When you invite people for a meal in Thanksgiving Day Town, you can bet there’s a major cleanup.

Readers—I’m going off to roam broam through BANGladesh, MaLAYsia, and other exotic locales, so I’m going to be shutting down the ol’ blog for a while. Just remember some important numbers:

  • 1 awesome website;
  • 231 articles showcasing my fantastic exploits;
  • 3 major landmarks licked last year;
  • 42 ways to sneak out of a hottie’s apartment;
  • 3 books available at your local online superstore (keep those royalty checks coming!)

And, before I depart, a shoutout to some of my favorite nerds readers; here’s a selection of some of the better comments from over the years...

Great time last night with you at the pub. Knocking back some cervezas with you, being your wingman, really great night all around. I never expected to hear someone try to pick up a girl with the line “Why do I have to be me right now?” (or something like that), but there’s a first time for everything! Too bad my son couldn’t join us, but I suppose that would have made it harder to close the deal.
Guys! I just found this totes brilliant website!! It’s written by one of my co-anchor’s very very bestest friends! (He’s a real cutie patootie, and is always saying stuff sorta like “Enough to take this for me?”) Check it out!!
Been reading your posts, and I have just two words: Steak! Sauce! B-T-Dubs, tell your friend that I’m absolutely going to press charges for when he hit me with a chair in the ETR. It’s like you and those guys always say: “Awww,” amirite?
Dear Sir: I’ve asked you repeatedly to stop contacting me. All of us here at the show were of course pleased at your success on our program, but I am not interested in forming any kind of long-term relationship with you, and am frankly confused about your persistence in this matter. And I still don’t know why you whispered “Two, three, four” into my ear during your celebratory hug.
Hey, guys, thanks for locking up the place during the snowstorm last night. I was a bit nervous letting you guys stay, but I couldn’t say no after you kept repeating “What?! Wait, you . . .”. Can’t help but notice that a lot of the kegs have been tapped out, though. Also, some broken glassware. We should have a talk about your tab.
I was disappointed that you and Brover (and my girlfriend) had to run out on dinner last night. The crêpes were, indeed, bon appe-sweet. No, that’s not right. I’m still working on a good phrase. How’d you come up with “This is the best Thanksgiving”? I mean, that’s just perfect.
Ro . . . I mean, your target pulled me aside to talk about some kind of book you have? Not sure how I was supposed to react, so I just said that it didn’t sound like you, because you’re always saying, “The worst is over.” I hope that worked; it’s getting really hard to keep fooling one of my favorite people!
Look, I know that saying “I’ll be back in six hours, tops” is your thing, and I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised since you’re helping your company destroy a major landmark, but I can’t fathom why you didn’t leave my apartment after Thanksgiving dinner. I’m glad you became the blitz.

Later; BS out.