Lesson V-2: Letters People just don't appreciate the intricacy in poison pen letters. It's hard getting all that anthrax into the ink.

Celebrity Scrabble™

"Hi there, and welcome to `Evil Author Week' on Celebrity Scrabble™, where we pit some poor unsuspecting civilian against a brilliant celebrity! Tonight our competition will be between John Doe, our `average guy,' and an as-yet-undisclosed celebrity! As always, regular Scrabble™ rules apply – except, of course, to our celebrity, who can use proper nouns, play multiple-word phrases, and exceed the 7-tile limit. It's great to be famous, isn't it? At least we don't score extra points for bingos–otherwise, it might be unfair! Alrighty then, let's go ahead and get this party started! Of course, you'll want to know that the name of our celebrity tonight is–"

<Celebrity Scrabble™ is interrupted by an hour-long power outage>
<Power resumes just as the show is ending>

"Well, that last word pretty much sums up how the game went for John Doe. Ouch! And if that wasn't enough, he's going to lose another 7 points for those letters he got stuck with at the end. Mwua-ha-ha. Oh, excuse me–I mean, at least John gets a year's supply of cat food to take home with him!"

<Closing music>

"If any of you folks at home want to reconstruct this game, we'll be showing the player notes, turn by turn, during the credits. You'll notice that our celebrity author's notes don't make it particularly clear what was actually played that turn! And just between you and me, there seemed to be quite a few liberties taken with the word THE (or should I say its absence) in the plays our celeb author made. I guess when you're famous, you can basically do whatever you want!"

JOHN DOE ??????? ????
axis 22 Louis 21
angina 14 Charlie 60
fog 7 Paul 22
flop 10 Jack 22
bag 7 Frannie 21
bob 9 Clayton 6
boot 12 Donna 29
cot 5 Johnny 189
quiche 42 Bill 6
way 27 <exchanges letters> 0
waved 16 <exchanges letters> 0
duke 9 <exchanges letters> 0
nor 3 <exchanges letters> 0
sue 3 Paul 33
<leftover letters> -7   +7
<total points> 179 <total points> 416

"Done reconstructing the game? You should find an answer from our players in the grid on two symmetrically placed diagonals. Until I see you all next week, keep drawing that Q and keep playing those bingos!"