By Roger Ford and Jennifer Berk
“Shut up, alright? Both of you! This is my job now.”
“Your job? Jimmy, you’re not writing recaps, are you?”
“Oh, Jimmy. Are you grading this episode?”
“No! I am writing the official novelization of the show.”

You’re The Worst, season 2, episode 5

Since everyone from Buzzfeed to the New York Times is publishing TV episode recaps now, this puzzle imagines recaps by a bunch of niche publications. Identify each recapped episode by matching the writing style of the paragraphs with the magazine titles and by matching the episode titles with the enumerations provided. Take the letter marked by the newspaper icon. In alphabetical order by episode title (clued by “sort” in the flavor text and by the fact that it is the only alphabetical sorting not yet used in the puzzle), the indicated letters spell TIME MAGAZINE, the answer to the puzzle.

The recapped episodes, in the order given, which is alphabetical by show:

Magazine Show Episode
Page Six 30 Rock MILF Island
Popular Mechanics The Americans Do Mail Robots Dream of Electric Sheep?
Dogster The Blacklist Alistair Pitt (No. 103)
Fast Company Community App Development and Condiments
Us Weekly House Living the Dream
The Chronicle of Higher Education How I Met Your Mother Definitions
AVN Party Down Sin Say Shun Awards Afterparty
Psychology Today Seinfeld The Pez Dispenser
Cosmopolitan Sex and the City Three’s a Crowd
The Nation The Simpsons Last Exit to Springfield
2600 The X-Files Anasazi
Spin You’re The Worst A Right Proper Story