Balloon Vendor

The Balloon Merchant's Gambit

Life-sized chess pieces stand on a giant chessboard that's been painted on the ground, but some vandal has scrawled graffiti all over it! A balloon merchant standing by some of the pieces attracts your attention.

White 1: I'll open things up with the Tavern Commencement
Black 1: This move is called the Thinking Machine Blitz
White 2: I'll counter with the Tokarev Pistol Bluff
Black 2: It's all been pawn moves so far, but now it's time for my knight. Two steps in one direction, then one in another. I doubt you've seen this before; the Concept Deception
White 3: Let's see what you make of the Psychic Power Cannon
Black 3: Not a problem for the Lovelace Contrivance
White 4: Time to bring one of my knights into this. I call this move the Tiny Chessman Drive
Black 4: See if you can handle the Rank Charge
White 5: Are you ready for my rook? This is the Affirmative Coercion
Black 5: Clearly I am! First blood to me with the Broadcast Receivers Feint
White 6: A minor setback! The capturing piece is now captured, thanks to the Slippery Fish Dodge
Black 6: Time for a bit of defense with the Hindi Honorific Crossing / Knight's Honorific Crossing
White 7: Hmm, hiding your king away? It won't help. I'm coming for you with the Proven Cheat
Black 7: Can you deal with Grandmaster Capablanca's Homeland Defense?
White 8: This will get you for sure; the Schnoz Deceit
Black 8: Not counting anything captured, the only pieces to move beyond the row they started in are pawns and knights. Time to change that with the Spanish Gold Conspiracy
White 9: And now another capture for me, courtesy of the Russian Affirmative Barrage
Black 9: Another for me as well. It never fails, the Verdi Opera Deterrence
White 10: Ha! My last move cleared the way for this; another capture! Classic example of the Workshop Foray
Black 10: And a capture for me as well. Don't gloat; we're dead even on material with Grandmaster Wesley's Blunder
White 11: Nice move, but you didn't reckon on the Toboggan Decoy
Black 11: I don't think you can handle the Neighbor Doublecross
White 12: Now watch out for Appropriate Chicanery
Black 12: Easily managed with the Mayday Collision
White 13: You won't get away from the Candy -Caps Crossfire
Black 13: Here's a clever little move; the Fryer Counterattack
White 14: This is known as the Astonishment Crusade
Black 14: This line of attack is the British Bum Disputation
White 15: Bad move for you; time to take your knight. I'm deploying the Enjoy Food Dupe
Black 15: And now it's my turn to capture. I've been looking for a chance to use the Second Note Booby-trap
White 16: Neither of our queens has moved yet. Time to fix that with the Slangy Sweetie Confederacy
Black 16: This is a perfect set-up for the America Bombardment
White 17: I see your bishop threatening my rook. Let me move this pawn to protect it. Consider yourself warned, this is the 550 Barricade
Black 17: I'll just capture that pawn instead. You have no chance against the Slowpoke Error
White 18: I bet you weren't expecting the Afterthought Blindside
Black 18: Time for the big guns; the Lousy Cover
White 19: This move never lets me down, the Chess Rating System Chase
Black 19: I knew I'd get your rook in the end! You opened the way for the Stalemates Engagement
White 20: I better get my king mobile before it's too late. Fortunately I know the Oakland Team Bait-and-switch
Black 20: Another capture for me. This is the Omaha State Bulwark
White 21: Checkmate!