by Fred Gay, Greg Lohman, Nikki Akraboff, and Dan Katz

Final activity: Enter the gates of hell

The directions to hell (in red) and away from hell (in blue) fit together into a single series of directions; one simply follows the red directions as is, and in the blue directions one replaces every word in italics with its opposite.

The path ends at a door in the basement of Building 24 (right underneath Hunt HQ). Teams are instructed to call HQ near the end of the runaround so that we're ready for their arrival; when they knock we ask for a password. The angel's instructions say to read the angel letters from the beginning (which gives a fake password, I AM TEH SUCK). Negating the italicized words tells the team to read the devil letters from the end, which gives the right password, HANDBASKET.

These are the corrected directions:

You'll want to start in front of room 3-108. That's where most people start when they want to go to Hell. Once there, find the slideshow and walk under it. Pass two doors on the right, proceed through an arch, and look up and to the left. Find someone whose middle name sounds like something a grammatically challenged vampire would say. Take the middle letter of the name above him. [T - middle letter of WHITNEY above BLOODGOOD]

Continue in the direction you were headed. Turn right at the second opening after the dollar bill and go down. At the bottom of the stairs, turn right. Walk for a while, look for the Canadian flag on your left, and take the letter below the seven. [E - Door of 4-007] Keep going, and turn right when an arrow points in that direction. Turn right immediately, go up two floors. Turn right at the top of the stairs, and go to the end of the hall. Bear left until you see a hose and a plant. Walk towards them. *sigh* And now in the interest of equal time…

Oh, you're such a gentleman. Find the stairs closest to you, and go down one floor. Find one of those things MIT students metaphorically drink from here, walk up to it, and turn left. Walk until you find a shiny nose. Take the first letter of the nose-owner's first listed occupation. [I - George Eastman, inventor] Stand facing away from "No Access," and walk forward.

At second set of double doors, turn right and go down. At the bottom, turn right, then right again. At the first intersection, walk towards the food. When surrounded by tasty food, find a keypad and take the symbol on the upper left button. [A - on all the vending machine keypads] Continuing in the direction you were headed, go to the end of the hall, then turn left and go up one floor. Your turn!

Look for the eight dapper young men, and take the third letter from the end of the hyphenated adjective describing instruments. [K - "short-necked banjeaurines"] Turn around and go through the glass doors (ignoring the caution sign). Look for two sets of revolving doors. Walk towards them.

Walk a bit past the revolving doors, look through the glass to the left, and take the fourth letter of the fourth line from the top. [S - "this building" in Building 54] Continue in the direction you were headed, and walk through the arch ahead of you. Look for the three white tanks and walk towards them. Standing near the tanks, find the nearby bridge. Walk until you are standing underneath it.

Okay, now turn around, walk about three paces, look for doors on your left, and go through them. Walk to a position between the elevators and take the first letter of the country you see. [M - Malaysia, Building 16] Turn left, and walk up to the shiny pillar. Pretty!

Turn right and walk through the double doors ahead of you. Walk over a bridge towards a post. At the post, take the second letter of the surname in the phrase you can see ahead of you. [T - The Ray and Maria Stata Center] Look for the six trees, and walk through them. Go through two sets of double doors. Don't be afraid to take a break if you're getting tired…

Nonsense. Time is money, money is evil. Go approximately straight, until you come to a large hallway orthogonal to your path. Turn left, and then go straight (until going straight any further would lead outside). Make a U-turn and go up the stairs. At the very top of the stairs, there are two sets of double doors roughly adjacent to each other. Take the middle letter of the acronym on the rightmost door. [A - CSAIL]

Turn left and follow the walkway past the elevators. Turn left, go up the stairs in front of you, and then go straight. Go through the door, turn left, and then immediately turn right. Walk down the hall and through the double doors at the end. Go through the door on the right and down one floor. Go out the door on the left and walk to the giant window. Go through the double doors on the right. In this hall, find what Margaret found, and take its first letter. [B - "Margaret Finds A Box" photos] Walk up to the Chinese professor waiting for you at the end of the hall.

How do you know he's Chinese? You shouldn't make assumptions about people based on their appearances. Turn left, then right. Take the first door on the left. Go up one floor, go through the door, and turn left. Go to the end of the hall. Turn left and then go straight. Go through the last door on the right (disregarding the sign). Look straight ahead of you and take the fourth letter of the second first name under the thing that looks like HAL-9000. [E - "Karen," 39-328]

Turn right and go up the ramp. Turn left and go about ten yards. Take the fourth letter of the second word of the large writing on your right. [H - Microsystems Technology, 39-328] Continue forward, and at the end of the hall, turn left and go down the ramp. Turn right and pass through the double doors. Back to Mr. Racist Man.

Look, if you read the- Never mind. Go through the door directly across the hall and go down one floor. Exit the stairwell, turning left. Go straight, then turn left when you can't keep going straight. Go down the hallway, shift to the right, and continue another five yards. Go up one floor using the NON-DANGEROUS elevator, and go left down the hallway for another twenty yards or so. Take the first letter of the first name of the professor teaching a course advertised as lacking "real world pay." [D - Dave Miller, 37-327] Heh.

Continue straight, and turn left at the end of the hallway; go straight for five yards, then turn right. Go through the door in front of you, and go up the stairs. Continue straight, then go down a couple of stairs. Shift to the right and continue moving, remaining on the same floor. Turn left at the hallway just past the first men's bathroom you come to. Go down the ramp, then descend one floor via the stairwell immediately on your right. Coming out of the stairs, go straight, and take the sixth letter of the second full word on the fourth door on your left, across from the black window. [N - Aeronautics & Astronautics] You, straggling in the back, pick up the pace, we don't have all day.

Okay, now continue straight, shift to the left, go straight another five yards, passing a pretty computer kiosk on your left, and go down the stairs. Continue straight, and go down the stairs in front of you. Now keep going until you see a door to the outside on your right. When you're next to this door, face away from the door and walk forwards. Go straight down the hallway ahead of you, continuing until you come to a hallway that leads off to your right. Take the first letter of the first word of the big sign on the glass wall to your left. [S - Student Services Center]

Go down the aforementioned hallway. When you reach the stairwell adjacent to the second exit door on your left, go right down the hallway opposite that stairwell. Go straight (shifting to the left) and continue straight until you can't go straight anymore. Take the second letter of the synonym for "exceed" on the door directly in front of you. [U - outreach] This is so much fun, isn't it?

Oh yeah, there's nothing more fun than walking to work. Ass. Go down the hallway on your right, and go up two floors via the second stairwell on your left. Go left down the hallway, and after passing through a set of double doors, take the second letter of the last name of the woman you're supposed to bring deliveries to. [A - Patti Packard, 5-320] Then continue through two more sets of double doors.

Admire the view, then turn right. There is a hallway in the middle of the side of the room you're facing; go straight down it. Descend two floors after you pass a water fountain on your left, and then turn right. Walk about five yards down this hallway, and take the first letter of the first first name on the card next to the fire. [H - Harold Edgerton] Got your cell phone? At this point, give us a call in Hell to let us know you're almost home.

Continue going straight, and after the water fountain, turn left down the next hallway. Go as far down this hallway as possible, then turn right and immediately left again. Continue forward and take the first letter of the second word on the second door on your right. [C - MIT Careers Office, 12-185]

Go straight down the hall, pass a staircase on your right, and continue until you reach a stairwell. Go down one floor, and right when you get to the bottom. Finally, take the first letter of the fourth word posted on the last door on your left. [K - Danger High Voltage Keep Out] Go through the double doors and up one floor, and knock on the door. When you're asked for a password, read the letters the devil told you to take, starting from the end. Yay! Welcome to the first day of the rest of your life!