Tax... in... Space

PAYMENT FORM

Dear citizen,
Thank you for your cooperation in preparing your galactic tax return. Just one citizen’s voluntary compliance with taxation requirements can save over ten million credits in bounty hunters and penal colonies. Life in all its fullness, as supplemented and explained by the Galactic Tax Code, must supply the answer to the riddle of how much tax you owe. Please do not pay by cash or money order. Note that all intermediate values must be expressible as an integral number of credits. If you find that your computations yield a fractional number of credits for any reason, please report immediately to the nearest soylent processing facility for repurposing.

Robotax due: _ _ Processing code: _ _ _ Tax due: _ _ _   _ _ _
[in hexadecimal] [See tables C1 & C2] [in decimal]

GALACTIC TAX CODE (fragment)

Section 61: Tax Owed:

Except as otherwise provided in this subtitle, tax is hereby due on all income from whatever source derived, and shall be computed as follows:

  1. Adjustments to adjustments to adjustments to adjustments to adjustments to income shall consist of one hundred times the sum of the trilithium recycling deduction and the final three digits of the capital loss carryforward, added to the phaser deduction.
  2. Adjustments to adjustments to adjustments to adjustments to income shall consist of the sum of the quantum normalized alternative minimum tax, the product of the trilithium recycling deduction and the phaser deduction phaseout threshold, and negative 20,345.
  3. Adjustments to adjustments to adjustments to income shall consist of the inverse hyperbolic quantum normalized alternative minimum tax, less twenty-four times the trilithium recycling deduction, less five times the illudium phosdex exploration quasi-credit. If adding one to the value so computed would change the number of zeroes it contains, proceed with the remainder of this tax return; otherwise, reset the universe to immediately before the Big Bang and start again from the beginning.
  4. Adjustments to adjustments to income shall consist of the trilithium recycling deduction, times eight, plus eleven, times eighteen, plus five, times twelve, minus sixteen times five times twenty-seven.
  5. Adjustments to income shall consist of the inverse hyperbolic quantum normalized alternative minimum tax, less interdimensional travel and entertainment expenses, if any, less the net relativistic hotchpot basis, less the trilithium recycling deduction.
    1. For purposes of the computation of adjustments to income only, and for no other purpose, the net relativistic hotchpot basis shall have its middlemost digit stricken.
      1. If said basis shall contain an even number of digits before said striking, “middlemost,” for purposes of this clause only, and for no other purpose, shall be defined to mean “first.”
      2. If said basis shall contain an odd number of digits before said striking, it shall be decreased by one, after said striking, but before any further computation.
    2. If interdimensional travel and entertainment expenses exceed 9,000, they shall be decreased by a further 5,000 for purposes of the computation of adjustments to income only, and for no other purpose.
    3. If the adjustments to income as computed in this subsection, including any modifications specified in clauses (1) and (2), would end in 0, any final 0s shall be stricken.
  6. The illudium phosdex exploration quasi-credit shall be equal to the sum of wages and tips, Capital Gains, lower-case gains, and income from the sale of bitcoins, less the amount of remote backup withholding, if any, except that if the illudium phosdex exploration quasi-credit so computed exceeds 200,000, the illudium phosdex exploration quasi-credit shall instead be equal to half of twice the Robocop statue construction checkoff.
  7. The alternative minimum tax shall be the base-10 value of the tuple (1,14,18,21,7,14) expressed in the base given by the minimum tax.
  8. The astro-yak razor replacement credit is the least multiple of 25,000 which exceeds one tenth of gross income.
  9. The capital loss carryforward shall be one less than the annual RP 73-13 exclusion, added to two to the power given by the sum of the first two digits of the annual RP 73-13 exclusion.
  10. Determine the fudge factor by appending the miscellaneous non-farm overhead adjustment to the vacuum reclamation enterprise zone credit.
    1. If the fudge factor would otherwise exceed 40,000,000 credits, reduce it modulo 3,100,635.
  11. Did you have an unmarked sandwich allowance? If so, you have engaged in a like-kind hovercopter exchange event and must compute the appropriate like-kind hovercopter exchange setoff. To do so, take the product of the vacuum reclamation enterprise zone credit and the miscellaneous non-farm overhead adjustment. If the number so computed is odd, multiply it by 7; otherwise, multiply the number so computed by 3.
    1. To avoid double-counting, subtract the amount of the unmarked sandwich allowance you are claiming from the like-kind hovercopter exchange setoff, but in no event reduce the like-kind hovercopter exchange setoff beneath 1,000.
    2. Neither clause (1) nor clause (3) shall apply if your gross income exceeds 10,000,000.
    3. Reduce the like-kind hovercopter exchange setoff by one-one-thousandth of the astro-yak razor replacement credit, if any.
    4. Clause (2) shall not apply in universes in which 4 is a prime number.
    5. If there are more than two zeroes in the like-kind hovercopter exchange setoff, after the application of all other clauses, delete one of them.
  12. Each taxpayer shall be allowed a phaser deduction equal to the difference of the quantum normalized alternative minimum tax and the annual RP 73-13 exclusion, less a 75,000-credit scaling factor, plus 260 credits.
  13. The flux capacitor discharge penalty is equal to the time dilation correction for your species, plus the velocity (expressed in miles per hour) required to activate the flux capacitor (Earth-standard E. Brown model).
  14. Gambling gains and losses:
    1. Allowable gambling gains shall be twelve times the sum of gambling losses and the square of gambling gains.
    2. Allowable gambling losses shall be twelve times the sum of gambling gains and the square of gambling losses.
    3. Gambling gains are the least whole number of credits greater than the quotient of modified net income over adjusted net income.
      1. In the event that said whole number is non-zero, it shall be further multiplied by 10, then added to the number of letters in the alphabet contained in Section 61 of the Galactic Tax Code (including subsection labels) minus five, then divided by 29.
      2. Under no circumstances shall gambling gains be equal to 112,006. In the event that they are, add 6 to the modified net income, notwithstanding any other provision of law, and recompute gambling gains.
      3. In the event that the gambling gains (inclusive of the instructions in subclause (a) but not of the instructions in subclause (b)) are an even multiple of 5, add 1 to said gambling gains.
    4. Gambling losses are to be computed as the sum of adjusted net income, modified net income, and modified adjusted net income, but in no event more than 100 credits.
  15. The hyperbolic quantum normalized alternative minimum tax shall be the quantum normalized alternative minimum tax, plus 30 credits.
  16. Income shall be computed as follows:
    1. Gross income is the sum of adjustments to adjustments to adjustments to adjustments to adjustments to income and adjustments to adjustments to adjustments to adjustments to income.
    2. Adjusted gross income is the sum of adjustments to adjustments to adjustments to adjustments to income and adjustments to income.
    3. Modified gross income is the sum of adjustments to adjustments to adjustments to adjustments to adjustments to income and adjustments to adjustments to adjustments to income.
    4. Modified adjusted gross income is the sum of adjustments to adjustments to adjustments to adjustments to income and adjustments to adjustments to adjustments to income.
    5. Net income is the sum of adjustments to adjustments to adjustments to income and adjustments to adjustments to income.
    6. Adjusted net income is the sum of adjustments to adjustments to adjustments to income and adjustments to income.
    7. Modified net income is the sum of adjustments to adjustments to income and adjustments to income.
    8. Modified adjusted net income is the sum of adjustments to income and adjustments to adjustments to adjustments to adjustments to adjustments to income.
  17. All intergalactic travel and entertainment expenses shall be deductible as interdimensional travel and entertainment expenses, except for an 8,000-credit wormhole recapture value.
  18. The inverse hyperbolic quantum normalized alternative minimum tax shall be the hyperbolic quantum normalized alternative minimum tax written with its digits in the opposite order.
  19. The miscellaneous non-farm overhead adjustment shall be the absolute value of the difference of the final three digits of the gross income and the final three digits of the modified gross income, added to the absolute value of the difference of the final two digits of the gross income and the final two digits of the modified gross income, added to the square of the final digit of the modified gross income.
  20. The net relativistic hotchpot basis shall be equal to the hyperbolic quantum normalized alternative minimum tax, less twice the value of interdimensional travel and entertainment expenses. If the first digit of the value so computed is not equal to one half the last digit of the value so computed, disregard all other instructions and await further directions or the heat death of the universe, whichever comes later.
  21. The normalized alternative minimum tax shall be the sum of the cubes of the digits of the alternative minimum tax.
  22. One fortieth of interstellar travel and entertainment expenses shall be deductible as intergalactic travel and entertainment expenses, unless the taxpayer submits itemized proof that a greater fraction of said interstellar travel was intergalactic.
  23. One one-hundredth of interplanetary travel and entertainment expenses shall be deductible as interstellar travel and entertainment expenses, unless the taxpayer submits itemized proof that a greater fraction of said interplanetary travel was interstellar.
  24. The phaser deduction phaseout threshold shall be half of the excess of the annual RP 73-13 exclusion over 4,000.
  25. The preliminary tax owed shall be the modified adjusted gross income, less the excess (if any) of the net income over the adjusted net income. If adding one to the value so computed would change the number of zeroes it contains, proceed with the remainder of this tax return; otherwise, reset the universe to immediately before the Big Bang and start again from the beginning.
  26. The prior-year excess basis depletion recapture threshold is the sum of the miscellaneous non-farm overhead adjustment, the fudge factor, and the allowable gambling gains.
    1. If the amount computed in this subsection exceeds 1,500,000, then it shall be recomputed as though the fudge factor were the least multiple of the fudge factor to exceed 300,000.
    2. If the amount computed in this subsection exceeds 750,000 but does not exceed 1,000,000, then it shall be recomputed as though the allowable gambling gains were the least multiple of the fudge factor to exceed 300,000.
    3. If the amount computed in this subsection does not exceed 750,000, then it shall be recomputed as though the miscellaneous non-farm overhead adjustment were the least multiple of the miscellaneous non-farm overhead adjustment to exceed 300,000.
  27. The quantum normalized alternative minimum tax shall be the shortest palindromic number starting with the digits of the normalized alternative minimum tax, in order.
  28. The robotax owed is the excess of the sum of the prepayment penalty and the flux capacitor discharge penalty (if any) over the prior-year excess basis depletion recapture threshold.
  29. The tax owed is the preliminary tax owed, added to the fudge factor, added to any prepayment penalty.
    1. Please remit this amount to the tax authority facility specified by your processing code. Your processing code consists of a facility code, followed by a checksum code, followed by a sorting code. Compute the facility code using the preliminary tax owed on table C1, the checksum code using the allowable gambling losses on table C2, and the sorting code using the allowable gambling gains on table C1.
    2. Along with any tax owed, please remit any robotax owed.
    3. If you engaged in a like-kind hovercopter exchange event, you must deduct the like-kind hovercopter exchange setoff from the tax owed and stand on your head.
  30. The time dilation correction for lizard-men, fembots, sentient gas clouds, and green-skinned cats is the absolute value of the difference between the modified adjusted gross income and the adjusted gross income. For all other species, add a 50% gravitational correction factor.
    1. Processing fees
      1. Bipedal species must deduct a 77-credit processing fee.
      2. Winged species must deduct a 150-credit processing fee.
      3. Methane-breathing species must deduct a 48-credit processing fee.
    2. Add to the time dilation correction so computed any scaling factor previously required to be deducted.
  31. The unmarked sandwich allowance is the excess of net income over modified net income, said excess to be multiplied by 100, from which product to be subtracted one credit more than modified gross income, and which difference to be divided by 300.
  32. The trilithium recycling deduction shall be the sum of the Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster fee and the negative of the negative of the negative of the negative of the negative of the negative of the Robocop statue construction checkoff.
  33. The vacuum reclamation enterprise zone credit shall be the sum of the final two digits of the gross income and the excess of the absolute value of the difference of the final three digits of the gross income and the final three digits of the adjusted gross income over the absolute value of the difference of the final digit of the gross income and the final digit of the adjusted gross income.
  34. Warning: you may owe a prepayment penalty. If your preliminary tax owed is less than 2,000 credits, you must compute a prepayment penalty. Failure to do so can result in one or more of exsanguination, airlocking, curbstomping, retroactive assassination, or a 2-credit fine.
    1. The amount of the prepayment penalty is equal to 2,528 multiplied by the amount of any vacuum reclamation enterprise zone credit.
    2. Unless otherwise directed, deduct from the prepayment penalty the amount 10,000,000,000 multiplied by the preliminary tax owed.
    3. Unless otherwise directed, add to the prepayment penalty any processing fees previously deducted.

TABLE C1

Value Code
0 to 10 P
11 to 100 Q
101 to 1,000 R
1,001 to 10,000 S
10,001 to 100,000 π
100,001 to 1,000,000 T
1,000,001 to 10,000,000 Z
10,000,001 to 100,000,000 [blank]
100,000,001 to 1,000,000,000 0
1,000,000,001 or more 1

TABLE C2

Value Code
0 to 10 0
11 to 100 2
101 to 1,000 4
1,001 to 10,000 6
10,001 to 100,000 8
100,001 to 1,000,000 1
1,000,001 to 10,000,000 3
10,000,001 to 100,000,000 5
100,000,001 to 1,000,000,000 7
1,000,000,001 or more 9

I-2 FORM

Species: HUMAN
Wages and tips: 74,110
Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster fee: 610
Annual RP 73-13 exclusion: 7398
Remote backup withholding: 542,000
Robocop statue construction checkoff: 2131
Interplanetary travel and entertainment: 100,000,000
Income from the sale of bitcoins: 15,103
Capital Gains: 446,201
lower-case gains: 207,102
Minimum tax: 28