Solution to Title of the Puzzle

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by Alan Huang

Each of the entries in this puzzle is a rephrasing of a piece of fictional dialogue, in the style of “Title of the Song” or this quote. The originals are as follows:

The Cat in the Hat Cat in the Hat: Why do you sit there like that? Cat in the Hat: I know it is wet And the sun is not sunny. But we can have Lots of good fun that is funny! Cat in the Hat: I know some good games we could play. Cat in the Hat: I know some new tricks. Cat in the Hat: A lot of good tricks. I will show them to you. Your mother Will not mind at all if I do. Fish: No! No! Make that cat go away! Tell that Cat in the Hat You do not want to play. He should not be here. He should not be about. He should not be here When your mother is out! Cat in the Hat: Now! Now! Have no fear. Have no fear! Cat in the Hat: My tricks are not bad. Cat in the Hat: Why, we can have Lots of good fun, if you wish, With a game that I call Up-up-up with a fish! Fish: Put me down! Fish: This is no fun at all! Put me down! Fish: I do not wish to fall!

Mulan, “I’ll Make a Man Out of You” Chien Po: I’m never gonna catch my breath Yao: Say goodbye to those who knew me Ling: Boy, was I a fool in school for cutting gym Mushu: This guy’s got ‘em scared to death Mulan: Hope he doesn’t see right through me Chien Po: Now I really wish that I knew how to swim chorus: Be a man Li Shang: We must be swift as the coursing river chorus: Be a man Li Shang: With all the force of a great typhoon chorus: Be a man Li Shang: With all the strength of a raging fire Li Shang: Mysterious as the dark side of the moon

Star Wars: Episode III – Revenge of the Sith Obi-Wan Kenobi: It’s over, Anakin. I have the high ground. Darth Vader: You underestimate my power! Obi-Wan Kenobi: Don’t try it. Obi-Wan Kenobi: You were the chosen one! It was said that you would destroy the Sith, not join them! Bring balance to the Force, not leave it in darkness. Darth Vader: I HATE YOU!!! Obi-Wan Kenobi: You were my brother, Anakin... I loved you.

The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring Frodo Baggins: I will take the Ring to Mordor, though I do not know the way. Gandalf: I will help you bear this burden, Frodo Baggins, as long as it is yours to bear. Aragorn: If by my life or death I can protect you, I will. You have my sword. Legolas: And you have my bow. Gimli: And my axe. Boromir: You carry the fate of us all, little one. If this is indeed the will of the Council, then Gondor will see it done. Samwise Gamgee: Hey! Mr. Frodo’s not going anywhere without me! Elrond: No, indeed, it is hardly possible to separate you, even when he is summoned to a secret council, and you are not. Meriadoc Brandybuck: Wait, we’re coming too! You’ll have to send us home tied up in a sack to stop us! Peregrin Took: Anyway, you need people of intelligence on this sort of mission... quest... thing. Meriadoc Brandybuck: Well, that rules you out, Pip. Elrond: Nine companions. So be it. You shall be the Fellowship of the Ring. Peregrin Took: Great! Where are we going?

Titanic Rose DeWitt Bukater: Hello, Jack. I changed my mind. They said you might be up here, b... Jack Dawson: Shhh. Give me your hand. Now close your eyes. Go on, step up. Now hold on to the railing. Keep your eyes closed. Don’t peek. Rose DeWitt Bukater: I’m not. Jack Dawson: Step up onto the rail. Hold on, hold on. Keep your eyes closed. Do you trust me? Rose DeWitt Bukater: I trust you. Jack Dawson: All right. Open your eyes! Rose DeWitt Bukater: I’m flying, Jack!

Romeo and Juliet, Act 1, Scene 1 Abraham: Do you bite your thumb at us, sir? Sampson: I do bite my thumb, sir. Abraham: Do you bite your thumb at us, sir? Sampson: Is the law of our side, if I say ay? Gregory: No. Sampson: No, sir, I do not bite my thumb at you, sir, but I bite my thumb, sir. Gregory: Do you quarrel, sir? Abraham: Quarrel sir! no, sir. Sampson: If you do, sir, I am for you: I serve as good a man as you. Abraham: No better. Sampson: Well, sir. Gregory: Say ‘better:’ here comes one of my master’s kinsmen. Sampson: Yes, better, sir. Abraham: You lie. Sampson: Draw, if you be men. Gregory, remember thy swashing blow.

The Princess Bride Inigo Montoya: Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die. Inigo Montoya: Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die. Inigo Montoya: Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die. Count Rugen: Stop saying that! Inigo Montoya: Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die. Count Rugen: No! Inigo Montoya: Offer me money! Count Rugen: Yes! Inigo Montoya: Power, too, promise me that! Count Rugen: All that I have and more! Please! Inigo Montoya: Offer me everything I ask for! Count Rugen: Anything you want... Inigo Montoya: I want my father back, you son of a bitch.

Hamilton, “Yorktown (The World Turned Upside Down)” chorus: The Battle of Yorktown, 1781 Marquis de Lafayette: Monsieur Hamilton Alexander Hamilton: Monsieur Lafayette Marquis de Lafayette: In command where you belong Alexander Hamilton: How you say, no sweat We’re finally on the field, we’ve had quite a run both: Immigrants... we get the job done Alexander Hamilton: So what happens if we win? Marquis de Lafayette: I go back to France I bring freedom to my people, if I’m given the chance Alexander Hamilton: We’ll be with you when you do Marquis de Lafayette: Go lead your men Alexander Hamilton: See you on the other side Marquis de Lafayette: Till we meet again

Taking the initials replaced by question marks:

  • Fish
  • Li Shang
  • Obi-Wan Kenobi
  • Elrond
  • Rose DeWitt Bukater
  • Gregory
  • Inigo Montoya; Count Rugen
  • Marquis de Lafayette
produces the answer FLOWER GIRL.

Author’s Notes

The overall flow of this puzzle is based on Plotlines, because I have been trying for years to live up to the incredible puzzles in the Katamari round. Several attempts can be found in this hunt (and one more didn’t make it in).

The following were cut from the puzzle. Can you identify them?

[Patriotic musical interlude at RB’s establishment] HS: Anti-revolutionary sentiment; demand for police action veiled as request LR: Surprised retort HS: Firm declaration that fun is disallowed LR: Indignant retort HS: Ultimatum [Mutual vacating of seats] LR: Concession to ultimatum; general evacuation decree RB: Appeal for justification LR: Obviously just-invented excuse [Acceptance of currency] LR: Gratitude; resumption of anti-fun instructions

[Roadside idleness] E: Exhortation to move V: Refusal E: Inquiry V: Title drop E: Anguished exclamation