Guilty Pleasures

Betty Wexter is a notable patroness of the theatre, opera, and ballet... but she harbors a dark, secret taste for an art form a bit less refined...


Film in which Roddy Piper said this immortal line: "I come here to chew bubble gum and kick ass but I'm all out of bubble gum." Hey, what's up with those sunglasses??

Before he directed the "Lord of the Rings Trilogy," Peter Jackson was known for splatter films including Dead Alive and this film, best remembered for its box cover of an alien sticking out his middle finger.

Recently in theaters, this film follows the exploits of Kris Kringle's brother.

After seeing this movie, you may not agree with the line "I love horror movies; love them!" Director David DeCoteau got his start in the adult film industry.

"In the beginning, there was Monga." In the end, you've wasted nearly 90 minutes watching this movie. Actually, considering the minimal budget, Director Brett Piper did a decent job.

Featuring a well-known cast, this film has nothing to do with Maurice Sendak's critters. Rather, it's an intricately plotted mystery.

Spoiler time - Winona's really an android, but Sigourney's still Sigourney (for now).

One of the stars of this Full Moon DVD is "Paris Duff." She is not the illegitimate half-sister of Paris Hilton and Hillary Duff.

From infinity... to the Mall! But when you are fighting the huge evil bad guy, be careful not to stomp on Shoe Heaven. Alternative rejected titles for this film include Crouching Tiger, Hidden .357; 101 Way to Wok Your Dog; Teen Sewer Tramps Slaughter Helpless Baby Seals; and Used Love Dolls: We Got 'Em Cheap.

Humans are such easy prey in this HP Lovecraft adaptation that reteams director Stewart Gordon and his Reanimator stars Jeffrey Combs and Barbara Crampton. After many years of screaming from the fans, a DVD director's cut was finally released in 2007.

Doctor, meet Obi-wan. You'll be roommates. But when your other roommate dies, don't take the suitcase. And make sure you bury him real deep. Director Danny Boyle teamed up again with Christopher Eccleston in the well-received "don’t call them zombies" flick 28 Days Later.

His slay bells are ringing! Director John Russo worked with George Romero on the original Night of the Living Dead. Now he's relegated to directing Debbie Rochon movies. All he wants for Christmas is a new career.

It's new, it's extreme, it's deadly. No, not a sport - watching this movie! Spread the chum and they will come - the crocs, that is. This film is also known as Krocodylus.

Is it fact, fiction, or your worst nightmare escaping from between the pages? My worst nightmare involves watching movies like this. Jenny Wright also starred in the cult vampire classic Near Dark.

A killer with a crossbow pistol is killing people from their rooftops. Time to call in Jack Bauer. Too bad Kiefer Sutherland was having a bad day and wasn't available. Mary Lynn Rajskub was around, however. For some reason, this film is also known as Claustrophobia. What do crossbows have to do with Santa?

Where shopping can cost you an arm and a leg. Where are they now? Jim Wynorski also directs films as "Jay Andrews," "Harold Blueberry" and half a dozen other names. He was so proud of this one, he left his own name on it. Barbara Crampton has graduated from cheesy B-Movies to soap opera stardom. Kelli Maroney also starred in the classic Night of the Comet. After a break of many years, she recently returned to her horror roots with Nightmare Carnival.

It'll Eat You Out Of House And Home. Comic book characters come to life and kill their creator. Personally, if I saw that coming, I'd be drawing scantily clad women! After spending a year on Earth II, costar Debrah Farentino now lives in Eureka.

One of the After Dark Horrorfest 8 Films to Die For from 2006 takes its title from a term applied to 19th century British fiction publications, usually lurid serial stories appearing in parts over a number of weeks. Watching this movie felt like it took a number of weeks, despite Mimi Rogers. I guess she's not making enough money playing poker and still has to act every once in awhile.


Halfway through this Tempe Video disaster, the lead actor threw off his rubber monster suit, swore at the director, and walked off. With no more time or money, the director left this in, and ended the film after 45 minutes. All the gory details can be found on the DVD release in volume 3 of the "Bad Movie Police" series.

Director Andy Sidaris got his start as an Emmy-winning producer at ABC Sports. He is better known for his series of movies featuring the "LETHAL LADIES," mostly former Playboy playmates as undercover secret agents. This installment features guest stars Pat Morita and Erik Estrada.

One of the stars of this Omen rip-off is "Boo Boo Stewart." That may also be what you'll be yelling at the screen while you watch this mess.

In this sci-fi classic, Tommy Kirk's race is dying. He heads to earth to capture some breeding females and ends up face to face with Batgirl.

An artist has coulrophobia, so naturally she paints what she's afraid of. Then one comes after her. Maybe next time she should paint a sexy guy! Laugh and you're dead!

No, this isn't what happened in that darkened movie theater before the cops arrived. This film involved the recovery of his bicycle!

"Master, can you take me to Hell? Sweet!" Dorky kid gets possessed by a video game. Hey, Amanda Plummer is in this, how bad can it be?

Life's a beach - even in space! From the Troma Team!

Another masterpiece from director Fred Olen Ray. Scream queens Michelle Bauer and Linnea Quigley lead a group of call girls who charge an arm and a leg for their services. Gunnar Hansen must have a thing for power tools!

Satan has created the perfect killer. One who cannot be stopped. Be warned. This movie is awful. Be warned. Yes, Tracy Griffith is Melanie's younger sister.

It’s like a bad horror movie, only worse. It’s a musical. This zombiefest features David Carradine and his daughter, Ever, and Anthony Perkins' son Oz. The other horror is going through life with names like "Ever" and "Oz." It could have been worse. They could have been "Moon Unit " and "Dweezil."


Stay out of the stores when there's a flood. Stupid premise, stupid movie. Star Rob Estes was once married to his Melrose Place costar Josie Bissett.

Where they come from, there's lots of sand but no water. Yet they still wear bikinis! Director "Ellen Cabot" is really David DeCoteau using one of his many pseudonyms. Stephen King was once forced by his publisher to use the name "Richard Bachman" because he was so prolific and they did not want to oversaturate his audience. Somehow this does not seem to be the same case here. Although with his background it does make sense that his family films were credited to "Julian Breen."

You'll never be able to shop in a mall the same way again after seeing this George Romero classic.

After her son is murdered by a gang of white supremacists, "Leroy's Mother" takes them on in this Troma classic.

Someone is killing the female leads of this film within a film. Director Fred Olen Ray is a protégé of Roger Corman.

Although the title is alliterative, these babes from beyond have no fangs and do not suck blood. They are from another planet, however, and take on the appearance of buxom bimbos to blend in on earth as they plan their invasion. J.J. North stars in the Ted Bohus-directed opus.

The title of this film is much more provocative than the movie itself. It's simply a mystery with Jerry Orbach as a private detective investigating murders in the garment district.

Criminal brothers George Clooney and Quentin Tarantino seek refuge in a southern bar. But wait, isn’t that Tom Savini? And why do all the patrons here seem to be drinking red wine instead of beer? Oops, that red stuff isn't wine! Director Robert Rodriguez was not involved in the 2 sequels. He teamed up with Tarantino again last year to film Grindhouse.

Mark of the Beast? Too generic. Triangle of Death? Boooring! I know, let's give it a really crazy title and sell it to Troma. They'll know how to market it.

Despite an all-star cast led by Michael Caine, Sally Field, and Telly Savalas, this sequel to an epic disaster film was all washed up. The good news... at least they won’t be tempted to remake it half a dozen times.

Once you believe... you're dead! Don't forget to leave the lights on!

There is everything to look forward to... except tomorrow in this classic bad film starring Christopher Lee. This was an early film from Charles Band who later founded both Empire Pictures and Full Moon studios.

Sorry... your party is dead. Too many films like this helped lead Love Boat greeter Lauren Tewes down the path to cocaine addiction.

Banned in many countries when released in 1977, this Wes Craven classic and its sequel were both recently remade. Poor Michael Berryman: that wasn't make-up. How would you like to go through life looking like that?

Nudo e selvaggio may sound like a porno movie, but was really the Italian title of this spin-off of Cannibal Ferox. The international title is better known.

Give me a "B," give me an "A," give me a "D." That's what this movie is. And if you think otherwise, I'll kill you and the rest of your squad, starting with Debbie Rochon.

George Clooney was the first victim of a serial killer in this horror parody that also featured Maureen McCormick in a post-Marcia Brady role as a cop.

It's actually the name of Roddy Piper's hero that leads to this film's title, not where teams had to go to get their souls back to complete last year's Mystery Hunt.

More Troma trash. Maybe this one's so awful because it was dubbed into Swahili.

From Charles Band and Full Moon films comes this parody that could have been about William Shatner's character from Third Rock From the Sun. The planned sequel "Bride of..." never got made.

When they rub against your leg, 'you' cough up the hairball!!! Another masterpiece from Lloyd Kaufman and Michael Herz at Troma!

This movie, originally filmed as Der Schweigende Stern has been known by many, many, many titles, including this one in the US.

A beloved TV show got its start as a feature film starring Kristy Swanson in the title role and featuring memorable performances by Luke Perry, Rutger Hauer, and especially Paul "Pee-Wee Herman" Reubens, whose death scene is a classic.

As was the case with The Initiation of Sarah, which featured Morgan Fairchild in both versions, the producers of this film convinced original star Kate Jackson to appear opposite Shannen Doherty in the 2000 remake.

Carlos Don Diego's opus tried to combine Texas and Transylvania with a bunch of bimbos and failed miserably on all counts.

Though Tobe Hooper's original is still the best, this remake has a less confusing word-count. Leatherface is a classic horror villain.

They did it to resurrect the Third Reich in 1963. At least they didn't keep the rest of him. I'm surprised there was anything left after the bullet went through.

In 19th century France, a young Bram Stoker is captured by a man-hating, all-female cult of thong bikini-wearers led by Adrienne Barbeau (the real one). This experience helped turn him into a famous writer.

Before playing Hurley on Lost, Jorge Garcia played a character named Racoon Head in this Troma masterpiece. Wes Craven was so impressed with the production that he donated $100 to the budget. In a tribute to the company where they got their careers started, directors Trey Parker and James Gunn appear in cameo roles.

Even Looney Tunes are not always perfect. Despite its Rube Goldberg devices, this Road Runner/Wile E. Coyote cartoon is widely disliked mainly due to the use of old needle-drop music cues from the Capitol Hi-Q library (the same library that Gumby used) instead of an original score.

Sisters play a prank on a young girl and she dies. Now she's really mad! The whole family better watch out! This is a typical made-for-TV film of the early 1980's. The formula - take a couple of recognizable TV actors (in this case Dennis Weaver and Valerie Harper), and try to scare them (and the audience) to death. Unfortunately, most of them ended up being so dull that anyone watching would find it tough to follow the title's advice.

While Stella is browsing on a Halloween site, she somehow transfers a ghost into real life. What if she had been browsing a porno site? Too bad this is a family movie.

An out-of-this-world, down-to-earth comedy adventure, written by the Homecoming Queen with a Gun, Julie Brown, who also costars. Geena Davis and Jeff Goldblum began their ill-fated romance on the set of this film.

If you have to die, make sure your cleaning woman knows a good voodoo spell to bring you back to life. Elliott Gould and Melissa Sue Anderson costar.

Don't open the mail. It could be from someone who murdered his wife! But of course it could be from Patrick Swayze. Too late! Oh well, you're safe. He was innocent anyway.

Bruno Mattei is the Ed Wood of Italy. This mess about giant mutant rodents, Notte di terrore, is also known in the US as Blood Kill.

Death is the devil's blessing, unless you are eaten by cannibals while searching for Yeti. Yeah, it's as dumb as it sounds.

Star Eddie Deezen quit this low-budget Mark Pirro directed mess part way through - so he was replaced by a prop for the remainder of the film.


She created a monster as her secret lover! Also known as Possession, this French film stars Sam Neill.

Terror waits for you in every room in this British anthology. Writer Robert Bloch is best known for an earlier work - he wrote Alfred Hitchcock's classic Psycho.

A chill-filled festival of horror! Locked in the basement for 30 years by his sisters, a maniac escapes. Star Beryl Reid was awarded a Lifetime British Comedy award in 1991. What was she thinking when she made this??

A promotional sign was posted at every theater showing this film that stated: "FOR YOUR PROTECTION! We will not permit you to see these shockers unless you agree to release the theatre of all responsibility for death by fright!" Moviegoers actually had to sign a "Fright Release" before they entered the theater. Maybe they should have signed a waiver asking them not to demand their money back. Oh, well, at least they go to hear the Del-Aires sing.

Heather Locklear stars in this sequel from another Roger Corman protégé, Jim Wynorski. The Lethal Weapon scene in which Rene Russo and Mel Gibson compare battle scars was actually stolen from this movie. The real Adrienne Barbeau was in the original.

What happens when a group of exhibitionists commit suicide and then take revenge on the church that forced them off their land? You get this musical masterpiece that features a cameo from publishing legend Forrest J. Ackerman as a judge.

Resisting her is futile. Giving in to her is fatal. Asking Daryl Hannah what happened to her missing finger is not nice. But the world is about to end and I really wanna know.

"Back in my day the women were born old, ugly and scary." Another alliterative title, and this one isn't from Troma.

This film was originally supposed to be set in L.A., but Bulgaria was so cheap to film in that producers decided to film it there. Actor and writer Bruce Campbell had to rewrite the movie to fit the new location. The star appeared at its premiere at the Coolidge Corner Theatre to push his book If Chins Could Kill.

Hey George Clooney, you were warned not to play with your vegetables. Now look what happened! First they attacked, and now they're back.

A perfect housewife by day - a prehistoric flying reptile by night. Should star Ms. D'Angelo get extra pay because her name is also in the title?

Big Movie. Big Production. Big Girls. As "Shala," star Brinke Stevens was the inspiration for the heroine of The Rocketeer comic and movie.

Being a zombie has certain advantages. Die Nacht der lebenden Loser roughly translates to this Americanized title.

Don't throw your love away. Burn it. The director is "Don Nardo." "Don Pardo" was the voice of Saturday Night Live. This Troma masterpiece is actually reminiscent of Sleuth and House of Games in that nothing is as it seems.

Hmmm. What would Bruce Campbell do? Another Full Moon classic. According to the director, the maggots that get rubbed onto the face of the bratty sister are real. However, they didn't tell her. It was their way of getting back at her for not showing up for filming the previous day, due to her booking a higher paying job.

When the price of lust is death...! This Italian-made Ursula Andress vehicle was shown in a censored version in the US.

They're Back From The Grave and Ready To Party! The highlight of this film was scream queen Linnea Quigley's tombstone dance. Four sequels have followed, including parts 4 & 5, which were filmed back to back at Chernobyl!

Camp classic from the Chiodo brothers. Yes, that is John Vernon, Dean Wormer himself, getting attacked by cotton candy.

Musical classic featuring the Ramones. Yes. For those of you who don’t know, Clint Howard is the brother of Ron. I always feared that star P.J. Soles was anorexic. But seeing her in The Devil's Rejects makes me realize I was wrong. She has NOT aged well.

Pia Zadora's first role as a child was in this camp classic where the aliens wore vacuum cleaners on their heads.

He'll seduce you till dawn, then have you forever. Charlie Spradling is a woman. She appeared in a number of Full Moon movies. Scott Valentine got his start on Family Ties before starring in one of the greatest series of all time, Black Scorpion.

Something is after Jessica. Something very cold, very wet... and very dead. This film was actually banned in Finland.

Fear can take your breath away. Michael Paré's acting can make you puke!

Mr. Creepo is the Benny Hill of Exploitation. And Debbie Rochon is the Peyton Manning of B-Movies. She'll act in anything for a buck.

Starring nobody you've ever heard of, this film actually came out twice. Once under its original title, then again as the Terminal Remix. They were giving away free copies at the Chiller convention, so I figure that's worth a plug here.

I'm gonna kill you. I am going to kill you. Not now. Not tonight. That would be too easy. Maybe next week. Next month. You'll never know. Think about it. One day, one night, I'll be there. Clive Owen and Malcolm McDowell star.

Everyone remembers Michael Landon for his hair. This time, it was all over his face, too.

Like David DeCoteau and Jim Wynorski, Fred Olen Ray uses a number of other names. As Nicholas Medina, he directed Nicole Sheridan (not to be confused with a certain "Desperate Housewife") in this '06 film with a rhyming title.

This documentary about ghosts and slavery from Director James Hawes is not really a B-Movie. However, it fit nicely into the grid!

From Italian horrormeister Lucio Fulci comes Un Gatto nel cervello. I guess the hat was too tight!

Adventure doesn't come any bigger! From Director John Carpenter, this camp classic stars Kurt Russell and a pre-Sex in the City Kim Cattrall.

A family reunion with some minor complications. While Steve Buscemi and Ned Beatty are the best-known stars, supporting actor Jon Gries has had a nice career, including a starring role as "Broots" on The Pretender and an appearance in the surprise hit Napoleon Dynamite.

A hammering, head-banging movie that will nail you to your seat - literally! And another Troma Team renaming so that the title is quasi-alliterative.

In this fright flick from the author of Audrey Rose, Charles Durning is stalked by the man he wrongly convicted. Was Charles Durning really young once?

Roger Corman quickie from 1961. If you are going to blame a monster for killing your crew, you better make sure it isn't real.

Who can forget James Arness as a Giant Carrot?

Normally a director, Sean Cain jumps in front of cameras in this movie set in the fictional "Canpuna."

In this sequel, Carol Kane and Charles Durning reprised their roles 14 years after the original. Hopefully we'll have to wait that long again for the sequel to the remake.

The midnight movie that all crummy movies wish they were. So many of the cast have gone on to bigger and better things – Tim Curry, Barry Bostwick, Meatloaf, and even Susan Sarandon (who really wishes she had never done this film). Let’s do the Time Warp again!

Good, stupid fun as two go-go dancers are framed for murder. This was actually "Thelma and Louise" before Thelma and Louise. Star Elizabeth Kaitan later took over for Ginger Lynn Allen in Vice Academy parts 3-6 after the original actress had a falling out with the producers. Shades of Charlie's Angels, as she played the character's sister.

You can count on Something Weird Video to put out some of the worst schlock. This one's so bad it's part of a triple feature release called "Tortured Triple Feature" along with 2 other classics: Mr. Mari's Girls and Tortured Females. The worst torture is watching these things.

Another Roger Corman quickie from the 1950's. People are trapped on a shrinking island by intelligent, brain-eating giant crustaceans. If you're intelligent, you'll stay away from films like this.


Tennis IS everything! This movie sounds awful. It still hasn't come out yet. Maybe we'll get lucky and it never will.

Everybody knows the Bottle Imp. But what's this about a "Trophy Imp"? I thought she was married to Donald Trump! Another David DeCoteau classic with Linnea Quigley.

Hell Has Finally Frozen Over! Stephen King adaptation that has nothing to do with the original book or movie (or even the first sequel). But hey, there's lots to look at - Chase Masterson, Faith Ford, and Jennifer O'Dell! Too bad it takes place in the Arctic.

You're Invited To Orville's "Coming-Out" Party... It'll Be A Scream... YOURS!!! If you are going to dig up a corpse, you should wash your hands afterwards.

Direct to video sequel starring Amanda Righetti (no relation to Dave) and Cerina Vincent. Hey, there's Jeffrey Combs. Guess he had a few free minutes to put in a cameo.

Yes, it's THAT Roger Ebert who wrote the screenplay for this Russ Meyers sequel.

J.J. North is 20% taller than Darryl Hannah or Allison Hayes, and her chest is much bigger too!

Witness the return of Baltimore's greatest alien terror in this monstrous saga from low-budget cult director Don Dohler. No that's not StePHen King slumming in this mess, it's SteVen King.

Where the prehistoric meets the prepubescent. Another Brett Piper classic.

The title says it all! Yuck! Ugh! Bleech! I don't need to go into more detail. Directed by Bill Zebub.

A weird Thomas Casey classic in the John Waters mode still waiting for the cult it deserves. This movie stars a bunch of people you've never heard of, including a transvestite who looks like Bea Arthur!

Hey honey, Rebecca DeMornay looks so sweet. I bet she'll make a great nanny. And I just loved her in Risky Business. The victimized family's address, "808 Yakima," is the actual address of the house where most of this movie was filmed.


In their future (which is now our past), stuck up Morgan Fairchild has abolished sex. Who says there are no great roles for women over 30? You just need a great female director - oh wait a minute... that's Ellen Cabot again. She's really David DeCouteau.

The biggest, boobiest bimbo-fest of them all! This time, the demon is in a crystal ball. Director Todd Sheets has talent that makes Ed Wood look like a genius.

The bride wore terror! This 1958 classic was remade in 1998 with Richard Burgi and Susan Walter, and lost the last half of its title.

The main course wasn't enough - now these cute little furballs with the razor-sharp teeth are back. And they're not done. Next they'll be invading your space.

Stephen King sequel time again. The original cult leader comes back after 19 years. Can we please not have any more of these? Too late, they already did part 7.


Dr. Hunt is searching for Dr. Kurtz in the Amazon. Is it the Apocalypse? Nope - she (yes, she) must face the Piranha women. And hey - isn't that Bill Maher in the stewpot?

The forces of evil are attempting to recapture a human-inhabited earthlike planet that has been liberated by rebels. The son of one of the rebel leaders, an electronic genius, searches the galaxy for a hero and finds the star of a 1950's TV series. He is transported to the planet as its savior, which role he must play despite himself. Sounds like Galaxy Quest, right? Actually, this came out years earlier and featured Ron Perlman, Nichelle Nichols, and Liz Vassey.

They can die quickly. They can die slowly. But they must die! Gangster film with a great cast including Christopher Walken as The Man with the Plan.


One of the most unusual science fiction films ever made. All of the aliens took the name "John." And an actor named John (Lithgow) was one of the stars. Too bad Jamie Lee Curtis' scenes never made it into the final print.


While this film was originally intended to have a theatrical release, because of the big similarities with Scary Movie and the popularity of that previous film it was decided to release it direct-to-video. Tiffani Amber Thiessen takes on the Courtney Cox role as she investigates the "Spring Break Murders."


This Violent Story Is Definitely Not For The Squimish!!! (sic). Made on a video camera, this is a poor man's attempt at shock. The only thing that would be shocking is if someone actually liked it!