Missed Connections

We wanted a vacation to liven our boring lives, and did we ever get it! Murder, robbery, and life on the run followed. We blew up a fuel truck, and ended up at the Grand Canyon, where we decided not to surrender, and go out our own way.

Although I had a child with your predecessor you were my one true love. Getting into your home was no easy task, for I had to present myself rolled into a gift. Forever we will be remembered on stage, screen, and in history. Our worlds collided however our empires did not. We could have taken over the world.

You broke us free from that cage and led us on so many adventures together. Narf. I don't know why we spent so much time doing all those things. Oh... That's right, you wanted to take over the world.

Your parents disowned you, but you married me anyway and we settled down for a normal life. We raised two kids together, stayed together more than eighty years, and through it all you never got fat on those big sandwiches.

I was a rabbit, and you were human, but we were both Toons, and that was good enough in our town. You cheated on me, and then I got framed for your lover's murder, but it all worked out in the end.

You were my cousin, but who cares! We were to be married the moment we met. It was the Golden Age and we would rule together. Funding the travels of many explorers who one day would have a holiday named after them.

We started in the burlesque scene with our skit comedy. We performed on the radio and that's when the real show started. They called us the "Kings of Comedy" and even gave us some movie contracts. Including one really weird comic version where we meet a big green monster! We will go on to be the early pioneers of episodic television.

My fairytale began when I met you, you were my sister after all. We went for a stroll through the woods only to find the home of our dreams, a house made entirely of candy! Little did we know we would end up being the meal.

You were wounded in battle, and I healed you. Later I had to marry your uncle, though I did and would always love you. Our story was as everlasting as our love, and was retold through the ages, including in a 2006 film.

My twin, you and I were the sons of a god. After restoring our grandfather to the throne, we chose to start a new city. Too bad you could not see eye to eye with me on where to place it; I had to kill you for that, and name the city for myself.

I really thought you loved me. So we had a fight? So what, couples fight. But you had to do the worst thing, you had to find someone else. The worst part? You let me catch you in the act. I did what any woman would do, I ended your life! The music was written first in 1904 but our story would be eventually told and recorded over and over throughout the century.

You loved chasing and tormenting me, though I always got away and sometimes retaliated violently. Even though your job was to keep pests like me out of the house, once in a while we made up and acted like good friends.

Our love was doomed from the start, by the stars, some said, as our families hated each other and neither would ever allow us to marry. You thought I had died, and took your own life, and when I discovered this, I took mine as well.

I from Roxbury, and you from New York, got together and made great art for the masses. We were such a part of American culture that they wrote our names into a Christmas song decades after our deaths.

I was sworn to a divine oath before I was even born, and because of it, I could not be beaten. But I fell in love with you, let my secret slip, and you took my locks, my strength, and everything.

Working all those years at that power plant just to know that I had you to come home to. You with that beautiful blue hair, and our amazing kids who never age. How could you have left me after all those years? Doh!

I wrote great words, and you wrote great music. The stage shows we wrote, about everything from pirates to three little Japanese maids, kept Victorian audiences (and those for generations to come) in stitches.

It was a dream come true, I have met my partner in crime. Literally! We went on that tremendous road trip together, too bad we were being chased. I tried to save us by firing off that first shot but unfortunately we were surrounded. We did die doing what we love, robbing banks!

I operated a crane, and drove our foot-powered car, and you took care of our stone house and our daughter. We had great fun, sometimes with our neighbors, whose son eventually married our daughter.

Did you know that your kiss was on my list? I mean for a man eater you really did steal the scene. Who knew that day when we first met we would be inducted into the hall of fame of Rock n Roll?

I was a billionaire, rich enough to afford my own cave. You were an acrobat, but we were both orphans. We made a great duo, fighting the evils around us. For more than 70 years our stories have appeared in print and on the big and small screens.

I was not a good father to our child, and had run-ins with the law, a crocodile, a ghost, or even the devil, but the tall stick I carried always beat them all down. "No strings attached" is a phrase that didn't really apply to us, though in later times those sticks and strings were replaced by hands.