Reward: Item or Gold!
A squadron of combat engineers arrives to inspect the bridge. They bring gossip from headquarters.
Opening statements
“The interservice court-martial has been called to order, TJAG MG John Doe presiding. Defendants, please step forward and state your name, rank, and pay grade.”
  • Ifeoma Ifill, US Air Force, sir. My rank, caused by brain injury, can be retrograde or anterograde (7).
  • Rebecca Rotifer, US Navy, sir. My rank is a lightweight craft wood (5).
  • Gabby Gadfly, US Navy, sir. My rank is a state formerly in Yugoslavia (6 3 11).
  • Norah Normalville, US Army, sir. My rank is Catshill’s district (10).
  • Hermione Hyrax, US Navy, sir. My rank is element 48 (7).
  • Deng Dragoon, US Navy, sir. My rank is mass divided by volume (7).
  • McGregor Muggle, US Navy, sir. My rank is the protagonist of The Crow (4 6).
  • Olivia Omnibus, US Army, sir. My rank is a thermoplastic adhesive sold in stick form (3 4 4).
  • Erin Erg, US Air Force, sir. My rank is also known as German turnip (8).
  • Lew Liftgate, US Navy, sir. My rank is a package management system for OSX (8).
  • Katashi Kneecap, US Army, sir. My rank is the Honey Boo Boo matriarch (4 4).
  • Camryn Cheddar, US Navy, sir. My rank is various smelly compounds added to natural gas (10).
  • Spiros Spokane, US Air Force, sir. My rank is a philosophical principle of parsimony (5’1 5).
  • Pip Primordial, US Army, sir. My rank is a high-pitched woodwind (7).
  • Quint Quizbowl, US Army, sir. My rank is the one of the four fundamental states of matter (6).
  • Fatimah Fox, US Army, sir. My rank is a non-SI unit of radiation exposure (8).
  • Blaise Barrier, US Air Force, sir. My rank has been retired, sir, but it’s an older English beer cocktail (10).
  • Jerry Jetski, US Army, sir. My rank is coating via galvanization (4 7).
“You have been charged under Article 134 of the UCMJ. Prosecutor, do you have evidence for the offenses?”

Yes, sir.

  • First, we visit a stop on the outer half of the Craigieburn line (12 7 7).
  • In this exhibit, we have one of several names for Anton Chigurh’s weapon of choice (7 4 3).
  • Here, we present the set of large animals whose conservation is especially popular (11 9).
  • Another exhibit is a common animal protein (8).
  • As an expert witness, we call a specialist like Dr. Douglas Filmore from Bones (8 10).
  • This is the royal we, formally (8 6).
  • The next witness ran Seattle’s first brothel (6 8).
  • In the witness box is Mr. Mxyzptlk’s animated girlfriend (2. 8).
  • Here, we have one of the three varieties of Athenian theater (7 5).
“How do the defendants plead?”

You may already have that information, sir. To confirm, defendants Barrier, Dragoon, Hyrax, Jetski, Kneecap, Liftgate, Muggle, Quizbowl, Rotifer, and Spokane plead guilty. Defendants Cheddar, Erg, Fox, Gadfly, Ifill, Normalville, Omnibus, and Primordial admit the facts but argue that no offense was committed.

“These are very serious circumstances. Your actions are connected to the sinking of one of our allies’ ships: the HMS . . . what? I’m sorry, I can’t make out what is written here. Defendants? Can you complete the ship’s name?”

We can name the highest-ranking officer lost in its sinking, sir.