by Robyn Speer

The clues give anagrams of Mystery Hunt team names plus a letter. The blanks appear alphabetically by team name; you need to figure out which blanks go with which clues, and the extra letters in clue order spell "CALL IN A SUPERIOR CLUE FOR YOUR TEAM; DON'T ANSWER IT."

Calling in a valid clue for their team name, which we can solve at HQ and consider sufficiently good, earns the team the answer to the puzzle, GERALD J FORD.

• [C] Montague rival = CAPULET = Up Late + C
• [A] His superpower is that he can make anything into a terrible arrangement for unaccompanied voices = SHITTY A CAPPELLA MAN = Metaphysical Plant + A
• [L] As the greatest competitors on Earth run, swim and bike their way around the 100-sided course, a spectator shouts "Hey!" = INTERJECTION AT THE WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP HECTAGON TRIATHLON = PART I: NON-CONTRADICTION; CHAPTER I: THE THEME 'Who is John Galt?'... + L
• [L] Where you'll find a nebulous Zero Mostel = VAGUELY IN FIDDLER ON THE ROOF = Grand Unified Theory of Love + L
• [I] They order a lot of food from Bertucci's and then discard whatever they don't like = PIZZA CULLERS = Cal Puzzlers + I
• [N] When you fail to stack your dishes in the cupboard in the proper Russian way, this happens = KITCHEN TETRIS TUMBLE = Better Luck This Time + N
• [A] Proprietary information is oozing from your nipples = LACTATING TRADE SECRETS = Galactic Trendsetters + A
• [S] Plant lice = APHIDS = ADPhi + S
• [U] Substantial delay, possibly due to Fezzik attempting a robbery = GIANT HOLDUP = Plaid Thong + U
• [P] People who fucking love that stuff between floor tiles = PROFANE GROUT FANS = Fangorn Foureast + P
• [E] At a rival school, everyone can hear you fail = CALTECH AMPLIFIES F = Metaphiscal Cliff + E
• [R] Parent who doesn't believe in the golden tablets = NON-MORMON MOM = Om Nom Nom Nom + R
• [I] My brain is full of thunder = STORM IN MY HEAD = Random Thymes + I
• [O] When Goodyear's agents infiltrate Michelin = TIRE ESPIONAGE = Eigenpirates + O
• [R] Beware of prejudice and pride = WARNING: REVERSE AUSTEN = Strange New Universe, A + R
• [C] When that guy tells stories about adventurers over a pulsating electronic beat and a Roland supersaw, a good time is had by all = TRANCE BARD IS SO MUCH FUN = Frumious Bandersnatch + C
• [L] Picture captioned "I CAN HAZ SPARKLINES?" = LOL-TUFTE = Left Out + L
• [U] Your getaway boat should be as close as possible when you rob the beachhouse -- check where the shoreline is = BURGLE AT HIGH TIDE = Light Brigade, The + U
• [E] A sometime Stooge after being knighted = SIR SHEMP = shrimps + E
• [F] Mushrooms growing in the bottom of a building = BASEMENT FUNGI = Unseen Gambit + F
• [O] Stay out of the way of a looney devil = AVOID TAZ = DataViz + O
• [R] Quick summary of what happened to an overbuilt casino = TOO LARGE; TORN DOWN = Too Long; Won't Read + R
• [Y] He's 70 years old and he's not keeping up with most of the Institute requirements = OLD MAN GENERALLY FAILING AT MIT = Illegal, Immoral, and Fattening + Y
• [O] Garfield never had to get up and go to work, so this made no sense = HE HATED MONDAY A.M. = Death and Mayhem + O
• [U] Be like a zombie and re-do Halloween = EMULATE ROB = Meteor Lab + U
• [R] The Sages won't win this, and neither will the Thymes = ROSEMARY CONTEST = Setec Astronomy + R
• [T] You can pull them out to determine distances up to this long: —— = TWO-EM TAPE MEASURES = Super Team Awesome + T
• [E] After that, Mr. Fry realized he was actually in Istanbul = STEPHEN ARRIVED AT CONSTANTINOPLE = Providence Transplantations, The + E
• [A] Is she a detective or a thief? I'm kind of confused by the name on the door = ROBIN BANK, P.I. = Pink Ribbon + A
• [M] Indie hipsters already know these won't be as good as Funeral = THE NEXT RELEASES FROM ARCADE FIRE = Left as an Exercise for the Reader + M
• [D] Sorry, MIT doesn't admit marine mammals = A DOLPHIN APPLIES = Alpha Epsilon Pi + D
• [O] Doubtful question for American FIFA watchers = IS SOCCER RELEVANT? = Central Services + O
• [N] Decide there is definitely no God and have a great time = ENJOY FULL ATHEISM = Family Joules, The + N
• [T] Eh, let's solve puzzles later when round 4 comes out = PROCRASTINATE INTO INDY = Insanity Incorporated + T
• [A] Hendrix turns his song about LSD into a less colorful song about distributed computing; what it means depends on the circumstances = CONTEXTUAL CLOUD HAZE = Codex Zouche-Nuttall + A
• [N] One who is inexperienced at carrying things on a stage = PROP NOOB = RoboPop + N
• [S] Organizational "system" for my desk = RANDOM PILES = Palindrome + S
• [W] Haven't the Northern Lights looked odd these days? = SUCH CURIOUS AURORAS NOW = Raucous Raucous Rhinos + W
• [E] "Computer, here is a declarative definition of widgets. How many wigdets are there?" "false" = PROLOG COUNTER = Control Group + E
• [R] Mathematical assumption that there exists a 10,000 PPI display = VERY SMALL PIXEL AXIOM = Maximally Explosive + R
• [I] Reporters in Tehran intend to give up = IRAN PRESS WILL RESIGN = Sleipnir's Wranglers + I
• [T] You could use it to fasten a wheel on a blimp = DIRIGIBLE LUG NUT = Uglier Building + T

Here are the clues sorted by team name, which is how the blanks appear in the puzzle:

• ADPhi + S: APHIDS
• Alpha Epsilon Pi + D: A DOLPHIN APPLIES
• Better Luck This Time + N: KITCHEN TETRIS TUMBLE
• Cal Puzzlers + I: PIZZA CULLERS
• Central Services + O: IS SOCCER RELEVANT?
• Codex Zouche-Nuttall + A: CONTEXTUAL CLOUD HAZE
• Control Group + E: PROLOG COUNTER
• DataViz + O: AVOID TAZ
• Death and Mayhem + O: HE HATED MONDAY A.M.
• Eigenpirates + O: TIRE ESPIONAGE
• Family Joules, The + N: ENJOY FULL ATHEISM
• Fangorn Foureast + P: PROFANE GROUT FANS
• Frumious Bandersnatch + C: TRANCE BARD IS SO MUCH FUN
• Galactic Trendsetters + A: LACTATING TRADE SECRETS
• Grand Unified Theory of Love + L: VAGUELY IN FIDDLER ON THE ROOF
• Illegal, Immoral, and Fattening + Y: OLD MAN GENERALLY FAILING AT MIT
• Insanity Incorporated + T: PROCRASTINATE INTO INDY
• Left as an Exercise for the Reader + M: THE NEXT RELEASES FROM ARCADE FIRE
• Left Out + L: LOL-TUFTE
• Light Brigade, The + U: BURGLE AT HIGH TIDE
• Maximally Explosive + R: VERY SMALL PIXEL AXIOM
• Metaphiscal Cliff + E: CALTECH AMPLIFIES F
• Metaphysical Plant + A: SHITTY A CAPPELLA MAN
• Meteor Lab + U: EMULATE ROB
• Om Nom Nom Nom + R: NON-MORMON MOM
• Palindrome + S: RANDOM PILES
• PART I: NON-CONTRADICTION; CHAPTER I: THE THEME 'Who is John Galt?'... + L: INTERJECTION AT THE WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP HECTAGON TRIATHLON
• Pink Ribbon + A: ROBIN BANK, P.I.
• Plaid Thong + U: GIANT HOLDUP
• Providence Transplantations, The + E: STEPHEN ARRIVED AT CONSTANTINOPLE
• Random Thymes + I: STORM IN MY HEAD
• Raucous Raucous Rhinos + W: SUCH CURIOUS AURORAS NOW
• RoboPop + N: PROP NOOB
• Setec Astronomy + R: ROSEMARY CONTEST
• shrimps + E: SIR SHEMP
• Sleipnir's Wranglers + I: IRAN PRESS WILL RESIGN
• Strange New Universe, A + R: WARNING: REVERSE AUSTEN
• Super Team Awesome + T: TWO-EM TAPE MEASURES
• Too Long; Won't Read + R: TOO LARGE; TORN DOWN
• Uglier Building + T: DIRIGIBLE LUG NUT
• Unseen Gambit + F: BASEMENT FUNGI
• Up Late + C: CAPULET