Solution - Meet the Loremipsumstanis

by Craig Kasper

Answer: Click here to reveal

The "text" presented consists of biographical excerpts about specific people from various sources on the web, with all letters within the text individually replaced by letters from Lorem Ipsum text obtained from the Bacon Ipsum generator. Capitalization, spacing, and all non-alphabetic characters have been preserved in the output. Italicization has also been preserved where it existed in the source; the biography sourced from MTV is the only one which didn't follow usual practice in this regard.

Each well-known person profiled in this way has a Bacon number as defined and described by the Oracle of Bacon. Identifying the people profiled in this way, then indexing into their given names by Bacon number, yields the phrase NEARLY SELL OSCAR, which is a wordplay half of a cryptic clue. The bolded characters, de-Lorem-Ipsum-ized as appropriate, form the other half: FOR THESPIAN (4 4). The answer to the cryptic clue (and the puzzle) is SELA WARD (SELL - L + AWARD).

DAN RATHER has a Bacon number of 3, yielding an N

In the 1960s and '70s he became one of the most recognizable figures in the national news media, with his solid coverage of the major stories of that tumultuous era, the civil rights movement, the Vietnam War and the Watergate scandal. In 1975 he earned a seat at the top news show, 60 Minutes, but gave it up in 1981 to replace Walter Cronkite as anchor of the CBS Evening News, the top job in American broadcast journalism. In 1988 he also began hosting the CBS news show, 48 Hours.


LEBRON JAMES has a Bacon number of 2, yielding an E

...through his Foundation, he is also delivering on his promise to his high school alma mater, St.Vincent-St. Mary, to rebuild the gymnasium and outfit all student-athletes with brand new Nike uniforms...he and his Foundation also work regularly with the Boys and Girls Clubs of America, renovating a local Boys and Girls Club in every All-Star host city each year, an initiative that began in 2008 in New Orleans and continues today...has endorsement partnerships with Nike, 2K Sports, Audemars Piguet, Beats by Dre, Coca-Cola, Dunkin' Brands, McDonald's, Samsung, Tencent, and Upper Deck...his animated web series "The LeBrons" is in its second season on YouTube...


BARACK OBAMA has a Bacon number of 2, yielding an A

With a father from Kenya and a mother from Kansas, President Obama was born in Hawaii on August 4, 1961. He was raised with help from his grandfather, who served in Patton's army, and his grandmother, who worked her way up from the secretarial pool to middle management at a bank.


He went on to attend law school, where he became the first African-American president of the Harvard Law Review. Upon graduation, he returned to Chicago to help lead a voter registration drive, teach constitutional law at the University of Chicago, and remain active in his community.


REBA MCENTIRE has a Bacon number of 1, yielding an R

But McEntire's success as a recording artist represents only part of her story. In 1988, she founded Starstruck Entertainment, a multi-dimensional corporation encompassing booking, management, music publishing, a recording studio, and transportation services. She has starred in films, in her own hit TV comedy series (Reba) from 2001 to 2007, and on Broadway in the title role of a hit musical (a 2001 revival of Annie Get Your Gun).


SALLY RIDE has a Bacon number of 3, yielding an L

Dr. Ride was selected as an astronaut candidate by NASA in January 1978. In August 1979, she completed a one-year training and evaluation period, making her eligible for assignment as a Mission Specialist on future space shuttle flight crews. She subsequently performed as an on-orbit Capsule Communicator (CAPCOM) on the STS-2 and STS-3 missions.

Dr. Ride was a Mission Specialist on STS-7, which launched from Kennedy Space Center, Florida, on June 18, 1983. She was accompanied by Captain Robert L. Crippen (spacecraft commander), Captain Frederick H. Hauck (pilot), and fellow Mission Specialists, Colonel John M. Fabian and Dr. Norman E. Thagard. This was the second flight for the orbiter Challenger and the first mission with a five-person crew.


TYRONE POWER has a Bacon number of 2, yielding a Y

Tyrone Power was one of the great romantic swashbuckling stars of the mid-twentieth century, and the third Tyrone Power of four in a famed acting dynasty reaching back to the eighteenth century. His great-grandfather was the first Tyrone Power (1795-1841), a famed Irish comedian. His father, known to historians as Tyrone Power Sr., but to his contemporaries as either Tyrone Power or Tyrone Power the Younger, was a huge star in the theater (and later in films) in both classical and modern roles. His mother, Helen Emma "Patia" (née Reaume), (Mrs. Tyrone Power), was also a Shakespearean actress as well as a respected dramatic coach.

Tyrone Edmund Power, Jr., (also called Tyrone Power III) was born at his mother's home of Cincinnati, Ohio, in 1914. His ancestry included English, Irish, German, French Huguenot, and French-Canadian.


STEVE MARTIN has a Bacon number of 1, yielding an S

Steve Martin got started as a zany and absurdist stand-up comedian in the 1970s, when his comedy albums like Let's Get Small (1977) were big hits; his punch line "Excuuuuse me" became a pop culture catch-phrase. He was also a favorite recurring guest host on Saturday Night Live for many years. In the 1980s he began starring in mainstream movie comedies like Parenthood (1989) and Father of the Bride (1991, co-starring Diane Keaton, with a sequel in 1995).


HELEN KELLER has a Bacon number of 4, yielding an E

On April 5, 1887, less than a month after her arrival in Tuscumbia, Anne sought to resolve the confusion her pupil was having between the nouns "mug" and "milk," which Helen confused with the verb "drink."

Anne took Helen to the water pump outside and put Helen's hand under the spout. As the cool water gushed over one hand, she spelled into the other hand the word "w-a-t-e-r" first slowly, then rapidly. Suddenly, the signals had meaning in Helen's mind. She knew that "water" meant the wonderful cool substance flowing over her hand.


SLIM PICKENS has a Bacon number of 2, yielding an L

Slim Pickens was born Louis Bert Lindley Jr. in Kingsburg, California, on June 29, 1919. He started entering rodeos at 14, much to his father's dismay. To hide his activities, Pickens entered under a different name every week. One day, he asked "the feller in charge of the rodeo" to give him a good name and the man said, "Kid, why don't you sign up as Slim Pickens, `cause that's what it's gonna be!" And the nickname stuck.


ALICE COOPER has a Bacon number of 2, yielding an L

The roots of Alice Cooper extend back to Cortez High School in Phoenix, Arizona, where the core members came together as music aficionados with a shared yen for the macabre and surreal. They weren't necessarily alienated misfits, as three members of the Earwigs – the first group in the Alice Cooper lineage – were high-school track stars who ranked among the fastest milers in the state. Dunaway, original drummer John Speer and Alice Cooper himself (known as Vince Furnier to his friends) could run a 4:30 mile, according to Cooper. Renaming themselves the Spiders, they scored a regional hit with "Don't Blow Your Mind." They changed names again to the Nazz and moved to Hollywood in 1968 with the idea of making it nationally.


JOHNNY WEISMULLER has a Bacon number of 2, yielding an O

Weissmuller set many world records and won 5 gold medals in two Olympics (1924 and 1928). He never lost a race in 10 years of amateur swimming in distances from 50 yards to 1/2 mile. Johnny's 51 seconds 100 yard freestyle record set June 5, 1927, in the University of Michigan Union Pool stood for 17 years until it was broken by Alan Ford at Yale in 1944.


ASHTON KUTCHER has a Bacon number of 2, yielding an S

...He most recently appeared in the title role as Apple co-founder Steve Jobs in the biopic Jobs (2013).

Ashton, who lives in Los Angeles, married actress Demi Moore, almost 16 years his senior, on September 24, 2005. In 2011, Demi filed for divorce after Ashton was publicly outed for cheating on her.

He married his former That '70s Show co-star, Mila Kunis on July 6, 2015, and they have a daughter together, called Wyatt.


JACKIE ROBINSON has a Bacon number of 3, yielding a C

The impact Robinson made on Major League Baseball is one that will be forever remembered. On April 15 each season, every team in the majors celebrates Jackie Robinson Day in honor of when he truly broke the color barrier in baseball, becoming the first African-American player in the 20th century to take the field in the big leagues.


Robinson joined the Montreal Royals, the Dodgers top farm team, in 1946 and led the International League with a .349 average and 40 stolen bases.


HARLAND SANDERS has a Bacon number of 2, yielding an A

Kentucky Fried Chicken went public in 1966 and was listed on the New York Stock Exchange in 1969. More than 3,500 franchised and company-owned restaurants were in worldwide operation when Heublein Inc. acquired KFC Corporation in 1971for $285 million. KFC became a subsidiary of R.J. Reynolds Industries, Inc. (now RJR Nabisco, Inc.), when Heublein Inc. was acquired by Reynolds in 1982. KFC was acquired in October 1986 from RJR Nabisco, Inc. by PepsiCo, Inc., for approximately $840 million.


GRACE KELLY has a Bacon number of 2, yielding an R

An icon of Hollywood elegance and beauty, Grace Kelly won a best actress Oscar in 1954 for The Country Girl (in which she was the long-suffering wife of an alcoholic actor played by Bing Crosby). She is still better known for playing the gorgeous, reserved blonde in three Alfred Hitchcock films: Dial M for Murder (1954), Rear Window (1954, with Jimmy Stewart) and To Catch a Thief (1955, with Cary Grant).