Sorry, I Love These Big Wrong Musical Numbers

by Mike Sylvia, with vocals by Wes Carroll



Each expression has one three- or four-digit number that is written in digits instead of being spelled out; reading these alphanumerically gives NUMBER ONE FOR, the first half of a clue phrase.

Each audio clip is a rendition of a few lines of a song where all words have been replaced with their enumerations. To aid in identification, the title and file name of each audio clip is a letter bank of the band / singer name. In each clip, exactly one enumeration is wrong:

Audio clipSongIncorrect enumeration
CANDI ROSESinead O'Connor, Nothing Compares 2 UU is given as 11, not 1
SATCHELThe Clash, Rock the CasbahELECTRIC is given as 3, not 8
PINCERPrince, Raspberry BeretSTROKE is given as 10, not 6
CHIPOTLEThe Police, Wrapped Around Your FingerFINGER is given as 5, not 6
ZIP LENDLed Zeppelin, Stairway to HeavenHEAVEN is given as 7, not 6
MICHAEL YORNMy Chemical Romance, HelenaMATCH is given as 8, not 5
BMW HANDSET VDave Matthews Band, Ants MarchingBOX is given as 8, not 3
ANGRY EDGreen Day, HolidayEIFFEL is given as 2, not 6
SURGEONGuns 'N Roses, Sweet Child O' MineHAIR is given as 6, not 4
SUN TALKKT Tunstall, Black Horse and the Cherry TreeCUT is given as 6, not 3
UN-JOESJesus Jones, Right Here, Right NowBLINK is given as 1, not 5
REWZWeezer, Buddy HollyFRONT is given as 4, not 5
NOMADMadonna, Like a PrayerPOWER is given as 9, not 5
MAKERTOWNWho Can It Be Now, Men at WorkMAN is given as 9, not 3

All possible wrong enumerations from 1-11 are represented. Most are represented once; the other three are represented twice in a consecutive pair of links, and their corresponding pairs of words can be combined to make compound words. As a solving aid, these words are in alphabetical order if you sort by wrong enumeration. All of these words are the first halves of band names that take the form [Word][Number]; in this way, each number from 1-11 can be associated to a different number. As a further solving aid, these band name numbers are in ascending order by the original ordering.

  • ONE = (BLINK) 182
  • TWO = (EIFFEL) 65
  • FOUR = (FRONT) 242
  • FIVE = (FINGER) 11
  • SIX = (HAIRCUT) 100
  • SEVEN = (HEAVEN) 17
  • NINE = (POWERMAN) 5000
  • TEN = (STROKE) 9
  • ELEVEN = (U) 2

Plugging these values into the expressions, evaluating, and reading the results alphanumerically gives the second half of the clue phrase, PICARD:

  • (1421/(20+9))-(11*(6/2)) = 16 = P
  • 65-((1302-182)/20) = 9 = I
  • (518-242)/(65+17+sqrt(100)) = 3 = C
  • (20^2)+182-((5000-1514)/6) = 1 = A
  • (506*11/242)-(100/20) = 18 = R
  • (1518-182)/(242+100-6-2) = 4 = D

So the full clue phrase is NUMBER ONE FOR PICARD and the answer is RIKER.