Museum Rules
We are given a storybook with pictures of a tourist breaking weird “museum rules.” Through a bit of googling key terms for each picture, we’ll eventually find that these images are all referring to weird things that are illegal or popularly believed to be illegal in different states. For example, “donkey bathtub” or “elephant parking meter” might be good break-in points.
We identify the state where each activity is illegal. Based on the flavor “appeal to the highest power” and the large circle on the last two pages of the book, we can infer that we are looking for the Supreme Court seals from each state. (It is important to use the Supreme Court seals, rather than the state seals. The two use similar motifs, but usually differ slightly.) Each object the tourist sees during each of their illegal activities can be found somewhere on the corresponding state's Supreme Court seal. Images can be seen in the Appendix. By overlapping the seal with the provided circle, we can extract the letters TOTALLY UNACCEPTABLE.
| Image | State | Illegal Activity | Part of Seal | Extraction |
|---|---|---|---|---|
 | Texas | Selling one's eye | Top of largest star | T |
 | Arizona | Having a sleeping donkey in a bathtub | Where 3 arrows start | O |
 | Utah | Firing missiles into bus terminals | Sun | T |
 | Montana | Bringing sheep onto a railroad track with the intent of damaging the rail | Shovel head | A |
 | Washington | Marathon dancing | Nostril | L |
 | Vermont | Painting a horse | Right scale | L |
 | Indiana | Taking a bath between October and March | Middle of the book | Y |
 | Ohio | Killing a fly next to a church | Halfway along each arrow (they all share a midpoint) | U |
 | Delaware | Pawnbrokers can't accept prosthetics | Feathered hat | N |
 | New York | Taking selfies with tigers | Middle of Stan Lee's motto (Excelsior) | A |
 | Hawaii | Putting coins in your ears | Flower stem | C |
 | Wyoming | Tattooing a horse | Head of pickaxe | C |
 | Connecticut | Biking above 65 mph | Truth | E |
 | Florida | Paying for a parking meter if you tie an elephant to it | Shield | P |
 | Oregon | Owning more than 50 sexually intact dogs. (The last 2 squares have 2 dogs, giving 51 dogs in total.) | Oxen | T |
 | Arkansas | Pronouncing Arkansas incorrectly | Laurels | A |
 | North Carolina | Plowing cotton fields with an elephant | Hand holding scales | B |
 | New Jersey | Selling handcuffs to minors | Second plow | L |
 | Nevada | Driving a camel on the highway | Eagle's beak | E |
Authors' Notes
During construction and factchecking of this puzzle, we found that many of the activities claimed to be illegal were urban myths and did not have a matching primary source. As much as possible, we tried to use acts that were truly illegal, but we made concessions for states with interesting seals or urban myths that were amusing.
For the sake of completeness, we believe the weird laws used for Arizona, Indiana, Ohio, Florida, Arkansas, and North Carolina are no longer real or were never real.
Appendix
