Use the 38 bank answers to complete standard definitions (left side) of words to be determined, and wacky definitions for the same words based on their pronunciations (right side). Index into the defined word (both in the left column and the right column), using the number after the word that filled the blank in the associated left or right definition.
| STANDARD DEFINITION | WORD | WORD | WACKY DEFINITION | WACKY PARSING | ||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Reading FATIGUE (4), perhaps | EYESTRAIN | S | G | FOAMING | Imitation VASE (7) | FAUX MING |
| Falling PARADE (1) debris | TICKERTAPE | T | O | LOGARITHM | LUMBERJACK (2) beat | LOGGER RHYTHM |
| Scholastic AGENDA (7) | SYLLABUS | U | L | IMPOLITE | Flaming URCHIN (5) | IMP ALIGHT |
| Category of MARINE (6) foodstuffs | SHELLFISH | F | F | WEFT | Opposite of WIGHT (3) | LEFT (mispronounced) |
| Creating SUDS (1) | FOAMING | F | C | CONSTABULARY | Reason not to enter the PRISON (1), Mr. David | CON STAB YOU, LARRY |
| Intricate FLOORING (2) work | PARQUETRY | A | L | CLAYMORE | Assert ownership over a VEIN (2) | CLAIM ORE |
| Eponymous TRAITOR (8) | QUISLING | G | U | PARQUETRY | Where a COAT (5) might grow | PARKA TREE |
| Record of a PURCHASE (5) | RECEIPT | I | B | SYLLABUS | Vehicle taken to WHIRLPOOL (6) counterpart | SCYLLA BUS |
| Sports BROADCASTER (6) | COMMENTATOR | N | S | LACKADAISICAL | Are without a FARM tool that works while the sun shines (9) | LACK A DAY SICKLE |
| POWER (3) relative to a base | LOGARITHM | G | E | COMMENTATOR | Ordinary SPUD (5) | COMMON TATER |
| London COPPER (7) group | CONSTABULARY | B | A | HYDRATE | Cost of a PELT (5) | HIDE RATE |
| Acrobatic TUMBLE (8) | SOMERSAULT | U | S | QUISLING | Young TEST (4) | QUIZLING |
| Add WATER (3) to | HYDRATE | D | H | BRANDISH | CEREAL (8) holder | BRAN DISH |
| THREAD (1) carried by a shuttle | WEFT | W | O | SOMERSAULT | SEASONING (2) for an adder | SUMMER SALT |
| Large Scottish SWORD (8) | CLAYMORE | E | R | TICKERTAPE | Makeshift WATCHBAND (6) | TICKER TAPE |
| Not exhibiting ENTHUSIASM (8) | LACKADAISICAL | I | E | RECEIPT | USHER (2) again | RE-SEAT |
| WAVE (7) in a menacing way | BRANDISH | S | U | RACONTEUR | Traveling spice STAND (8) | RACK ON TOUR |
| Behaving like a BOOR (8) | IMPOLITE | E | S | SHELLFISH | Like part of a BOOKCASE (1) | SHELF-ISH |
| Person who's good with a STORY (1) | RACONTEUR | R | E | EYESTRAIN | GLACIER (1) locomotive | ICE TRAIN |
Then, put the spelled-out words into the definition shells at the bottom of the puzzle, to get:
STUFF for AGING BUDWEISER | GOLF CLUB for SEASHORE USE |
The one-word answer that fits in both a standard and a wacky way is BEECHWOOD (BEACH WOOD), which is the answer to the puzzle.