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Magically Delicious

The Quest Coast

Well, you never would imagine where those Koobler biscuits originate. It's a surprisingly rigorous process for an autonomous elfin cookie collective: each elf is responsible for R&D'ing one type of cookie, which they then ask others to replicate based on limited and sometimes minimal instructions. (Better make sure everyone's keeping their skills sharp!) Ultimately, these cookies become part of a blind taste test where cookies are ranked from best to worst based on a number of criteria, including accuracy, texture, and of course, flavor.

While all the elves had to follow precise instructions, they could alter the recipe just enough to use their own flavor and batch size. This taste-test theme was "Fantasy," and boy, did the bakers deliver!

The cookies they made:

Not everyone could win. But technically, that's the way the cookie crumbles.

  1. With 12 participants, there were a lot of cookies – 82 dozen, to be precise:
    1. There were 9 different batch sizes, with some elves baking the same quantity as others.
      1. Two elves baked only 1 dozen each.
      2. Four other elves in two pairs, with each pair baking a different number of cookies, baked 22 dozen cookies in total.
    2. The iconoclastic elf who made 5 dozen cookies was the only one not to make a quantity of dozens that shared a common factor with the number 12. (Other than 1, obviously.)
  2. The elven kitchen was fully stocked with a wide range of ingredients sourced from their organic gardens: almonds, ginger, nectarines, orange zest, rose water, and even Scotch bonnet peppers. Some elves brought ingredients of their own, though, and every elf chose a different ingredient.
  3. Liam, who made more than 1 dozen nectarine serpent stripes, but fewer than 9 dozen, sadly came in last place.
  4. Diana came in fourth on her bake of the only cookie named after a creature that's famous for mischief-making.
  5. Lottie was crestfallen to hear she came in next-to-last with her Entmoot lebkuchen. "I know I took a risk with ouzo," she said, "but it seemed like such a natural fit. Oh well."
  6. Alvin and Candice made the same number of cookies and both placed in the top half of the taste-test. But Candice was a full three places below Briony's fudge lembas.
  7. The elf who placed third with the Nutella rubies baked two dozen more cookies than the one who made gorgonos.
  8. Two elves used floral flavors – one the rose water, another the elderflower cordial – but only one landed in the top half of participants; the other, Crystelle, ended up in eighth place.
  9. The elf who used ginger was the only one to make exactly 9 dozen ginger cookies – a lot, but they just missed first place, so they must have been good.
  10. Crystelle was docked (but not down to last place) for her use of sprinkles with illegal red dye. "You can't have a sugar cookie without good sprinkles!" she protested. But after the taste-test, Elven Trading Standards still binned all 16 dozen cookies she'd made.
  11. Alvin insisted on Irish cream liqueur for his 1 dozen cookies. "The creature my cookie is named after isn't Irish," he said, "but nothing else gives the filling that silky texture."
  12. Rosie's bat bites used star anise.
  13. Jason's 8 dozen espresso witchy wiles came in one place shy of the 1 dozen rose water basilisk spines.
  14. Diana zested every orange in the kitchen for her 10 dozen cookies. "Got too ambitious," she said later. "Would you believe only me, Crystelle, and Brendan made at least this many cookies?"
  15. Jonathan, Lottie, and Glenn combined – with two of them making the same odd-numbered quantity – made as many cookies as Brendan's 12 dozen niphredil bouquets. Jonathan did best in the taste-test, landing in third, with Glenn, Brendan, and Lottie following behind in that order, though none of the four were in consecutive places.
  16. Alvin and Candice made cookies named after living creatures who can turn you to stone just by looking at you. But Alvin, whose cookie was alphabetically after Candice's, did better than her.
  17. Glenn, who'd made 6 dozen cookies, later bemoaned his choice of Scotch bonnet peppers. "An animal with fangs, it's got to have a bite," he said after coming in seventh. "But I guess it wasn't good enough."
  18. Jason and Liam both made the same number of cookies, but Jason did six places better than Liam.