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By Greg Pliska
Answer: MOROCCO

Each sentence can be completed (phonetically) with the name of a world capital.

Sentence Capital Index Letter Country
“For makin’ me run ’round and ’round like a caged ’amster, damn you!” cried Eliza Doolittle. AMSTERDAM 6 R Netherlands
In Alien, does the android Ash go bad at some point, or is he evil from the start? ASHGABAT 3 H Tajikistan
Alexander Graham Bell grayed just like any other aging man. BELGRADE 4 G Serbia
Do you prefer Rip, Laurence or Burl in the role of Big Daddy? BERLIN 4 L Germany
When disguised as Women from U.N.C.L.E., Napoleon wears the bras Ilya picks out for him. BRASILIA 3 A Brazil
“Stop reading! Give that book a rest!” BUCHAREST 2 U Romania
Generally speaking, only a mammal can bear a live offspring. CANBERRA 1 C Canberra
I love that Rasta-disco hit, “Shake Jah Booty.” DJIBOUTI 3 I Djibouti
“I won the bet! So there! I collect all the dough! Hah!” DOHA 4 A Qatar
During a pause in the Lilliput uprising, while the leader of the coup waits, itty-bitty soldiers plot a counteroffensive. KUWAIT CITY 10 Y Kuwait
Has Liz been retired completely, or will Tina bring back her 30 Rock character? LISBON 4 B Portugal
When things get rowdy in the perfume factory, the employees throw ambergris and musk at each other. MUSCAT 2 U Oman
Jodie Foster wanted Contact to get a PG rating, so she cut all the nude Ellie scenes. NEW DEHLI 8 I India
If you want your hair grey, with a tinge of brown, pour taupe rinse over it. PORT-AU-PRINCE 11 C Haiti
To pry a door open, use a crowbar. PRAIA 1 P Cabo Verde
For breakdowns south of Ramrod Key, tow trucks won’t bring you back to Miami. QUITO 4 T Ecuador
That club is a real meat market, where the guys just wanna scope ya out. SKOPJE 4 S Macedonia
Congweve is cwedited wiv writing, “Music has charms to soov a savage bwest.” SUVA 4 A Fiji
For my new reggae-rap single, I’m sampling Peter Tosh, Kent Jones, and, of course, Bob Marley. TASHKENT 1 T Uzbekistan
“Don’t bogart that joint, homie! Gimme another toke, yo!” TOKYO 1 T Japan
Seychelles and Greece are the only triple-E countries. TRIPOLI 3 I Libya

Solvers should index into the capital city, then order by country name (A-U):

CANBERRA 1 C Australia
BRASILIA 3 A Brazil
PRAIA 1 P Cabo Verde
DJIBOUTI 3 I Djibouti
QUITO 4 T Ecuador
SUVA 4 A Fiji
BERLIN 4 L Germany
PORT-AU-PRINCE 11 C Haiti
NEW DELHI 8 I India
TOKYO 1 T Japan
KUWAIT CITY 10 Y Kuwait
TRIPOLI 3 I Libya
SKOPJE 1 S Macedonia
AMSTERDAM 6 R Netherlands
MUSCAT 2 U Oman
LISBON 4 B Portugal
DOHA 4 A Qatar
BUCHAREST 2 U Romania
BELGRADE 4 G Serbia
ASHGABAT 3 H Tajikistan
TASHKENT 1 T Uzbekistan

This gives the message CAPITAL CITY IS RUB AUGHT, which, phonetically, translates to RABAT, the capital of MOROCCO, which is the puzzle answer.