Being president is a dangerous job, so a safety officer of President’s Day Town shares this cautionary yet morbid ditty with you.

NAME stood too close to the edge when he fell.
NAME set his own hair on fire, sad to tell.
NAME sold both kidneys, earning some bread.
NAME pushed a button (the button was red).
NAME doffed her helmet while floating in space.
NAME had some fish bite a sensitive place.
NAME poked a bear with a sharp pointy stick.
NAME ate a really old pie and got sick.
NAME got a bite in the eye from a snake.
NAME played a moose—quite a fatal mistake.
NAME took some meds that expired long ago.
NAME wandered out on the tracks (what a schmo!).
NAME was impatient, and drove ’round a gate.
NAME ate some superglue, sealing his fate.
NAME did some wiring, and died in a fire.
NAME met his end when he hid in a dryer.
NAME crashed his airplane, losing his head.
NAME kicked a wasps’ nest and ended up dead.
NAME scratched a drug dealer’s car (what a dork!).
NAME tried to pull out the toast with a fork.

---   RIV   ELS   TOR