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Hacking Island
Mission Objectives
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People slaving away generating power Pledging your eternal soul to the thing that literally controls the weather Interactions with Starfleet Human hybrid offspring Need for a brash copilot Apologizing for emissions and racism Beings everywhere coming together to offer what little they have Potato based religion popularity Decision to protect the twelve colonies Crises of faith Offering the galaxy’s most influential civil rights leader a chance to live Word of your attempts spreading across the galaxy Consuming their proteins Examples of what Headism can offer the world Energy swords used Sex with froopy creatures Attempts to weasel out of it Xenophile cultures encountered Pressure to donate your genitals Ability to pay for a synthetic heart Misperception of approval from the giant head Arrogant scientist pricks inventing energy sources Realization that the old gods are dead Discussion of humanity’s obsession with penises Dropping to your knees Microverses Going out onto the sidewalk Food needed
Mounting suspicion of your only companion Ability for a talking chair to know who is lying Using your last drop of fuel Story arcs following the hero’s journey Red Xs marked on foreheads Telepathic parasites Flashbacks Dangerous criminals that look exactly like us Ithorians revering nature Freezing time Zany wacky characters Desire to remember everything Embedded memories Murder of beloved friends Number of Popplers eaten Groups of Morlocks Ability to fix the house before your parents get home Memory storage units viewed
Portals to Asgard Bombing yourself back into the Stone Age Pluto’s status as a planet Distraction and henpecking Manipulation through sex and advanced technology Ability to throw an awesome party Laser guns given to monkeys Ability to focus entirely on war Ability of rich corporations to keep mining Morphizer use Usefulness of Replicants Insistence that Pluto is a planet Number of people controlled by entity Size of holes in the plot Size of body parts Female domination of society Size of Pluto Fractal dust ingested Reliance on birthing machines Attempts to get back to normal
Scientific-sounding gibberish Ability to alter details Agents ordered to attack Need for an antidote Helpers roped into this Interdimensional pathways Difficulty of fulfilling your purpose Brazenness of selfie requests Perceived importance of getting a selfie Shedding the blood of your brothers Genetic changes caused by serum Gagh palatability Ability to leave the brain analyzer Dead Secret Service agents Number of Force-sensitive children Experiencing fabricated origin stories Length of existence Viruses uploaded to brain analyzer Hostages taken Sympathy for the Na’vi Exotic DNA included in the serum