Downsized Plutonians

by Ian Tullis and Dan Katz
Answer: EMIGRES

"Downsized" suggests a play on Pluto's "dwarf planet" nature. Each quote embodies the names of two of the Seven Dwarves, and all 21 possible combinations of these "mixed feelings" are represented:

• Amos: "I must have caught this from one of my patients..." (Doc / Sneezy)
• Clem: "This is my first time performing this procedure... I'm a little nervous." (Bashful / Doc)
• Dwight: "Yeah? Well, um, uh, you're a stupidface!" (Dopey / Grumpy)
• Earl: "Stop being so nice to me, you're making me blush." (Bashful / Happy)
• Gary: "Yeah, I'm an asshole, and I'm proud of it!" (Grumpy / Happy)
• Geoff: "Do you have any idea how late it is?" (Grumpy / Sleepy)
• Gus: "Damn these allergies!" (Grumpy / Sneezy)
• Ike: "I wish I could remember where my bed is." (Dopey / Sleepy)
• Ivor: "I found something shiny! I found something shiny!" (Dopey / Happy)
• Lars: "Ahhhh, that one kinda cleared my head." (Happy / Sneezy)
• Lee: "Oh, I'm sorry, I must have nodded off." (Bashful / Sleepy)
• Les: "The feathers in this pillow keep tickling my nose..." (Sleepy / Sneezy)
• Levi: "Oh gosh, did I forget to wear pants again?" (Bashful / Dopey)
• Louis: "Why does my face keep exploding?" (Dopey / Sneezy)
• Mark: "I am very pleased with your prognosis." (Doc / Happy)
• Mel: "I only get three hours a night, between rotations." (Doc / Sleepy)
• Milt: "So, which side is your heart on again?" (Doc / Dopey)
• Mongo: "Will somebody get me a freaking scalpel already?" (Doc / Grumpy)
• Oleg: "Everybody please stop staring at me." (Bashful / Grumpy)
• Rex: "I'm gonna have some sweet dreams tonight." (Happy / Sleepy)
• Wes: "Excuse me! That was a loud one." (Bashful / Sneezy)

To extract the answer, look at the group of names associated with each dwarf. Each group has exactly one letter in common.

• Bashful: Clem, Earl, Lee, Levi, Oleg, Wes: E
• Doc: Amos, Clem, Mark, Mel, Milt, Mongo: M
• Dopey: Dwight, Ike, Ivor, Levi, Louis, Milt: I
• Grumpy: Dwight, Gary, Geoff, Gus, Mongo, Oleg: G
• Happy: Earl, Gary, Ivor, Lars, Mark, Rex: R
• Sleepy: Geoff, Ike, Lee, Les, Mel, Rex: E
• Sneezy: Amos, Gus, Lars, Les, Louis, Wes: S

There is no standard order for the Seven Dwarves, hence the alphabetical order. As an added hint, the two letters from EMIGRES within each name always come in the same order as they appear in the word EMIGRES.