Chatterbox
by Mark Halpin and Nathan Fung
ANSWER: CURTLY
Each of the lines given is a Tom Swifty, and may be completed with the punchline "Tom said X-ly." The adverbs begin with unique letters G through W, so answers should be ordered thusly. Each line also contains a superfluous word, one which rhymes with a digit "one" through "nine". Those numbers are used to index into the answers.
| Statement | Tom Swifty |
|---|---|
| "That bloody severed eyeball is reminiscent of hulled grain, [bricks], and a British four-penny coin." | groteSquely (groat-esque) |
| "It's absolutely terrible when Ebert [picks] acts like a high-strung kid." | hyperCritically |
| "[I've] ... waves ... constant ... phase ... relative ... not ... " | incoHerently |
| "I wasn't serious about the guy playing the guitar [score] for The Fray." | jokIngly (Joe King) |
| "Ah, I see this house lacks a [straight], subordinate projecting part." | knowingLy (no wing) |
| "My converted warehouse apartment is far, far better [done] than yours." | Loftily |
| "My eyes tear up when I think of the program matching [few] students to international research and internships." | mIstily (MISTI) |
| "May I please have a piece of this [fun] foliated metamorphic rock?" | Nicely (gneiss) |
| "I'm willing to concede that Love [Hate] & Life singer's last name sounds Irish." | obliginGly (O' Blige) |
| "A couple of [spine] surgeons are simultaneously better and worse than just an individual." | paradoxiCally (pair of docs) |
| "I contend that you're wrong about the total number of [wee] crossbow bolts." | quArrelsomely (quarrel + sum) |
| "Apropos of nothing, that's the oldest [free] dorm on campus." | raNdomly |
| "I dare you to eat this mush made from meat and cornmeal [mix]!" | scrapPily (scrapple) |
| "I repeat yet again: I do not have any [new] radials or retreads." | tIrelessly |
| "On my honor, I love music from a compact piano: [heaven]!" | uprighTly |
| "Oldman absolutely sucked playing that [ Glee] singer." | viCiously |
| "Your frigate has its complement of [live] marines, your most glorious majesty." | worsHipfully (warship full) |
Doing so yields the brief comment SCHILLING CAN PITCH, which, it might be imagined, Tom said CURTLY.