you tumble out through another fireplace.
You're in a living space enclosed by blue stone walls. There are lots of cozy chairs and reading nooks, as well as scattered tables covered in interrupted board games half-played. The room is infused with the smell of a freshly opened library book. Bronze lighting fixtures punctuate the space and cast muted light that gives the whole space an almost underwater feel. There's a fireplace off in the corner, but it looks like it hasn't been used in a while. There are exits to the EAST and WEST.
A sobbing GIANT is standing over the fireplace, shuffling his feet.

> w
You go west.
You're in a bright passageway. The walls are lined with colorful tapestries, which sway in the breeze coming through the open windows on the north side of the hall. There are exits to the EAST, SOUTH, and WEST.

> w
You go west.
You're at the top of a walled-in stone staircase that spirals around a black marble column streaked with gold. Lit torches mounted on the outer wall alternate between blue and bronze flames, illuminating the steps. You may go DOWN the staircase, or enter a hallway to the EAST.

> d
You go down.
You're at the fourth landing of a walled-in stone staircase that spirals around a black marble column streaked with gold. Lit torches mounted on the outer wall alternate between blue and bronze flames, illuminating the steps. You may go UP or DOWN the staircase.

> d
You go down.
You're at the third landing of a walled-in stone staircase that spirals around a black marble column streaked with gold. Lit torches mounted on the outer wall alternate between blue and bronze flames, illuminating the steps. You may go UP or DOWN the staircase.

> d
You go down.
You're at the second landing of a walled-in stone staircase that spirals around a black marble column streaked with gold. Lit torches mounted on the outer wall alternate between blue and bronze flames, illuminating the steps. You may go UP or DOWN the staircase.

> d
You go down.
You're at the base of a walled-in stone staircase that spirals around a black marble column streaked with gold. Lit torches mounted on the outer wall alternate between blue and bronze flames, illuminating the steps. You may go UP the staircase, or enter a hallway to the EAST.

> e
You go east.
You're in a long passageway. Vaulted arches support a ceiling decorated with frescoes that depict various acts of studious valor. Glass cases on the north wall proudly display scores of trophies. The south wall houses evenly spaced doors, all locked. There are exits to the EAST and WEST.

> e
You go east.
You're in a long, vaulted passageway. The south wall features floor-to-ceiling stained glass windows that ripple with color. The north wall houses evenly spaced doors, all locked. There are exits to the EAST and WEST.

> e
You go east.
You're at the intersection of two wide passages. Vaulted hallways run east and west as far as your eye can see. The north-south hallway is shorter; off to the north you can see a large staircase. A rectangular hole in the ground leads into the basement. There are exits to the NORTH, EAST, SOUTH, WEST, and DOWN.

> e
You go east.
You're in a high-vaulted hallway. The north wall is covered in enormous paintings of dynamic landscapes; roiling waves, rolling hills, gathering thunderclouds, and remote peaks. To the south there's a DOOR large enough that a parade could pass through with room to spare. A gilded grandfather clock stands guard on one side of it. There are exits to the NORTH, SOUTH, and WEST.

> cast evening at door
You cast EVENING on the DOOR. A 5 meter bubble forms, centered on the door. The pulsing air within flashes through all of the reds, oranges, yellows, and blues of a sunset. The hands of the grandfather clock adjacent to the door whirl about every which way before finally settling on 6:30.
The door creaks open.

> s
You go south.
You're in a cavernous space you'd mistake for a cathedral if not for the four long tables that run the length of the room. Looking up you see the twinkling lights of the night sky, and you make a point of picking out Cassiopeia, Orion, and the Dog Star. "I really hope they use this as a planetarium sometimes," you think to yourself. It's unsettling seeing a space this large feel so empty and quiet.
There are exits to the NORTH and EAST.

> e
You go east.
You're at the top of a simple wooden staircase. It connects to a vestibule to the side of the dining hall. There are exits WEST and DOWN.

> d
You go down.
You're in a small room at the bottom of an unassuming wooden staircase. There's a wonderful aroma drifting in from somewhere nearby. There are exits WEST and UP.

> w
You go west.
The room you're in looks familiar. It's the same dimensions as the dining hall immediately above it, and there are tables in matching positions as well. Only here there's a menagerie of enchanted cookware that seems unaware that the castle has been evacuated. It's slicing, stirring, frying, boiling, rolling, beating, and baking a feast for nobody.
There's an exit into a hall to the NORTH, and an exit to a stairwell to the EAST.

> n
You go north.
You're in a hall lined with crates, vats, tubs, cabinets, and jars full of every ingredient you could imagine, and then some.
Against the north wall there's a pile of large barrels. The barrel two from the bottom in the middle of the second row has a hinged lid and seems to be some kind of door.
The kitchens are to the SOUTH.

> n
(first opening the barrel)
You crawl through the barrel.
You go north.
You're in a bright, round room with lots of well-loved plants hanging from the ceiling and in pots all over the place. Tables and chairs huddle in welcoming configurations. The wooden walls and floor are a muted mustardseed color. There are exits to the NORTH and SOUTH.
There's a PAINTING on the wall over the fireplace. The woman pictured in it is beckoning you over.

> examine painting
The painting depicts a confident woman draped in an orange and black cloak. She's holding a golden goblet. Once she sees she has your attention, she points at her face. You notice little stars gleaming in both her eyes, her right ear, and her left nostril.

> n
You go north.
You're in a hedge maze. There's a topiary of a lazy murtlap clipped into the hedges. You can go SOUTH and WEST.

> w
You go west.
You're in a hedge maze. There's a topiary of a kooky murtlap clipped into the hedges. You can go EAST and WEST.

> w
You go west.
You're in a hedge maze. There's a topiary of a judgy murtlap clipped into the hedges. You can go EAST and WEST.

> w
You go west.
You're in a hedge maze. There's a topiary of an icky murtlap clipped into the hedges. You can go NORTH, EAST and WEST.

> w
You go west.
You're in a hedge maze. There's a topiary of a hungry murtlap clipped into the hedges. You can go NORTH, EAST and WEST.

> w
You go west.
You're in a hedge maze. There's a topiary of a ghastly murtlap clipped into the hedges. You can go EAST and WEST.

> cast revealing
There's a flash of white light, and when your vision clears you see a poster depicting flexing BICEPS tacked onto the hedge.

> cast absorbing at biceps
You point your stick at the BICEPS and say "ABSORB". It fades off the poster, leaving only the text and a few remnants from the lower arm. Then a beam of light shoots from where it had been into your forehead. You experience the odd sensation of knowing something you didn't know a moment ago. You can now cast BICEPS.

> w
You go west.
You're in a hedge maze. There's a topiary of a friendly murtlap clipped into the hedges. You can go NORTH and EAST.

> n
You go north.
You're in a hedge maze. There's a topiary of a friendly lethifold clipped into the hedges. You can go NORTH and SOUTH.

> n
You go north.
You're in a hedge maze. There's a topiary of a friendly kneazle clipped into the hedges. You can go SOUTH and WEST.

> w
You go west.
You're in a hedge maze. There's a topiary of an eager kneazle clipped into the hedges. You can go EAST and SOUTH.

> s
You go south.
You're in a hedge maze. There's a topiary of an eager lethifold clipped into the hedges. You can go NORTH and SOUTH.

> s
You go south.
You're in a hedge maze. There's a topiary of an eager murtlap clipped into the hedges. You can go NORTH and WEST.

> w
You go west.
You're in a hedge maze. There's a topiary of a distressed murtlap clipped into the hedges. You can go EAST and WEST.

> w
You go west.
You're in a hedge maze. There's a topiary of a cheery murtlap clipped into the hedges. You can go NORTH, EAST and WEST.

> n
You go north.
You're in a hedge maze. There's a topiary of a cheery lethifold clipped into the hedges. You can go EAST and SOUTH.

> e
You go east.
You're in a hedge maze. There's a topiary of a distressed lethifold clipped into the hedges. You can go NORTH and WEST.

> n
You go north.
You're in a hedge maze. There's a topiary of a distressed kneazle clipped into the hedges. You can go NORTH and SOUTH.

> n
You go north.
You're in a hedge maze. There's a topiary of a distressed jackalope clipped into the hedges. You can go SOUTH and WEST.

> w
You go west.
You're in a hedge maze. There's a topiary of a cheery jackalope clipped into the hedges. You can go EAST and WEST.

> w
You go west.
You're in a hedge maze. There's a topiary of a baffled jackalope clipped into the hedges. You can go EAST and WEST.

> w
You go west.
You're in a hedge maze. There's a topiary of an angry jackalope clipped into the hedges. You can go NORTH, EAST and WEST.

> n
You go north.
You're in a hedge maze. There's a topiary of an angry imp clipped into the hedges. You can go NORTH, SOUTH and WEST.

> n
You go north.
You're in a hedge maze. There's a topiary of an angry hippogriff clipped into the hedges. You can go NORTH, SOUTH and WEST.

> n
You go north.
You're in a hedge maze. There's a topiary of an angry gnome clipped into the hedges. You can go EAST, SOUTH and WEST.

> e
You go east.
You're in a hedge maze. There's a topiary of a baffled gnome clipped into the hedges. You can go SOUTH and WEST.

> s
You go south.
You're in a hedge maze. There's a topiary of a baffled hippogriff clipped into the hedges. You can go NORTH, EAST and SOUTH.

> s
You go south.
You're in a hedge maze. There's a topiary of a baffled imp clipped into the hedges. You can go NORTH and EAST.

> e
You go east.
You're in a hedge maze. There's a topiary of a cheery imp clipped into the hedges. You can go EAST and WEST.

> e
You go east.
You're in a hedge maze. There's a topiary of a distressed imp clipped into the hedges. You can go NORTH and WEST.

> n
You go north.
You're in a hedge maze. There's a topiary of a distressed hippogriff clipped into the hedges. You can go NORTH and SOUTH.

> n
You go north.
You're in a hedge maze. There's a topiary of a distressed gnome clipped into the hedges. You can go EAST, SOUTH and WEST.

> e
You go east.
You're in a hedge maze. There's a topiary of an eager gnome clipped into the hedges. You can go NORTH, EAST, SOUTH and WEST.

> n
You go north.
You're in a hedge maze. There's a topiary of an eager fairy clipped into the hedges. You can go NORTH and SOUTH.

> n
You go north.
You're in a hedge maze. There's a topiary of an eager erumpet clipped into the hedges. You can go NORTH and SOUTH.

> n
You go north.
You're in a hedge maze. There's a topiary of an eager dragon clipped into the hedges. You can go EAST, SOUTH and WEST.

> w
You go west.
You're in a hedge maze. There's a topiary of a distressed dragon clipped into the hedges. You can go EAST and SOUTH.

> s
You go south.
You're in a hedge maze. There's a topiary of a distressed erumpet clipped into the hedges. You can go NORTH and SOUTH.

> cast revealing
There's a flash of white light, and when your vision clears you see a wheeled CALLIOPE parked in a patch of dirt.

> cast absorbing at calliope
You point your stick at the CALLIOPE and say "ABSORB". It shrinks until it disappears from view entirely. Then a beam of light shoots from where it had been into your forehead. You experience the odd sensation of knowing something you didn't know a moment ago. You can now cast CALLIOPE.

> n
You go north.
You're in a hedge maze. There's a topiary of a distressed dragon clipped into the hedges. You can go EAST and SOUTH.

> e
You go east.
You're in a hedge maze. There's a topiary of an eager dragon clipped into the hedges. You can go EAST, SOUTH and WEST.

> e
You go east.
You're in a hedge maze. There's a topiary of a friendly dragon clipped into the hedges. You can go EAST and WEST.

> e
You go east.
You're in a hedge maze. There's a topiary of a ghastly dragon clipped into the hedges. You can go NORTH, SOUTH and WEST.

> n
You go north.
You're in a hedge maze. There's a topiary of a ghastly centaur clipped into the hedges. You can go SOUTH and WEST.

> w
You go west.
You're in a hedge maze. There's a topiary of a friendly centaur clipped into the hedges. You can go EAST and WEST.

> w
You go west.
You're in a hedge maze. There's a topiary of an eager centaur clipped into the hedges. You can go EAST and WEST.

> w
You go west.
You're in a hedge maze. There's a topiary of a distressed centaur clipped into the hedges. You can go NORTH, EAST and WEST.

> w
You go west.
You're in a hedge maze. There's a topiary of a cheery centaur clipped into the hedges. You can go EAST and WEST.

> w
You go west.
You're in a hedge maze. There's a topiary of a baffled centaur clipped into the hedges. You can go EAST and WEST.

> w
You go west.
You're in a hedge maze. There's a topiary of an angry centaur clipped into the hedges. You can go NORTH, EAST, SOUTH and WEST.

> n
You go north.
You're in a hedge maze. There's a topiary of an angry basilisk clipped into the hedges. You can go EAST, SOUTH and WEST.

> e
You go east.
You're in a hedge maze. There's a topiary of a baffled basilisk clipped into the hedges. You can go EAST and WEST.

> e
You go east.
You're in a hedge maze. There's a topiary of a cheery basilisk clipped into the hedges. You can go NORTH and WEST.

> n
You go north.
You're in a hedge maze. There's a topiary of a cheery acromantula clipped into the hedges. You can go NORTH, SOUTH and WEST.

> w
You go west.
You're in a hedge maze. There's a topiary of a baffled acromantula clipped into the hedges. You can go NORTH, EAST and WEST.

> w
You go west.
You're in a hedge maze. There's a topiary of an angry acromantula clipped into the hedges. You can go NORTH, EAST and WEST.

> cast revealing
There's a flash of white light, and when your vision clears you see a book lying on the ground. Its title is "WARTHOGS: A History".

> cast absorbing at warthogs
You point your stick at the book and say "ABSORB". It shrinks and shrinks until it disappears from view entirely. Then a beam of light shoots from where it had been into your forehead. You experience the odd sensation of knowing something you didn't know a moment ago. You can now cast WARTHOGS.

> e
You go east.
You're in a hedge maze. There's a topiary of a baffled acromantula clipped into the hedges. You can go NORTH, EAST and WEST.

> e
You go east.
You're in a hedge maze. There's a topiary of a cheery acromantula clipped into the hedges. You can go NORTH, SOUTH and WEST.

> s
You go south.
You're in a hedge maze. There's a topiary of a cheery basilisk clipped into the hedges. You can go NORTH and WEST.

> w
You go west.
You're in a hedge maze. There's a topiary of a baffled basilisk clipped into the hedges. You can go EAST and WEST.

> w
You go west.
You're in a hedge maze. There's a topiary of an angry basilisk clipped into the hedges. You can go EAST, SOUTH and WEST.

> s
You go south.
You're in a hedge maze. There's a topiary of an angry centaur clipped into the hedges. You can go NORTH, EAST, SOUTH and WEST.

> e
You go east.
You're in a hedge maze. There's a topiary of a baffled centaur clipped into the hedges. You can go EAST and WEST.

> e
You go east.
You're in a hedge maze. There's a topiary of a cheery centaur clipped into the hedges. You can go EAST and WEST.

> e
You go east.
You're in a hedge maze. There's a topiary of a distressed centaur clipped into the hedges. You can go NORTH, EAST and WEST.

> n
You go north.
You're in a hedge maze. There's a topiary of a distressed basilisk clipped into the hedges. You can go NORTH and SOUTH.

> n
You go north.
You're in a hedge maze. There's a topiary of a distressed acromantula clipped into the hedges. You can go NORTH, EAST and SOUTH.

> e
You go east.
You're in a hedge maze. There's a topiary of an eager acromantula clipped into the hedges. You can go NORTH, EAST, SOUTH and WEST.

> s
You go south.
You're in a hedge maze. There's a topiary of an eager basilisk clipped into the hedges. You can go NORTH and EAST.

> e
You go east.
You're in a hedge maze. There's a topiary of a friendly basilisk clipped into the hedges. You can go EAST and WEST.

> e
You go east.
You're in a hedge maze. There's a topiary of a ghastly basilisk clipped into the hedges. You can go NORTH and WEST.

> n
You go north.
You're in a hedge maze. There's a topiary of a ghastly acromantula clipped into the hedges. You can go NORTH, EAST and SOUTH.

> e
You go east.
You're in a hedge maze. There's a topiary of a hungry acromantula clipped into the hedges. You can go NORTH, SOUTH and WEST.

> s
You go south.
You're in a hedge maze. There's a topiary of a hungry basilisk clipped into the hedges. You can go NORTH and SOUTH.

> s
You go south.
You're in a hedge maze. There's a topiary of a hungry centaur clipped into the hedges. You can go NORTH and EAST.

> e
You go east.
You're in a hedge maze. There's a topiary of an icky centaur clipped into the hedges. You can go NORTH and WEST.

> n
You go north.
You're in a hedge maze. There's a topiary of an icky basilisk clipped into the hedges. You can go NORTH and SOUTH.

> n
You go north.
You're in a hedge maze. There's a topiary of an icky acromantula clipped into the hedges. You can go NORTH, EAST and SOUTH.

> e
You go east.
You're in a hedge maze. There's a topiary of a judgy acromantula clipped into the hedges. You can go NORTH, EAST, SOUTH and WEST.

> s
You go south.
You're in a hedge maze. There's a topiary of a judgy basilisk clipped into the hedges. You can go NORTH and SOUTH.

> s
You go south.
You're in a hedge maze. There's a topiary of a judgy centaur clipped into the hedges. You can go NORTH and SOUTH.

> s
You go south.
You're in a hedge maze. There's a topiary of a judgy dragon clipped into the hedges. You can go NORTH and EAST.

> e
You go east.
You're in a hedge maze. There's a topiary of a kooky dragon clipped into the hedges. You can go EAST and WEST.

> e
You go east.
You're in a hedge maze. There's a topiary of a lazy dragon clipped into the hedges. You can go SOUTH and WEST.

> s
You go south.
You're in a hedge maze. There's a topiary of a lazy erumpet clipped into the hedges. You can go NORTH, SOUTH and WEST.

> w
You go west.
You're in a hedge maze. There's a topiary of a kooky erumpet clipped into the hedges. You can go EAST and WEST.

> w
You go west.
You're in a hedge maze. There's a topiary of a judgy erumpet clipped into the hedges. You can go EAST and SOUTH.

> s
You go south.
You're in a hedge maze. There's a topiary of a judgy fairy clipped into the hedges. You can go NORTH and EAST.

> e
You go east.
You're in a hedge maze. There's a topiary of a kooky fairy clipped into the hedges. You can go SOUTH and WEST.

> s
You go south.
You're in a hedge maze. There's a topiary of a kooky gnome clipped into the hedges. You can go NORTH and EAST.

> e
You go east.
You're in a hedge maze. There's a topiary of a lazy gnome clipped into the hedges. You can go SOUTH and WEST.

> s
You go south.
You're in a hedge maze. There's a topiary of a lazy hippogriff clipped into the hedges. You can go NORTH, SOUTH and WEST.

> w
You go west.
You're in a hedge maze. There's a topiary of a kooky hippogriff clipped into the hedges. You can go EAST and SOUTH.

> s
You go south.
You're in a hedge maze. There's a topiary of a kooky imp clipped into the hedges. You can go NORTH and WEST.

> w
You go west.
You're in a hedge maze. There's a topiary of a judgy imp clipped into the hedges. You can go EAST and WEST.

> w
You go west.
You're in a hedge maze. There's a topiary of an icky imp clipped into the hedges. You can go NORTH and EAST.

> n
You go north.
You're in a hedge maze. There's a topiary of an icky hippogriff clipped into the hedges. You can go EAST and SOUTH.

> e
You go east.
You're in a hedge maze. There's a topiary of a judgy hippogriff clipped into the hedges. You can go NORTH and WEST.

> n
You go north.
You're in a hedge maze. There's a topiary of a judgy gnome clipped into the hedges. You can go SOUTH and WEST.

> w
You go west.
You're in a hedge maze. There's a topiary of an icky gnome clipped into the hedges. You can go NORTH, EAST and WEST.

> n
You go north.
You're in a hedge maze. There's a topiary of an icky fairy clipped into the hedges. You can go NORTH and SOUTH.

> n
You go north.
You're in a hedge maze. There's a topiary of an icky erumpet clipped into the hedges. You can go NORTH and SOUTH.

> cast revealing
There's a flash of white light, and when your vision clears you see a DELUMINATOR lying on the ground.

> cast absorbing at deluminator
You point your stick at the DELUMINATOR and say "ABSORB". It shrinks and shrinks until it disappears from view entirely. Then a beam of light shoots from where it had been into your forehead. You experience the odd sensation of knowing something you didn't know a moment ago. You can now cast DELUMINATOR.

> s
You go south.
You're in a hedge maze. There's a topiary of an icky fairy clipped into the hedges. You can go NORTH and SOUTH.

> s
You go south.
You're in a hedge maze. There's a topiary of an icky gnome clipped into the hedges. You can go NORTH, EAST and WEST.

> e
You go east.
You're in a hedge maze. There's a topiary of a judgy gnome clipped into the hedges. You can go SOUTH and WEST.

> s
You go south.
You're in a hedge maze. There's a topiary of a judgy hippogriff clipped into the hedges. You can go NORTH and WEST.

> w
You go west.
You're in a hedge maze. There's a topiary of an icky hippogriff clipped into the hedges. You can go EAST and SOUTH.

> s
You go south.
You're in a hedge maze. There's a topiary of an icky imp clipped into the hedges. You can go NORTH and EAST.

> e
You go east.
You're in a hedge maze. There's a topiary of a judgy imp clipped into the hedges. You can go EAST and WEST.

> e
You go east.
You're in a hedge maze. There's a topiary of a kooky imp clipped into the hedges. You can go NORTH and WEST.

> n
You go north.
You're in a hedge maze. There's a topiary of a kooky hippogriff clipped into the hedges. You can go EAST and SOUTH.

> e
You go east.
You're in a hedge maze. There's a topiary of a lazy hippogriff clipped into the hedges. You can go NORTH, SOUTH and WEST.

> s
You go south.
You're in a hedge maze. There's a topiary of a lazy imp clipped into the hedges. You can go NORTH and SOUTH.

> s
You go south.
You're in a hedge maze. There's a topiary of a lazy jackalope clipped into the hedges. You can go NORTH and WEST.

> w
You go west.
You're in a hedge maze. There's a topiary of a kooky jackalope clipped into the hedges. You can go EAST and SOUTH.

> s
You go south.
You're in a hedge maze. There's a topiary of a kooky kneazle clipped into the hedges. You can go NORTH and EAST.

> e
You go east.
You're in a hedge maze. There's a topiary of a lazy kneazle clipped into the hedges. You can go SOUTH and WEST.

> s
You go south.
You're in a hedge maze. There's a topiary of a lazy lethifold clipped into the hedges. You can go NORTH, EAST and WEST.

> e
You go east.
You're in a greenhouse. You see verdant lushness in all directions, and plants spill out of their planters to visit their neighbors. There's an incongruous FIREPLACE against one wall. There's an exit to the WEST.
At the back of the room, a GARDENER is carefully repotting a plant that's trying to take a bite out of the back of her fingers.

> duel gardener
She cries, "Get whomped!".
The GARDENER turns herself into a large, striated muscle. It looks a lot like the one found on the back of your upper arm. Not that you're an expert on the subject or anything, but you've read a few anatomy textbooks in your day. The muscle slithers across the room rather unnervingly, hops up on a table, and tenses itself, as if challenging you.

> cast biceps
You transform into a BICEPS. You climb the table that your triceps opponent has perched herself on, and begin the most disgustingly literal arm wrestling match of your life. As complementary muscles it's a constant push and pull, but you finally gain the upper hand and toss her to the floor.
The GARDENER turns herself into an old man with sunglasses and a walking stick. He's trying to tell you a very long story about the Trojan war, but the whole thing seems pretty uninspired. You stifle a yawn.

> cast calliope
You transform into CALLIOPE, muse of epic poetry. The old storyteller pauses in his bloviating, smiles, and begins to sing you the best damn story you've ever heard. It's got monsters, shipwrecks, a visit to the underworld, an archery contest, and tons of tapestry weaving. So. Epic.
The GARDENER turns herself into a phylogenist wearing a safari hat and T-shirt that reads "Hog-wild for P. africanus." How do you know she's a phylogenist? You're good at knowing stuff. How is a phylogenist an effective spell in a magical duel? I guess you'll find out! Anyways, why do you have so many questions?

> cast warthogs
You turn yourself into "Warthogs: A History", a chronicle of the evolutionary past of everyone's favorite tusked pig. The phylogenist starts to tell you about her weird theory of how wizards and witches are descended from warthogs. But before she can boar you to tears, she gets really excited, shouts, "Warthogs: A History? And a first edition copy? This is too good to be true," and fangirls herself into a frenzy.
The GARDENER turns herself into a spotlight, pointed right at you. You wither under its radiance, which is so intense as to expose your every flaw, both physical and spiritual.

> cast deluminator
You turn yourself into a deluminator. You point yourself at your opponent, and the preponderance of light she's directing at you forms an orb that shrinks and rushes into your body. She's now a burnt out lightbulb, and you feel much better about yourself.
The crackling malice drops away from the GARDENER in bits and pieces like so many dead leaves. She shakes herself and looks relieved.
"Well fought, and well met. You've come at a very dangerous time and have already shown a courage that does your house proud."
"Here's what I remember. After the students reached safety, the four of us who stayed behind got together and searched for the intruder. We were high up in the castle when the Scottish Witch turned on the other three of us. She took us by surprise, and the fight was over before it began. I really don't know how she got the better of us all at the same time; I didn't even hear her vocalize the hex she cast."
"You've got to find the Scottish Witch and stop her. Here's a little spell I use in the greenhouse to tame unruly roots. And keep my hair in order, but that's neither here nor there."
You can now cast the UNTANGLING spell.
"Waste no time to set things right. We're all counting on you."

> enter the fireplace
The world blurs for a moment, then you tumble out through another fireplace.
You're in a bright, round room with lots of well-loved plants hanging from the ceiling and in pots all over the place. Tables and chairs huddle in welcoming configurations. The wooden walls and floor are a muted mustardseed color. There are exits to the NORTH and SOUTH.
There's a PAINTING on the wall over the fireplace. The woman pictured in it is beckoning you over.

> s
You crawl through the barrel.
You go south.
You're in a hall lined with crates, vats, tubs, cabinets, and jars full of every ingredient you could imagine, and then some.
Against the north wall there's a pile of large barrels. The barrel two from the bottom in the middle of the second row has a hinged lid and seems to be some kind of door.
The kitchens are to the SOUTH.

> s
You go south.
The room you're in looks familiar. It's the same dimensions as the dining hall immediately above it, and there are tables in matching positions as well. Only here there's a menagerie of enchanted cookware that seems unaware that the castle has been evacuated. It's slicing, stirring, frying, boiling, rolling, beating, and baking a feast for nobody.
There's an exit into a hall to the NORTH, and an exit to a stairwell to the EAST.

> e
You go east.
You're in a small room at the bottom of an unassuming wooden staircase. There's a wonderful aroma drifting in from somewhere nearby. There are exits WEST and UP.

> u
You go up.
You're at the top of a simple wooden staircase. It connects to a vestibule to the side of the dining hall. There are exits WEST and DOWN.

> w
You go west.
You're in a cavernous space you'd mistake for a cathedral if not for the four long tables that run the length of the room. Looking up you see the twinkling lights of the night sky, and you make a point of picking out Cassiopeia, Orion, and the Dog Star. "I really hope they use this as a planetarium sometimes," you think to yourself. It's unsettling seeing a space this large feel so empty and quiet.
There are exits to the NORTH and EAST.

> n
You go north.
You're in a high-vaulted hallway. The north wall is covered in enormous paintings of dynamic landscapes; roiling waves, rolling hills, gathering thunderclouds, and remote peaks. To the south there's a DOOR large enough that a parade could pass through with room to spare. A gilded grandfather clock stands guard on one side of it. There are exits to the NORTH, SOUTH, and WEST.

> w
You go west.
You're at the intersection of two wide passages. Vaulted hallways run east and west as far as your eye can see. The north-south hallway is shorter; off to the north you can see a large staircase. A rectangular hole in the ground leads into the basement. There are exits to the NORTH, EAST, SOUTH, WEST, and DOWN.

> s
You go south.
You're in a wide hallway. Locked doors of various sizes line the walls on both sides.
An archway to the SOUTH opens into a staircase. It's blocked with an overgrowth of VINES, knotted together in a huge impenetrable mess and studded with thorns.
There's an exit to the NORTH.

> cast untangling at vines
You've untangled your fair share of knotted things in your life - most consistently, your unruly, bushy hair - but this is something else. When the spell hits them, the vines dance around in a frenzy of unsnarlification. After a couple of minutes the vines have formed a neat withdrawn curtain that delicately frames the archway, which you can now pass through to the stairs beyond.

> s
You go south.
You're at the top of a well-worn staircase. Tendrils of creeping vines coat the walls, growing leaves and flowers before your eyes. There are exits to the NORTH and DOWN the stairs.

> d
You go down.
You're in the middle of a well-worn staircase choked with plant life. There are exits UP and DOWN.

> d
You go down.
You're at the bottom of a well-worn staircase choked with vegetation. The walls down here are damp, and you can see a few small stalactites growing out of the ceiling. There are exits EAST, WEST, and UP.

> e
You go east.
You're in what appears to be a cave decorated by someone absolutely obsessed with the color green. There are green couches, a green fireplace, green wall-hangings, green desks, green candles lit with green flames. The overall effect is surprisingly cozy. There are exits to the EAST and WEST.
A stooped CARETAKER shambles around the room, knocking on the walls with his cane and muttering to himself.

> talk to caretaker
He says, "It's as my grandfather used to sing to me:
Snake in each wall,
No snake in each door.
Treasure awaits
When this works for all four…"

> e
You go east.
You're in a maze with stone walls. There's a tile inlay in the floor with an image of three snakes. You can go EAST, SOUTH and WEST.

> s
You go south.
You're in a maze with stone walls. You can go NORTH and SOUTH.

> cast revealing
There's a flash of white light, and when your vision clears you see a pile of DEBRIS sitting on the floor.

> cast absorbing at debris
You point your stick at the DEBRIS and say "ABSORB". It shrinks and shrinks until it disappears from view entirely. Then a beam of light shoots from where it had been into your forehead. You experience the odd sensation of knowing something you didn't know a moment ago. You can now cast DEBRIS.

> n
You go north.
You're in a maze with stone walls. There's a tile inlay in the floor with an image of three snakes. You can go EAST, SOUTH and WEST.

> e
You go east.
You're in a maze with stone walls. You can go SOUTH and WEST.

> s
You go south.
You're in a maze with stone walls. There's a tile inlay in the floor with an image of two snakes. You can go NORTH and EAST.

> cast revealing
There's a flash of white light, and when your vision clears you see the reflective surface of ERISED propped up in a supporting frame in the middle of the room. What's this doing here?

> cast absorbing at erised
You point your stick at the reflective surface… then imagine a horrifying Being John Malkovich-esque outcome if the spell were to recoil… then instead aim at the frame, and say "ABSORB". The frame and reflective surface shrink and shrink until they disappear from view entirely. A beam of light shoots from where it had been into your forehead. You experience the odd sensation of knowing something you didn't know a moment ago. You can now cast ERISED.

> e
You go east.
You're in a maze with stone walls. You can go NORTH, SOUTH and WEST.

> s
You go south.
You're in a maze with stone walls. There's a tile inlay in the floor with an image of two snakes. You can go NORTH, EAST and WEST.

> w
You go west.
You're in a maze with stone walls. You can go EAST and SOUTH.

> s
You go south.
You're in a maze with stone walls. There's a tile inlay in the floor with an image of three snakes. You can go NORTH, SOUTH and WEST.

> s
You go south.
You're in a maze with stone walls. You can go NORTH and EAST.

> e
You go east.
You're in a maze with stone walls. There's a tile inlay in the floor with an image of two snakes. You can go NORTH and WEST.

> cast revealing
There's a flash of white light, and when your vision clears you see that one wall has been tagged with moving graffiti depicting a stick figure PARSELMOUTH chatting with a snake.

> cast absorbing at parselmouth
You point your stick at the PARSELMOUTH and say "ABSORB". The spray paint fades away until there's just the lonely contour of the snake circling the wall. Then a beam of light shoots from where the stick figure had been into your forehead. You experience the odd sensation of knowing something you didn't know a moment ago. You can now cast PARSELMOUTH.

> n
You go north.
You're in a maze with stone walls. You can go EAST and SOUTH.

> e
You go east.
You're in a maze with stone walls. There's a tile inlay in the floor with an image of two snakes. You can go SOUTH and WEST.

> s
You go south.
You're in a maze with stone walls. There's a tile inlay in the floor with an image of three snakes. You can go NORTH, EAST and SOUTH.

> e
You go east.
You're in a maze with stone walls. There's a tile inlay in the floor with an image of one snake. You can go NORTH and WEST.

> n
You go north.
You're in a maze with stone walls. You can go EAST and SOUTH.

> e
You go east.
You're in a maze with stone walls. You can go NORTH, SOUTH and WEST.

> s
You go south.
You're in a maze with stone walls. There's a tile inlay in the floor with an image of two snakes. You can go NORTH and SOUTH.

> s
You go south.
You're in a maze with stone walls. There's a tile inlay in the floor with an image of two snakes. You can go NORTH and WEST.

> cast revealing
There's a flash of white light, and when your vision clears you see a briefcase-sporting, tort-thwarting, dressed-for-courting ATTORNEY standing in the middle of the room.

> cast absorbing at attorney
You point your stick at the ATTORNEY and say "ABSORB". She shrinks and shrinks until disappearing from view entirely. Then a beam of light shoots from where she had been standing into your forehead. You experience the odd sensation of knowing something you didn't know a moment ago. You can now cast ATTORNEY. You really hope there's a way to put her back after all this is done.

> w
You go west.
You're in a maze with stone walls. You can go EAST and SOUTH.

> s
You go south.
You're in a prison of some sort...which strikes you as odd because you're pretty sure this is a school. There are cells of various sizes, many much larger than would be necessary for human prisoners. You're relieved to see that none of the cells are currently occupied. Also unlike any jail you know, there's a FIREPLACE against the far wall. There's an exit to the NORTH.
A BREWER has set up some small flames and bubbling liquids on a table near the door. He keeps hurling vials against the back wall and cursing loudly.

> duel brewer
He sneers, "Do you feel felicitous, mudblood?".
The BREWER turns into magically enchanted brooms that sweep the room until it's spotless. But judging by their trajectory they seem to think you're a piece of trash...

> cast debris
You turn yourself into a pile of debris. May as well embrace this whole trash thing, right? The brooms race towards you, but you're made of heavier stuff than they're equipped to deal with. They work themselves into a frenzy trying to clean you up, and sweep so hard the friction lights them on fire.
The BREWER transforms himself into a scroll filled with meters upon meters of densely packed writing. Cursive writing at the top identifies this as the "Terms and Conditions of Wizardry", and at the very bottom is a small checkbox awaiting your mark and signature. You have a feeling that if you sign this, a third party could access every spell you cast for the rest of your life.

> cast attorney
You turn yourself into an attorney, and a quick glance at the contract is enough to find a weakness. You make a note in the margin, and the whole legal argument crumbles. Technically, this document can be seen to sign all of the author's magical rights over to you.
The BREWER turns into a collector of magical items. He tells you, "What I want more than anything in the world is to understand what I want more than anything in the world."

> cast erised
You turn into the reflective surface of Erised. The collector peers into it, and inside he sees the reflective surface of Erised. He peers into it and sees the reflective surface of Erised. He peers into it and... it's reflective surfaces all the way down. He's good and trapped.
The BREWER turns into a boa constrictor. It hisses urgently at you, almost as if it's trying to tell you something.

> cast parselmouth
You turn yourself into a Parselmouth. Now you can understand the snake. It's saying, "Hey, are you interested in a squeeze? I'm going to assume yes unless you tell me otherwise." You politely decline the hug, and it hisses out, "No problem, this is why I ask."
The fury drains out of the BREWER, and he looks relieved and quite weary. "You know, I retired last year. I came back because they need a substitute. Why do terrible things happen every time I show back up here?"
"You should know something before you go any further. I don't know what dark lord has come for us, but I'm sure it's not the Scottish Witch in there. I know how she fights. Nobility and intention to her every movement. Whatever has her form is chaotic and sloppy. And extremely powerful."
"I'd like to teach you a spell I've never shared with anyone before, not even my most prized students. This is a dangerous spell, because it can drain the magic out of the world. Quite literally. You'll see what I mean. Use it responsibly. Please."
You can now cast the MUGGLIFYING spell.
"Hurry now. I'll gather the others and see if there's anything we can do to help."

> enter the fireplace
The world blurs for a moment, then you tumble out through another fireplace.
You're in what appears to be a cave decorated by someone absolutely obsessed with the color green. There are green couches, a green fireplace, green wall-hangings, green desks, green candles lit with green flames. The overall effect is surprisingly cozy. There are exits to the EAST and WEST.
A stooped CARETAKER shambles around the room, knocking on the walls with his cane and muttering to himself.

> w
You go west.
You're at the bottom of a well-worn staircase choked with vegetation. The walls down here are damp, and you can see a few small stalactites growing out of the ceiling. There are exits EAST, WEST, and UP.

> u
You go up.
You're in the middle of a well-worn staircase choked with plant life. There are exits UP and DOWN.

> u
You go up.
You're at the top of a well-worn staircase. Tendrils of creeping vines coat the walls, growing leaves and flowers before your eyes. There are exits to the NORTH and DOWN the stairs.

> n
You go north.
You're in a wide hallway. Locked doors of various sizes line the walls on both sides.
An archway to the SOUTH opens into a staircase.
There's an exit to the NORTH.

> n
You go north.
You're at the intersection of two wide passages. Vaulted hallways run east and west as far as your eye can see. The north-south hallway is shorter; off to the north you can see a large staircase. A rectangular hole in the ground leads into the basement. There are exits to the NORTH, EAST, SOUTH, WEST, and DOWN.

> n
You go north.
You're at the foot of a grand staircase that could easily accomodate 20 people walking abreast. The stairs branch halfway up, and the two halves form elegant curves that lazily drift in the air, as if they are streamers blown by a gentle breeze. It's arresting to behold and quite cosmetic, as both halves meet again in a gallery above you. You may go SOUTH into a large room, or UP the staircase.

> u
You go up.
You're at the top of a grand staircase. Below you, two sets of staircases ripple invitingly and effortlessly before meeting in a wide, central pathway that spills onto the ground floor. You may go EAST into a hallway, WEST into a small room, or DOWN the staircase.

> e
You go east.
You're in an arcade that runs along the side of a high-vaulted room. A stone railing separates you from a thirty or so foot drop to the south. Down below you can see an enormous door. There are exits to the EAST and WEST.

> e
You go east.
You're in a hallway. The hallway continues to the EAST and WEST.
In the middle of this hall, a TIME TURNER sits on a pedestal.

> cast mugglifying at time turner
You cast MUGGLIFYING on the TIME TURNER, and with a disappointed whump it turns into a plain old, non-magical HOURGLASS.
"Good riddance to convoluted plot devices," you think to yourself, while secretly mourning the loss of an artifact of such incredible power.

> e
You go east.
You're at the bottom of a gleaming white marble staircase that climbs with sharp angled turns. The landing features a suit of armor. There are exits WEST and UP.

> u
You go up.
You're on a gleaming white marble staircase that climbs with sharp angled turns. The landing features a larger-than-life statue of a lion. There are exits UP and DOWN.

> u
You go up.
You're at the top of a gleaming white marble staircase. The landing you're on features a portrait of a rubenesque beauty on the east wall. The painting is on hinges and hangs halfway open, revealing a narrow passageway. There are exits EAST and DOWN.

> e
You go east.
You're in a living room loudly decorated in red and gold. Couches, desks, and ottomans form a semicircle around a fireplace. The GIANT, the SEER, the GARDENER, and the BREWER are all here, looking various degrees of worried and happy to see you.
After you enter, the painting you climbed past swings shut with a decisive whump, and you know without having to check that the door has barred itself shut. There's no going back now. The only exit is a staircase leading UP.

> cast revealing at biceps
What would you like "biceps" to become?

> ice
Revealing alters "biceps" into "ice"! You now know how to CAST ICE.

> cast evening at calliope
What would you like "calliope" to become?

> aloe
Evening alters "calliope" into "aloe"! You now know how to CAST ALOE.

> cast mugglifying at unicorn
What would you like "unicorn" to become?

> horse
Mugglifying alters "unicorn" into "horse"! You now know how to CAST HORSE.

> cast evening at attorney
What would you like "attorney" to become?

> tony
Evening alters "attorney" into "tony"! You now know how to CAST TONY.

> cast revealing at parselmouth
What would you like "parselmouth" to become?

> elmo
Revealing alters "parselmouth" into "elmo"! You now know how to CAST ELMO.

> cast mugglifying at deluminator
What would you like "deluminator" to become?

> lighter
Mugglifying alters "deluminator" into "lighter"! You now know how to CAST LIGHTER.

> cast untangling at hornet
What would you like "hornet" to become?

> throne
Untangling alters "hornet" into "throne"! You now know how to CAST THRONE.

> cast untangling at debris
What would you like "debris" to become?

> brides
Untangling alters "debris" into "brides"! You now know how to CAST BRIDES.

> cast untangling at warthogs
What would you like "warthogs" to become?

> hogwarts
Untangling alters "warthogs" into "hogwarts"! You now know how to CAST HOGWARTS.

> cast mugglifying at erised
What would you like "erised" to become?

> mirror
Mugglifying alters "erised" into "mirror"! You now know how to CAST MIRROR.

> cast evening at spring
What would you like "spring" to become?

> pig
Evening alters "spring" into "pig"! You now know how to CAST PIG.

> cast revealing at jalapeno
What would you like "jalapeño" to become?

> ape
Revealing alters "jalapeño" into "ape"! You now know how to CAST APE.

> u
You go up.
You go up and up a narrow spiral staircase for what feels like a long time. When you finally reach the top, you're in the open air, on a flat circular roof. This is the first time you've been able to see a substantial amount of the castle, which rises all around you. Above and to the sides elegant geometries of stone curve and soar, while gargoyles peer out from narrow perches. A storm is gathering, clouds rushing in most unnaturally from all directions as if jockeying to get a prime view of an unannounced rooftop concert by their favorite band. There's a staircase leading back DOWN.
The SCOTTISH WITCH stands at the opposite end of the circular roof. She's looking down at what appears to be a stopwatch.

> duel witch
She cries, "There can be only one!"
The SCOTTISH WITCH taps her wand twice against the railing, then liquifies herself into a pool of molten rock. She oozes across the ground towards you. She's played the Floor is Lava card!

> cast ice
You turn yourself into a human-shaped ice sculpture. When the lava reaches you, it cools instantly. And that's how you make basalt, ladies and gentlemen.
The SCOTTISH WITCH taps her wand once against the railing, then disappears from sight. You're wondering what she's become, when your skin begins to itch and turn red. You feel the unmistakable heat of a mild, full-body sunburn. You have no idea how she turned herself into a sunburn, and try not to think about the fact that your opponent is currently coating your entire body.

> cast aloe
You turn yourself into aloe and feel sweet relief as the sunburn sensation disappears.
The SCOTTISH WITCH taps her wand against the railing four times, then transforms herself into a hunchbacked British ruler. He's offering you a great deal for his kingdom.

> cast horse
You turn into a derpy horse with an ice cream cone strapped to her head. Richard III doesn't look pleased, but he's a man of his word, and hands over the keys to his kingdom.
The SCOTTISH WITCH taps her wand against the railing once, then transforms herself into the cast of a rap musical about the founding of a school for witchcraft and wizardry. It's really good, but nonstop; every time it ends it starts right back up again. You're helpless to tear yourself away.

> cast tony
You turn yourself into a gleaming Tony award. The cast abruptly stops singing, hoists you into the air, and delivers a long impassioned speech. Music swells and the cast fades back into the Scottish witch. The songs are still stuck in your head, though.
The SCOTTISH WITCH taps her wand against the railing three times, then turns into a giant furry brown elephant-like creature. He seems rather morose, and keeps asking you whether he exists and to tell him how to get to his house on some street you haven't heard of.

> cast elmo
You turn into a furry red creature named Elmo. The furry brown creature perks up when he sees you. You give him a big hug, have a bit of a tickle, and sing a song about friendship together. You just cheered up that elephant, or whatever it is!
The SCOTTISH WITCH taps her wand against the railing twice, then turns herself into a pile of dry hay. You feel a sneeze forming in your nose and feel a full-on allergic reaction coming on.

> cast lighter
You turn yourself into a cigarette lighter, flick your head, and set the hay on fire.
The SCOTTISH WITCH taps her wand against the railing five times, then turns herself into Julius Caesar, draws a sword and barks an order at you: "me deducere sella."

> cast throne
You turn into a picture-perfect gilded throne, the kind that every power-hungry ruler covets. It surprises Caesar. Three times he starts for it, then turns away. Finally, he sits down, and before he can take a breath, toga-clad senators appear from behind various pieces of furniture and start stabbing him. There's a lot of stabbing. Too much, some might say.
The SCOTTISH WITCH taps her wand against the railing four times, then turns herself into seven brothers, all wearing tuxedos and looking around expectantly.

> cast brides
You turn yourself into seven brides, and join the brothers in holy matrimony. You have a big dance party and a good time is had by all.
The SCOTTISH WITCH taps her wand against the railing four times, then turns herself into a Trivial Pursuit game with a picture of the castle you're in on the box.

> cast hogwarts
You turn yourself into "Hogwarts: A History". There's nothing this book doesn't know about Hogwarts. You sweep the Trivial Pursuit game on your first turn. Naturally.
The SCOTTISH WITCH taps her wand against the railing twice, then turns into a vampire. Not the Nosferatu kind; the sparkly kind. He takes a comb out of his pocket and runs it through his hair. He seems more focused on looking good than attacking you at the moment.

> cast mirror
You turn into a plain old mirror. The vampire looks into it, then looks aghast. "I am nothing," he says. "But...how do I look? How can I know? Nooooooo." He disappears in a beautiful puff of smoke.
The SCOTTISH WITCH taps her wand once against the railing, then turns into a bunch of talking animals: horses, dogs, a raven, a sheep, and a donkey. They're trying to organize themselves into a system of self-governance that's probably an allegory for something, but they seem leaderless.

> cast pig
You turn yourself into a talking pig and take charge. Discrimination based on number of legs turns out to be an effective rallying cry, and the animals fall in line beneath your rule.
The SCOTTISH WITCH taps her wand against the railing three times, and prepares to assume her ultimate form. It's an absurdly large banana.

> cast ape
You turn yourself into an ape. Technically, you already were an ape, unless the warthog truther was correct. But now you're one of the big hairy ones. You eat the banana, peel and all.
The SCOTTISH WITCH wipes sweat from her brow. There's a crackling of magic in the air, the feeling you get when someone's casting a spell right at you. But it usually only feels this way when they begin their incantation. The witch tenses her arm as if to hurl a fastball at you. You only have time to CAST one spell…what will it be?

> cast obliviate
"OBLIVIATE," you roar, and a pale green light spouts from your stick, which is still levelled on the SCOTTISH WITCH. At the same moment, she wordlessly uncoils all of the tension in her arm, and a matching green light shoots forth out of her own gnarled stick. The matching streams of light smash together in a crackling mass that electrifies the air between you, and it's all you can do to hold onto your stick. Your arm goes rigid, but you maintain the connection. The SCOTTISH WITCH is doing the same, but she looks wild-eyed and furious.
As the storm of light rages, you start to remember things. At first you think it's déjà vu. But then you realize-you've fought this witch in this room before. Several times. You remember writing a note to yourself before your first battle, to remind yourself of the REVEAL spell if all else fails. You remember transforming into the mirror, the horse, Elmo, all of it. But those other times, you didn't cast OBLIVIATE. Instead the SCOTTISH WITCH somehow wordlessly cast a spell on you, pitching it at you from her stick…no, wand, is the word. She got the better of you, erased your memory, drew a tally mark on your note to yourself, dragged you back into the dungeon, and hid the stairs. She must have reset the entire castle each time. What sort of sick game is she playing?
As if to answer your question, the SCOTTISH WITCH starts to change before your eyes. Her skin ripples, and her robes stretch and pulsate with a strange glow. You recognize that this is a powerful transfiguration hex reverting itself. She screams, and the current of light that connected the two of you fizzles out. Where the SCOTTISH WITCH had been now stands an unfamiliar WIZARD in black velvet robes and a black pointed hat, both trimmed with silver moons.
Before you can say anything, you hear a crashing, splintering noise, and the SCOTTISH WITCH rolls out of an armoire in a cloud of dust. "Thought you could get the better of me, did ya?" she coughs out. She marches over to the WIZARD, snatches her wand out of his hand, and levels it at him. "I've met a lot of dark lords in my day," she says, "but your face is unfamiliar to me. Who are you?"
"My name," he spits, "is MYSTEREO CANTOS. Two years ago a bunch of nerds invaded my castle, stole my d2, and ruined all of my plans, so after trying for a while to pick up the pieces I decided it was time to conquer a new home. Infiltrating your castle and corrupting your professors was too easy, and I started to get bored until this fascinating specimen showed up." He gestures at you. "I've been running her through the same mazes over and over, then wiping her mind, as an experiment to test the effects of repeated exposure of memory erasure charms on the human brain. Only this time around she somehow figured out what's always been obvious to me. Did you know that you people have been making fools of yourselves for centuries yelling spells, when you can encode the instructions in much subtler ways? It's downright embarrassing."
The SCOTTISH WITCH considers this for a moment, then shrugs and says, "I think it's cool to shout in pseudo-Latin before bending the fabric of reality to my will, but, to each her own. Anyhow, I'll be taking you to the dungeons until we figure out what to do with you long-term." She leads the WIZARD towards the door.
Before they make it over the threshold, he twists back and sneers at you. "Hey, if you see any nerds, tell them to call in the name of the spell you used to defeat me. They'll know what that means."
You rub your temples as you imagine what it's going to be like to file this in a report when you get back to the Ministry. And how narrowly you've avoided copyright infringement every step of your journey. But that can wait. For now it's down to the kitchens for a round of butterbeer with some old friends.
Thank you for playing Hexed Adventure II: Hexed Again!