O Blessed Day
si mundus hoc anno finem non habebit, tot festa celebranda erunt!
|hac die celebrantur dies natales duorum ducum qui hac die non nati sunt||hac die simiæ honorantur et ab aliquibus in hortibus zoologicis visitantur||hac die opificibus honoratis vestimenta alba geri desinunt||hac die propter lusciniæ diem natalem nosocomæ ubique honorantur|
|hæc dies sæpe non exstat||hac die potentissimus hominum aliquid fortissime sed læte, non irate, iacit||die post hanc diem vir solus ac inermis stetit, agmen vehiculorum militarium obstruens||hac die personati mittuntur liberi ut dulcia in viis petant||hac die focalia permulta donis dantur||hac die magistri donula a discipulis suis accipiunt||hac die crustis dulcibus rotundis consumptis mensuratio commemoratur|
|hac die omina hiemalia umbra accipiuntur||hac die illa res in qua etiam nunc, dilectissimi lectores lectricesque dilectissimæ, occupati estis incipit||hac die spoponderunt aliqui vitas, fortunas, honoremque sacrum suos||hac die interfectus est vir præclarus inter eos quorum lingua hæc sententia scripta est||hac die filiolæ ad officinas parentium suorum adducuntur||hac die loquuntur homines inter se miro modo, arrte haud historiæ fideli, tamquam prædones||hac die nihil ab aliquibus, qui societatem suam nimis avidam pecuniæ esse opinant, emitur|
|hac die Judæi pluviam et rorem, non tantum benedictionem, precibus suis cotidianis orare incipiunt||hac die constitutio sive suprema lex huius nationis subscripta est||hac die iuxta asserem robur post cenam monstratur||hac die laganum (id est species pastae in laminis cum caseo) celebratur, scilicet coquendo||hac die computatur ac disputatur quid sit numerus hominum in mundo viventium||hac die ipsissima alma terra commemoratur||hac die flumen apud urbem magnam viridi tingitur|
|hac die audierunt novissimi servi huius patriæ se iam liberatos esse||hac die vagantur cives Hiberniæ more personæ ex libro quodam dilectissimo||hac die de illis qui choream patiuntur et de morbo eorum cogitandum est||hac die inventio quædam huius continentis, aut illi populi qui iam aderant, commemoratur|
- A bishop in Germany, I was just minden’ my own business until I was killed in battle.
- A presidential assassin shares my name.
- Breton sources say I may have been the daughter of King Brychan of Wales; folks in my adoptive Brittany know me as Sainte Candide.
- Cause you know you can’t touch this, you can’t touch this ... doctrine of the Trinity!
- Even as a victim of vandalism, I constantly prayed for the vandals.
- Even though I’m dead, I’m still the King of Norway.
- I blinded myself to discourage a king’s interest, and then helped heal other blind people.
- I got called back to try to live up to the example of my two illustrious predecessors, living vicariously.
- I got extremely well educated in Constantinople (not Istanbul); after that ... well, I could tell you a Canterbury tale or two.
- I got the credit for inventing one of the world’s great musical traditions.
- I have the patronage of social workers.
- I made my island a less frightening place for Indiana Jones.
- I told Galileo he’d better stop teaching that the Earth goes around the Sun.
- I told Emperor Maurice he was in deep trouble—correctly, as it turned out. Then I saved Emperor Phocas’s nephew.
- I used incendiary doves as a weapon.
- I used to live at Cnobheresburg; how many of you can say that?
- I was extremely keen on giving charity; history does not record whether I also enjoyed waltzing.
- I’m the Old Man of the Sea’s namesake; I was martyred together with a fellow Roman.
- My experiences ran the whole gamut, but it was particularly sad about what happened to my brand-new cathedral...
- My husband was a farmer, yet I was the queen.
- My seven sons and I all suffered terrible fates, yet I was happy.
- Not just any deacon, I was a hierodeacon! My monastery’s namesake has patronage of eyesight, and I used to go evangelizing with my friend Wiro.
- Schisms made me sick. I helped mediate a compromise in Caspe.
- Some Arians beat me up; that did me in. Now my most famous relic is in Belgium, where I was the first bishop of my town.
- Some years ago—never mind how long precisely—I went off in search of Wales.
- Three hundred eighty-eighty years after I died, they found my bones in the town where I succeeded Bishop Acca. Better late than never!
- Watching my father kill a man was deeply distressing. I helped the Doge dodge his duties and pay homage in Catalonia. And I told the Emperor I wouldn’t serve on his staff anymore.
- You might think, from the sound of it, those travelers are praying for bad weather, but they’re actually just invoking my patronage. I did wander pretty far in my day, and I made it back to Pisa in one piece!
- You’ll see me in one of Prague’s main tourist attractions. The guy who canonized me cut ten days out of the year he did it.