You're Telling Me
This is a puzzle based on the “You’re telling me a shrimp fried this rice?” meme where noun phrases are reparsed to have unexpected meanings. The clues are given alphabetically by answer. Once solved, the lengths and parts of speech of the reparses are given in a new order, along with an index. Indexing the phrases with the given values gives the answer phrase “DOES COAL COME OUT OF THE FAUCET” with an enumeration of 6 4, which gives the answer CARBON SINK.
| Clue | Answer | Index | Extract |
| Are you making a picture of a flat surface? | DRAWING BOARD | 1 | D |
| Who would employ a liquid? | WATERWORKS | 7 | O |
| Isn't scaring a reptile animal abuse? | RATTLESNAKE | 11 | E |
| Do you need me to give instructions to a stop? | TRAIN STATION | 6 | S |
| Is that like a blunt weapon for beating Canada or France up? | COUNTRY CLUB | 8 | C |
| I'm pretty sure stones are made of elements too dense for fusion. | ROCK STAR | 2 | O |
| WWE seems dangerous enough without any weapons. | ARM WRESTLING | 1 | A |
| Are those what you use to drink aqueous humor? | EYEGLASSES | 5 | L |
| What's the point of frightening a child? | COWBOY | 1 | C |
| Throwing cutlery around seems too dangerous. | PITCHFORK | 7 | O |
| You need some milk taken out, boss? | ICE CREAM | 8 | M |
| Can a two-dimensional space even contain a gas? | AIRPLANE | 8 | E |
| Why do you need me to cut some twigs? | CHOPSTICKS | 3 | O |
| You mean to say that this firearm shoots appendages? | HANDGUN | 6 | U |
| You're telling me there's a scam happening around Wimbledon? | TENNIS RACKET | 1 | T |
| Are you telling me you want me to make a timepiece panic? | ALARM CLOCK | 8 | O |
| How's an insect supposed to get a job now? | FIREFLY | 1 | F |
| Are you asking me to record the dirt until something comes out of it? | TAPEWORM | 1 | T |
| Are you cleaning a mechanical device? | WASHING MACHINE | 4 | H |
| I didn't think that footwear could move by itself. | RUNNING SHOES | 11 | E |
| I mean, unless you're billed by the hour, wouldn't you always want a legal ordeal to be short? | BRIEFCASE | 5 | F |
| You'd need billions of insects to make something tall enough to show up on a map. | ANTHILL | 1 | A |
| Is it even possible to wash the lack of something? | VACUUM CLEANER | 4 | U |
| Do you need me to give proper attribution to a piece of paper? | CREDIT CARD | 1 | C |
| Do you need to find out how fast a display is? | TIME FRAME | 4 | E |
| Is that where you go into the woods and shoot a crossword? | PUZZLE HUNT | 10 | T |