Let's Put on a Hit
This isn’t working. We can’t manage to make a failed show. We just can’t! You tried it, I tried it, and we couldn’t make a show bomb. We’re all probably going to jail, but maybe, just maybe, we can still get out of this.
Let’s just try to make a successful show. That sounds simple enough. Just do what you’ve been doing, only better. (Or is it worse? No, better!) If we stop trying to fail, we’re going to succeed even more—right? There’s gotta be a chance!
Now I’m stumped on ideas for a headline song for this new show. Look at the song names from all of our old shows, and see if you can can figure out what made them so successful. Then use that knowledge to come up with a song title for our new SMASH HIT MUSICAL.
In case you forgot the titles of any of our songs, I’ve attached the full list to this letter.
Please make our money back.
You crazy little theater fools. You can’t do one simple little thing. Well, to make this show succeed, we can’t take any more chances. You’ve got to make sure the critics like it, or else!
We can still do this, you just gotta give the critics what they really want. You found what they don’t like—for all the good it did us—now find what they like. Make those idiots happy.
Let me be perfectly clear: I’m telling you the important thing now. To make the show succeed, you gotta BRIBE THE CRITICS! Figure out a way that we can get to them. Here’s a map to the theater: see if you can figure it out on your way over here.
The Critics Occupying Downtown EXpertly have been protesting for more and better musicals. But now, the protest has become so crowded that you have to snake your way across town. Luckily, every third block on your path across town has a good theater in it, like the one on the 60th block (in red). The total number of the theaters in each row and column are given. No touching your previous path (even diagonally); that’s not the way to make progress! Also note that you can’t pass through certain blocks due to the Occupy Broadway tents. Maybe if you make it across town, you’ll learn something on the way.
