Turning Æsop's Tables; a new translation

Erratum on Tue, 1/16/24, 7:43 PM UTC: The first sentence of the 7th story should be changed to: "A Red Root Vegetable was felling a tree on the bank of a river, when her axe, glancing off the trunk, flew out of her hands and fell into the water."

A Lioness and a Vixen were talking together about their young, as mothers will, and saying how healthy and well-grown they were, and what beautiful coats they had, and how they were the image of their parents. "My litter of cubs is so large, surely some of them will do well in the upcoming footrace," said the Fox; and then she added, rather maliciously, "But I notice you never have more than one." "No," said the Lioness grimly, "but that one's a lion, and unlike your cubs, who may not even run fast enough during the preliminaries to be allowed in the race, my lion is sure to make the cut."


A Hare was one day making fun of a Tortoise for being so slow upon his feet. "Wait a bit," said the Tortoise; "I'll run a race with you, and I'll wager that I win." "Oh, well," replied the Hare, who was much amused at the idea, "let's try and see"; and it was soon agreed that the fox should set a course for them, and be the judge. When the time came both started off together, but the Hare was soon so far ahead that she thought she might as well have a rest: so down she lay and fell fast asleep. Meanwhile the Tortoise ate some sliced raw cabbage and mayonnaise salad. Invigorated by this filling meal, the Tortoise plodded along at a consistent, moderate pace, and in time reached the goal. At last the Hare woke up with a start, and dashed on at her fastest, but only to find that the Tortoise had already won.


A Fox fell into a well and was unable to get out again. By and by a thirsty Goat came by, and seeing the Fox in the well asked him if the water was good. "Good?" said the Fox, "it's the best water I ever tasted in all my life. However, all of the available slots for drinking today's water have already been filled. You may make an appointment to come back tomorrow." The Goat thought of nothing but the prospect of quenching her thirst, and jumped in at once. Upon jumping in, she found that she landed upon the Fox in the bottom of the well, and was unable to drink the water for the Fox was in the way. Presently the Fox said, "If only you had made an appointment at a time when no one was in the well you could have jumped in and drunk the water to your heart's content."


A Man who wanted to buy an Ass went to market, and, coming across a likely-looking beast, arranged with the owner that he should be allowed to take him home on trial to see what he was like. When he reached home, he put him into his stable along with the other asses. The newcomer took a look round, dug for a moment in the food trough pulling out some slimy brown plant-like material, then immediately walked towards the laziest and greediest beast in the stable. The new Ass covered the sluggish beast in the slimy brown material. When the master saw this he put a halter on him at once, and led him off and handed him over to his owner again. The latter was a good deal surprised to see him back so soon, and said, "Why, do you mean to say you have tested him already?" "I don't want to put him through any more tests," replied the other: "I could see what sort of beast he is from which Ass he chose to cover in seaweed."


An Eagle swooped down upon a Serpent and seized it in her talons with the intention of carrying it off and devouring it. But the Serpent was too quick for her and had its coils round her in a moment; and then there ensued a life-and-death struggle between the two. A Sea Swallow, who was a witness of the encounter, came to the assistance of the Eagle, and succeeded in freeing her from the Serpent and enabling her to escape. The Eagle was eager to know more about her rescuer, and the two began to chat. When the Eagle learned that the Sea Swallow was single and looking for a companion, the Eagle informed the Sea Swallow that one of her close friends was a Sea Swallow who was similarly brave, righteous, and kind, and she would be glad to set the two Sea Swallows up on a date.


A farmer's daughter had been out to milk the cows, and was returning to the dairy carrying her pail of milk upon her head. As she walked along, she fell a-musing after this fashion: "The milk in this pail will provide me with cream, which I will make into butter and take to market to sell. With the money I will buy a number of eggs, which will produce chickens, and by and by I shall have quite a large poultry-yard. The chickens I shall keep safe from predators by fastening shut the door at night. Then I shall sell some of my fowls, and with the money which they will bring in I will buy myself a new gown, which I shall wear when I go to the fair; and all the young fellows will admire it, and come and propose marriage, but I shall toss my head and have nothing to say to them." And it came to pass that she made and sold the butter, and bought the eggs, which turned into chickens that she kept in the henhouse. However, she was so caught up in her continued daydreams, that she forgot to fasten the door shut. And so the wind blew open the door, and a Fox came at night and ate her chickens, and all her fine castles in the air vanished in a moment!


A Red Root Vegetable was felling a tree on the bank of a river, when her axe, glancing off the trunk, flew out of her hands and fell into the water. As she stood by the water's edge lamenting her loss, Mercury appeared and asked her the reason for her grief; and on learning what had happened, out of pity for her distress he dived into the river and, bringing up a golden axe, asked her if that was the one she had lost. The Vegetable replied that it was not, and Mercury then dived a second time, and, bringing up a silver axe, asked if that was hers. "No, that is not mine either," said the Vegetable. Once more Mercury dived into the river, and brought up the missing axe. The Vegetable was overjoyed at recovering her property, and thanked her benefactor warmly; and the latter was so pleased with her honesty that he made her a present of the other two axes. When the Vegetable told the story to her companions, the companions ridiculed her for not claiming the golden axe to be her own when the opportunity arose. The Vegetable responded, "Lying is not the way of my people."


A Shepherd's Boy was tending his flock near a village, and thought it would be great fun to hoax the villagers by pretending that a Wolf had attacked the sheep: so he printed out newspapers announcing the attack, with the headline, "Wolf! Wolf!". He charged 10 shillings per paper and when the people who bought them came running out to check on the sheep he laughed at them for their pains. He did this more than once, and every time the villagers found they had been hoaxed, for there was no Wolf at all. At last a Wolf really did come, and the Boy printed out newspapers again with the text, "Wolf! Wolf!" in the largest font he could fit: but the people were so used to the fake headlines that no one paid for the paper or took any notice of his warning. And so the Wolf had it all his own way, and killed off sheep after sheep at his leisure.


A Lion and a Wild Ass went out hunting together: the latter was to run down the prey by his superior speed, and the former would then come up and dispatch it. They met with great success; and when it came to sharing the spoil the Wild Ass divided it all into three equal portions. "I will take the first," said he, "because I was the first to spot our prey each time; I will also take the second, because, as your partner"—here the Wild Ass stared down the Lion straight in her eyes—"I am entitled to half of what remains; and as for the third—well," and finally the Wild Ass kicked up a cloud of dust into the Lion's eyes, "I do not think you will be able to see which way I take off with it!"


A certain man had several Sons who were always quarrelling with one another, and, try as he might, he could not get them to live together in harmony. So he determined to convince them of their folly by the following means. Though he was bigger than any of his sons, he challenged them to work together as one to wrestle him to the ground. They all besieged him and when they were on the cusp of restraining him, he pulled out a sliced aromatic root vegetable. Their eyes immediately began to water, and he had no difficulty at all in breaking free from their holds. "There, my boys," said he, "united you may be more than a match for most enemies: but you will always be at the mercy of one who can make you cry."


A Dog was lying in the sun before a farmyard gate when a Wolf pounced upon her, tied her up in strong twisted string, and was just starting to eat her up; but she begged for her life and said, "You see how thin I am and what a wretched meal I should make you now: but if you will only wait a few days my master is going to give a feast. All the rich scraps and pickings will fall to me and I shall get nice and fat: then will be the time for you to eat me." The Wolf thought this was a very good plan, untied the Dog's bindings and went away. Some time afterwards he came to the farmyard again, and found the Dog lying out of reach on the stable roof. "Come down," he called, "and be eaten: you remember our agreement?" But the Dog said coolly, "My friend, I shall never again lay around anywhere that you could tie me up."