Sorry, I Love These Big Wrong Musical Numbers
by Mike Sylvia, with vocals by Wes Carroll
ANSWER: RIKER
Each expression has one three- or four-digit number that is written in digits instead of being spelled out; reading these alphanumerically gives NUMBER ONE FOR, the first half of a clue phrase.
Each audio clip is a rendition of a few lines of a song where all words have been replaced with their enumerations. To aid in identification, the title and file name of each audio clip is a letter bank of the band / singer name. In each clip, exactly one enumeration is wrong:
| Audio clip | Song | Incorrect enumeration |
|---|---|---|
| CANDI ROSE | Sinead O'Connor, Nothing Compares 2 U | U is given as 11, not 1 |
| SATCHEL | The Clash, Rock the Casbah | ELECTRIC is given as 3, not 8 |
| PINCER | Prince, Raspberry Beret | STROKE is given as 10, not 6 |
| CHIPOTLE | The Police, Wrapped Around Your Finger | FINGER is given as 5, not 6 |
| ZIP LEND | Led Zeppelin, Stairway to Heaven | HEAVEN is given as 7, not 6 |
| MICHAEL YORN | My Chemical Romance, Helena | MATCH is given as 8, not 5 |
| BMW HANDSET V | Dave Matthews Band, Ants Marching | BOX is given as 8, not 3 |
| ANGRY ED | Green Day, Holiday | EIFFEL is given as 2, not 6 |
| SURGEON | Guns 'N Roses, Sweet Child O' Mine | HAIR is given as 6, not 4 |
| SUN TALK | KT Tunstall, Black Horse and the Cherry Tree | CUT is given as 6, not 3 |
| UN-JOES | Jesus Jones, Right Here, Right Now | BLINK is given as 1, not 5 |
| REWZ | Weezer, Buddy Holly | FRONT is given as 4, not 5 |
| NOMAD | Madonna, Like a Prayer | POWER is given as 9, not 5 |
| MAKERTOWN | Who Can It Be Now, Men at Work | MAN is given as 9, not 3 |
All possible wrong enumerations from 1-11 are represented. Most are represented once; the other three are represented twice in a consecutive pair of links, and their corresponding pairs of words can be combined to make compound words. As a solving aid, these words are in alphabetical order if you sort by wrong enumeration. All of these words are the first halves of band names that take the form [Word][Number]; in this way, each number from 1-11 can be associated to a different number. As a further solving aid, these band name numbers are in ascending order by the original ordering.
- ONE = (BLINK) 182
- TWO = (EIFFEL) 65
- THREE = (ELECTRIC) 6
- FOUR = (FRONT) 242
- FIVE = (FINGER) 11
- SIX = (HAIRCUT) 100
- SEVEN = (HEAVEN) 17
- EIGHT = (MATCHBOX) 20
- NINE = (POWERMAN) 5000
- TEN = (STROKE) 9
- ELEVEN = (U) 2
Plugging these values into the expressions, evaluating, and reading the results alphanumerically gives the second half of the clue phrase, PICARD:
- (1421/(20+9))-(11*(6/2)) = 16 = P
- 65-((1302-182)/20) = 9 = I
- (518-242)/(65+17+sqrt(100)) = 3 = C
- (20^2)+182-((5000-1514)/6) = 1 = A
- (506*11/242)-(100/20) = 18 = R
- (1518-182)/(242+100-6-2) = 4 = D
So the full clue phrase is NUMBER ONE FOR PICARD and the answer is RIKER.