Terry has a lot of aspirations for when she grows up, and it’s up to you to help her fulfill them. The Path to Triumph (a victory road, if you will) has a lot of obstacles—to get through them, you will need Keys To Success. There are 5 different colors of Keys To Success, each of which opens the same color obstacle. No key can be used more than once. To acquire a key, you will need to demonstrate that you have what it takes to succeed in a given career path.

Naturally, succeeding in a career path is no easy feat. There are four components to a Key To Success: a strong motivation, the necessary skills, appropriate equipment, and a packed lunch. To be clear here, to earn one key you need one item from each category of one career. All items must have existed in their current form 3 days ago (except the food). For any demonstrations of skill, you must provide any necessary supplies.

Professor Oak is also offering to help out teams that are just starting out (fewer people). Smaller teams will be granted HMs (skill trainers) to help them on their journey.

Team Size Known HMs
Less than or equal to 20 HM03—SURF
21 to 40 HM01—CUT
41 to 60 HM04—STRENGTH
60+ You know Splash.

When you believe that you have enough items to earn the Keys To Success to navigate the Path to Triumph, submit the instruction ‘GOTTA CATCH EM ALL’ from the submission page. Cranium Command will schedule a visit to your HQ, where you will demonstrate that you have acquired everything you need and can navigate the path.


Path To Triumph

Keys To Success

Red Keys

Career Path Motivation Training Gear Packed Lunch
Doctor Copy of Operation Team member with an illegible signature Stethoscope An apple
Architect A Lego construction Team member who can draw a straight line by hand Protractor An arch-tichoke OR marshmallows and toothpicks
Cheerleader Pom-Poms Team member who can lead a cheer to help their team solve puzzles A (working) megaphone A salad
Professor A children’s chemistry kit OR a rock tumbler A team member’s academic poster Jacket with sleeve patches Coffee
Race Car Driver Power Wheels OR Hot Wheels Team member who can beat us in Mario Kart A motorcycle jacket or helmet Something from a drive-thru
Rock Star CD or cassette tape from a nineties pop artist (Britney Spears, Backstreet Boys, etc.) Team member who can sing specific pitches OR Team member who can play guitar or bass or drums A Guitar Hero or Rock Band controller A bowl of M&Ms (no brown M&Ms plz)

Orange Keys

Career Path Motivation Training Gear Packed Lunch
Astronaut Model rocket OR Apollo 13 on VHS OR telescope Team member who can hold their breath for 45 seconds A piece of SCUBA apparatus (mask, regulator, etc.) OR anything made of titanium Astronaut ice cream OR Dippin’ Dots OR freeze-dried food
Ballerina Nutcracker Team member who can stand en pointe for 30 seconds Tutu Low-fat yogurt
Engineer Copy of Mousetrap Team member who is incapable of smalltalk Slide rule Mountain Dew or other energy drink
Firefighter Toy firetruck Team member who can imitate a siren (well) A ladder A hot pepper
Lion Tamer Stuffed lion toy OR The Lion King on DVD or VHS Team member who can crack a whip with a chair in the other hand OR team member who can jump through a hula hoop A whip OR a hula hoop Popcorn

Yellow Keys

Career Path Motivation Training Gear Packed Lunch
Clown Balloon animal OR circus ticket stub Team member who can juggle for 60 seconds or ride a unicycle Squirting lapel flower OR rubber nose A banana (with peel plz) OR a cream pie
Dinosaur RAWWWR (a plastic dinosaur toy) OR RAWWWR (water-activated dinosaur capsules) RAWWWR (Team member who can “Walk The Dinosaur”, from that awful 80s song) RAWWWR (dinosaur onesie) OR RAWWWR (a tie with dinosaurs on it) RAWWWR (those dinosaur-egg oatmeal packets) OR RAWWWR (dinosaur nuggets (cooked, plz))
Mountain Climber Banff Film Festival ticket OR Reel Rock DVD OR something with Alex Honnold on it Team member who can do 10 pull-ups Climbing carabiner that is rated to hold a human A Clif Bar
Movie Star A red carpet Team member method acting as Terry Sunglasses 7 limes
Princess Team member with picture of themself as child at Disneyland or Disney World. Bonus points if princess in picture. Team member who can do the royal wave Tiara A single pea

Green Keys

Career Path Motivation Training Gear Packed Lunch
Paleontologist Toy fossil dig kit Team member who can sing the entirety of “I Am a Paleontologist” by They Might Be Giants An actual fossil, piece of amber with insect, or piece of petrified wood An edible paleo dish
Pet Store Owner A classic Beanie Baby Team member who has taken their dog to obedience school (proof required) A live pet (your child doesn’t count) Animal crackers
Stand-up Comedian A Tickle Me Elmo (note: only real Sesame Street brand Tickle Me Elmos will be allowed. Do not have a team member dress in red and try to tickle us. Never again.) Team member who can make us laugh Microphone Tomatoes
The Doctor Classic Who memorabilia from before 1997 Team member who can list all the actors who have played the Doctor in order Sonic screwdriver Jelly babies OR fish sticks and custard
Volcanologist Baking soda and vinegar (plz demonstrate use) Team member who can get all the way around the room without touching the floor A piece of obsidian, pumice, or other igneous rock A chocolate lava cake

Blue Keys

Career Path Motivation Training Gear Packed Lunch
Baker Easy-Bake oven Team member who can whip cream by hand Sourdough starter Cookies (you will not get these back)
Park Ranger Junior Park Ranger patch Team member who has pictures of themself identifiably in 10 or more National Parks Stetson hat (mountie hat) A pic-a-nic basket OR gummy bears
Politician Framed photo of any former US President Bribe us. An American Flag lapel pin A waffle
Theoretical Physicist An Einstein doll OR a Newton’s cradle Team member who can explain quantum physics String (for string theory?) OR Schroedinger’s cat An apple