Man, I Hate These %#!&@ Sudokus!

Damn it all to Hell! I hate these stupid prime numbers. I like things I can hack into pieces, and primes just seem to resist all of my efforts. What I hate even more is seeing primes hanging out next to each other. Maybe that's why I start counting at 4 so I can skip seeing 2 next to 3 (shudder). Maybe that's why, when I have to fill numbers into a grid, you can be sure I keep those primes separated from each other in horizontally and vertically connected cells. (I can live with diagonally adjacencies. I mean, I'm not obsessive or anything.)

Well, it might surprise you – maybe it won't – that Hell got caught up in this Sudoku craze recently. A bunch of us would challenge each other with the hardest puzzles we could write but gradually we got tired of the standard puzzles you humans seem enamored with. So, we started to play a mean game where we'd make variations that looked just like the regular puzzles except they couldn't be uniquely solved unless you knew a special rule or two. Well, not to be left out, I went about this game too. I liked making sets of puzzles that never repeated the same digit in the same cell of different puzzles. I could write as many as nine at a time, obviously, if it weren't for having to fill in those stupid prime numbers. When I started, I gave the puzzles out one at a time but I was told that was far too evil, so now I give them out all together. Stupid rules. Still, it is devilishly fun to see all the weird things solvers try to use to complete them. Since I hate solvers.