Solution to Got Milk?

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Answer: TASTINESS

by Jon Schneider

Solvers are presented with a list of "tasting reviews" of unspecified objects, each associated with a location (a country or US state) and a rating (some number of stars). On the surface, these reviews may appear to be about coffee (or other beverages) but solvers might notice that the ingredients appearing in each review’s notes sound like ingredients you might expect to find in cookies.

Indeed, each review is actually a loose description of a Pepperidge Farm cookie — specifically, a Pepperidge Farm cookie named after a city in the corresponding location (e.g. Milano for Italy) [1]. Prominent ingredients (e.g. macadamia nuts) for each cookie appear as "notes" in its review (with the exception that milk chocolate appears just as "milk", and dark chocolate appears as having a "dark roast"). Other adjectives in the comments loosely describe the texture and shape of the cookie.

Using the locations and comments, it is possible to match up Pepperidge Farm cookies and reviews as follows:

LocationPepperidge Farm CookieRating (# of stars)
ItalyNaples6S
SwitzerlandZurich2U
IrelandDublin3B
HawaiiMaui1M
FloridaSanibel4I
FloridaCaptiva4T
MassachusettsNantucket4T
MichiganMackinac2A
BelgiumBrussels5S
New YorkMontauk4T
Massachusetts [2]Lexington4I
ItalyMilano5N
FranceBordeaux5E
VirginiaChesapeake4S
CaliforniaSausalito4S

Indexing the number of stars in each rating into the cookie names leads to the phrase SUBMIT TASTINESS. The answer to this puzzle is TASTINESS.

[1] This is also confirmed by the flavortext, which sounds like an old Pepperidge Farm advertising tagline.

[2] The Lexington cookies are probably named after Lexington, MA (instead of Lexington, KY, or another US-based Lexington), although Pepperidge Farms has never officially confirmed this.