D3: The Fellowship Of The Duck

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In avian legend and aquatic lore, there is an ancient prophecy of a day when five waterfowl from different worlds would gather, march across the Field of Feathers, and execute the odd behaviors and intricate motions leading to the utterance of the Sacred Word, lost for centuries upon centuries. Today, coincidentally enough, is that day.

The Field of Feathers is a 5 x 5 grid of squares, numbered and oriented as shown:

        1    2    3    4    5        

        6    7    8    9    10             N

        11   12   13   14   15          W  *  E

        16   17   18   19   20             S 

        21   22   23   24   25

The Fellowship of the Duck are:

* Coroges the One Duck: Coroges is charged with the task of bearing The One Piece of Bread, a powerful and greed-inducing artifact. He holds The One Piece of Bread in his left wing and a red marker in his right wing, and he begins on Square 1.

* Dogslante the Lucky Duck: Since hatching, Dogslante has had a strange knack for finding objects, especially money, completely at random. He holds a blue marker in his left wing and a four-leaf clover in his right wing, and he begins on Square 7.

* Landod the Lame Duck: A magnet for predators and abuse, Landod is prone to constant injury and downfall, as well as a bit of a martyr complex. He holds a crutch in each wing, and he begins on Square 13.

* Amciag the Dead Duck: Murdered by hunters, Amciag inexplicably rose from the grave with the power to summon and control magical creatures. He holds a shrunken head in his left wing and a green marker in his right wing, and he begins on Square 19.

* Tofnen the Gizmo Duck: Gifted with intelligence previously unknown in duckkind, Tofnen creates impressive-looking and occasionally functional gadgets. He holds a black marker in his left wing and a Swiss Duck Knife in his right wing, and he begins on Square 25.

INSTRUCTIONS: Each duck has a list of trigger conditions and associated instructions. At the beginning of each turn, exactly one trigger for one duck should be satisfied, and that duck should carry out the associated instructions. When finished, he quacks (as noted) to signify the end of his turn. At that point, exactly one new trigger for one duck should be satisfied; that duck follows the associated instructions. This continues, turn after turn, until a duck's instructions say that the Ritual of the Word should begin; the instructions for this Ritual are given separately.

IMPORTANT EXCEPTION: Once a trigger's instructions are followed, they are not followed again, even if the condition remains true or becomes true again. SO when you've done something, cross it off your list.

NOTE: Only check for triggers immediately after a duck quacks! No duck should begin a new turn if another duck has not yet completed his turn.

VOCABULARY: Henceforth "adjacent" will mean orthogonally adjacent (i.e. one square to the north, south, east, or west) unless otherwise noted. Also, if a duck's instructions refer to "the ground," it means the ground of the square he is currently standing/sitting in. If you are told to draw something or place something in an adjacent square, it does not mean you should move to that square unless you are explicitly told to. A "row" extends from west to east, a "column" extends from north to south. A "gerund-grinder" is a pedantic English teacher.

The ritual begins as the sun rises...


INSTRUCTIONS FOR COROGES THE ONE DUCK

TRIGGER: A green object is located in a square adjacent to you.
INSTRUCTIONS: You feel a sudden surge of envy and miss your precious. Hurl the object in your left wing to the farthest square in your current column, and hurl the object in your right wing to the farthest square in your current row. Grab The One Piece of Bread (from a diagonally adjacent duck) in your left wing, and grab the other object that duck is holding in and place it one square north of your current square, just to show him who's boss. Move to a square as far away from the aforementioned breadbearer as possible so he won't get it back. Quack.

TRIGGER: You are holding a black marker.
INSTRUCTIONS: You feel the need to express yourself. If you are holding a marker in your left wing, use it to draw an R on the ground. If you are holding a marker in your right wing, use it to draw an H on the ground. Move three squares to the east, unless you would pass through a square containing another duck, in which case you should move two squares to the south. If you are holding a marker in your left wing, use it to draw an E on the ground. If you are holding a marker in your right wing, use it to draw an C on the ground. Shove the duck in the square to the west. Put the black marker on the ground. Quack.

TRIGGER: The sun has risen.
INSTRUCTIONS: Time to begin your patrol. Move as far south as possible without leaving the Field or entering a square containing another duck. Move as far east as possible without leaving the Field or entering a square containing another duck. If you are holding a marker in your left wing, use it to draw a D on the ground. If you are holding a marker in your right wing, use it to draw an A on the ground. Move as far north as possible without leaving the Field or entering a square containing another duck. Move as far west as possible without leaving the Field or entering a square containing another duck. If you are holding a marker in your left wing, use it to draw an E on the ground. If you are holding a marker in your right wing, use it to draw a C on the ground. Quack.

TRIGGER: Your current row contains a Breadwraith and no other ducks.
INSTRUCTIONS: You must attempt to smite the Breadwraith! Pick up the object on the ground and throw it two squares in the direction of the Breadwraith. If that's far enough to hit it, move one square east and draw a T on the ground; if not, move one square south and draw an I on the ground. Move three squares along the shortest path of orthogonal moves from your current square to The One Piece of Bread that does not pass through a square containing another duck. Quack.

TRIGGER: A Breadwraith is on the Field.
INSTRUCTIONS: You'd better seek camouflage. Move to the only square adjacent to two identical objects on opposite sides. To ensure safety, put The One Piece of Bread in the left wing of the only duck adjacent to your new square. In the spirit of equality, take whatever they had in their left wing, and hold it in the wing you were holding The Bread in. If you are holding a marker in your left wing, use it to draw a J on the ground. If you are holding a marker in your right wing, use it to draw an I on the ground. Quack.

TRIGGER: You heard thunder during the last turn.
INSTRUCTIONS: It must be a sign! Run for cover! In a panic, stealthily hide The One Piece of Bread on the ground in plain sight. Also in a panic, grab the object in the left wing of a duck in an adjacent square with your free wing. Move to the only empty square on the Field completely surrounded (even diagonally) by empty squares, where an empty square is a square containing no duck or physical object. Draw an M on the ground. Move one square directly towards the sharpest object on the field, so that you might defend yourself. If you are holding a marker in your left wing, use it to draw a K on the ground. If you are holding a marker in your right wing, use it to draw a U on the ground. Quack.

TRIGGER: Every square on the Field contains a letter, object, creature, or duck.
INSTRUCTIONS: The Ritual of the Word begins.


INSTRUCTIONS FOR DOGSLANTE THE LUCKY DUCK

TRIGGER: You are holding a marker in each wing.
INSTRUCTIONS: Create a cash vortex. Draw a C in the westernmost and easternmost squares in your current row with the marker in your right wing. Draw an S in the northernmost and southernmost squares in your current column with the marker in your left wing. Stand in the square north of the only non-duck creature on the field. You find three quarters! Keep two (in your pocket) and give the third to the duck one square to the west. Drop the marker in your left wing. Quack.

TRIGGER: There are nine heads on the Field (disembodied or otherwise.)
INSTRUCTIONS: Do the Lucky Number Dance. Nine is your lucky number! Screw this clover... you believe in numerology now. Put one leaf of your clover on every square on the Field with a number divisible by 9. Stand on the highest-numbered of these squares, where you find a nickel! Put it in your pocket. If you are holding a marker in your left wing, use it to draw an A on the ground. If you are holding a marker in your right wing, use it to draw an X on the ground. Move one square south. Quack.

TRIGGER: Another duck in your current column is holding The One Piece of Bread and a marker.
INSTRUCTIONS: Boy, you wish you had a marker. Hey, what's that on the ground... a brand new marker! And it's the same color as the object in your right wing; you put down that object and pick up the marker in your right wing. Use it to draw a D on the ground. Move to the square with the same number as a the number of cents you currently have (in your wings and pockets.) If you are holding a marker in your left wing, use it to draw an N on the ground. If you are holding a marker in your right wing, use it to draw an I on the ground. Put the coin in your wing in the square adjacent to the south edge of your current square. Quack.

TRIGGER: An inanimate object materializes two squares away from you.
INSTRUCTIONS: You might as well go check it out. Move to the square containing the aforementioned object. You find a coin in its ear! A US coin smaller in diameter than the one you are holding in your wing. Put the coin you were already holding in your pocket, and put the new one in the wing you were holding the first coin in. If you are holding a marker in your left wing, use it to draw an E on the ground. If you are holding a marker in your right wing, use it to draw an R on the ground. Quack.

TRIGGER: No duck stands between you and a vicious wereturtle.
INSTRUCTIONS: Have no fear! Move one square toward the wereturtle and draw a Z on the ground if you are holding a marker in your left wing. You are about to continue when something in the adjacent square to the north catches your eye. You move one square north and pick that object up with your left wing. In the same square you find a half-dollar, but thinking you should share the wealth, you put it in the free wing of the duck one square to the east. Draw a Q on the ground if you are holding a marker in your right wing. Quack.

TRIGGER: There is another duck in your current row and another duck in your current column.
INSTRUCTIONS: What a coincidence! This must be lucky! Draw an I on the ground. Move one square in the orthogonal direction which is not towards one of the aforementioned two ducks or a terrifying monster. If you are holding a marker in your left wing, use it to draw a Z on the ground. If you are holding a marker in your right wing, use it to draw a U on the ground. Continuing to face the direction you just moved in, move one square towards the wing in which you are holding a clover. You find a penny! Drop your non-clover item, and pick the penny up in your free wing. If you are holding a marker in your left wing, use it to draw a J on the ground. If you are holding a marker in your right wing, use it to draw an E on the ground. Quack.

TRIGGER: You have accumulated over one dollar in coins.
INSTRUCTIONS: The Ritual of the Word begins.


INSTRUCTIONS FOR LANDOD THE LAME DUCK

TRIGGER: Both of your crutches are gone.
INSTRUCTIONS: Time to crawl about blindly. Crippled, you crawl west one square, then north one square, then west, then north, and so on until you find something soft to hug. On your way you will pass through squares containing two non-sharp objects. Pick up the first one you find in your left wing and the second in your right wing. Briefly take a break from hugging. If you are holding a marker in your left wing, use it to draw a F on the ground. If you are holding a marker in your right wing, use it to draw an O on the ground. Go back to hugging. Quack.

TRIGGER: Something scary appears in an adjacent square.
INSTRUCTIONS: Run like hell! Go as far as you can in the opposite direction of the scary thing. Then move to the only other unoccupied square in your new row which does not contain a letter. Assume the fetal position. Quack.

TRIGGER: Another duck says your name out loud.
INSTRUCTIONS: Buy that duck off before he causes you pain. Pick up the northernmost coin on the Field and put it in your pocket. In payment, give the object in your right wing to the duck in an adjacent square. If you are holding a marker in your left wing, use it to draw an A on the ground. If you are holding a marker in your right wing, use it to draw an S on the ground. Place the coin in the free wing of the duck that said your name. Then go to the square with a number matching the value of that coin in cents. If you are holding a marker in your left wing, use it to draw an S on the ground. If you are holding a marker in your right wing, use it to draw an A on the ground. Quack.

TRIGGER: One of your crutches is gone.
INSTRUCTIONS: Like always, you throw a tantrum. Grab all objects in adjacent squares with your free wing. There are two objects three squares away from you in a straight line (in two different directions, orthogonally or diagonally.) Kick the one you can kick without making your foot bleed three squares west of its current location. Then go to the square containing the other object and think about kicking it, but just mope for a while. Quack.

TRIGGER: You have been thrown from one square to another.
INSTRUCTIONS: First of all, say "Owww!" really loudly. Pick up the least technologically advanced object in this square with your left wing. Try to pick up the other object in your right wing but clumsily drop and break it. Move one square east and then one square south. If you are holding a marker in your left wing, use it to draw an I on the ground. If you are holding a marker in your right wing, use it to draw an H on the ground. Quack.

TRIGGER: Your crutches are both contained in a column that contains no ducks (not even you) or other objects.
INSTRUCTIONS: Recover them. Move to the nearest crutch via the shortest path of orthogonal movements that does not pass through a square containing another duck. Continue until you are adjacent to some non-duck creature, which punches you very slowly. You fall down and draw an O on the ground. Then, disoriented, you move one square in the direction OPPOSITE the direction you would have moved next if you hadn't been punched. Draw a W on the ground. Quack.

TRIGGER: All four ducks are in squares adjacent to your current square.
INSTRUCTIONS: The Ritual of the Word begins.


INSTRUCTIONS FOR AMCIAG THE DEAD DUCK

TRIGGER: Someone draws a red letter in a square adjacent to your current square.
INSTRUCTIONS: Summon the Firebeast! Move north two squares. Place your shrunken head in the square adjacent to the east edge of your current square. Transfer your marker to the opposite wing, and draw a D in the square adjacent to the north edge of your current square. A Firebeast appears in the square adjacent to the west edge of your current square. Move to the square with a number which is the number of your current square upside down. Quack.

TRIGGER: Two non-duck creatures are on the Field.
INSTRUCTIONS: Might as well make it three. You wave your hand and summon a wereturtle, which appears three squares south of the square containing the only shrunken head not diagonally adjacent to another shrunken head. Move one square south. If you are holding a marker in your left wing, use it to draw an O on the ground. If you are holding a marker in your right wing, use it to draw an N on the ground. If you are holding a food item, place it in the square adjacent to the west edge of your current square. Wereturtles get hungry. Quack.

TRIGGER: Three creatures you summoned are on the Field.
INSTRUCTIONS: If you are holding a marker in your left wing, use it to draw an S on the ground. If you are holding a marker in your right wing, use it to draw an I on the ground. Move three squares north. Give the object in an adjacent square to the non-duck creature in an adjacent square. That creature starts to glow, and it turns the westernmost duck into a Zyzzlgoose. Move to the square from which you just took an item. If you are holding a marker in your left wing, use it to draw a K on the ground. If you are holding a marker in your right wing, use it to draw a T on the ground. Quack.

TRIGGER: Someone gave you money during the last turn.
INSTRUCTIONS: How dare they try to bribe you! You prepare to turn the briber into a newt, and move one square in the direction away from the briber... but you trip over an object in that square, and fall into the square immediately northeast of that object. Angrily, you instead turn the duck who was holding that object at the beginning of the ritual into a newt. If you are holding a marker in your left wing, use it to draw a K on the ground. If you are holding a marker in your right wing, use it to draw a T on the ground. You are currently adjacent to a square containing an object; there is one unoccupied square adjacent to two of that object. Move to that square. Quack.

TRIGGER: Something you have summoned is not adjacent to any duck.
INSTRUCTIONS: Well then, make something more charismatic. The aforementioned summoned creature winks out of existence. Transfer the object you are currently holding to the other wing. Move to the nearest square containing an object on the ground, and pick that object up in your free wing. There is a loud clap of thunder as a giant teddy bear appears on the square in which you were standing at the beginning of this turn. If you are holding a marker in your left wing, use it to draw a V on the ground. If you are holding a marker in your right wing, use it to draw an N on the ground. Quack.

TRIGGER: Someone is engaging in intimate behavior with one of your creations.
INSTRUCTIONS: Smite the infidel! Move vertically (i.e. within your current column) into the same row as the creation and wave your hands. The creation throws the intimate duck, who drops everything in his wings on the ground and then flies one square to the south. The duck in that new square also drops everything in his wings on the ground and then flies one square to the south. Giggle maniacally as the creation vanishes. If you are holding a marker in your left wing, use it to draw an M on the ground. If you are holding a marker in your right wing, use it to draw an O on the ground. Quack.

TRIGGER: All five ducks are standing in a diagonal line, but not the line in which they began the ritual.
INSTRUCTIONS: The Ritual of the Word begins.


INSTRUCTIONS FOR TOFNEN THE GIZMO DUCK

TRIGGER: There are two ducks in your current column, one to the north and one to the south.
INSTRUCTIONS: You are inspired to do some research. Begin walking to the west; stop when there is something with eyes in the square adjacent to the north edge of your current square. Use the object in your right hand on that thing. If you are holding a marker in your left wing, use it to draw a G on the ground. If you are holding a marker in your right wing, use it to draw an H on the ground. Begin walking to the west (again); stop when there is something with eyes in the square adjacent to the north edge of your current square (again). Draw that thing on a piece of paper and then put the drawing in your pocket. If you are holding a marker in your left wing, use it to draw an O on the ground. If you are holding a marker in your right wing, use it to draw a U on the ground. Quack.

TRIGGER: There are four cloverleaves all in different squares.
INSTRUCTIONS: You devise a combination ray. Pick up the object on the ground in your free wing, and convert it into a ray gun. When this ray is used on something, it combines that thing with whatever is in the adjacent square to the west of that thing (the combined item ends up in the square the gun was aimed at.) Move one square east. If you are holding a marker in your left wing, use it to draw a Y on the ground. If you are holding a marker in your right wing, use it to draw an R on the ground. Move one square south and fire the ray gun at the only object in your current row. Quack.

TRIGGER: One of your inventions has been broken.
INSTRUCTIONS: Create an invention repair kit. Pick up the marker on the ground in your right wing Move to the square where your invention was broken and draw an L on the ground. Attempting to build a repair kit, you accidentally build an interdimensional gate, out of which emerges a Breadwraith, who stands in your current square. Your broken invention is sucked into the gate, and the gate vanishes. You wisely move as far away (staying in the current row) as possible. If you are holding a marker in your left wing, use it to draw a T on the ground. If you are holding a marker in your right wing, use it to draw an N on the ground. Quack.

TRIGGER: You are the only duck in the center column.
INSTRUCTIONS: What an opportunity to test your speed shoes! Run to the square at the opposite end of the column in 0.004 seconds and draw a P on the ground. You can do better than that... run back to the square from which you came in 0.002 seconds. Walk one square toward a nearby object that could fund future inventions. If you are holding a marker in your left wing, use it to draw an H on the ground. If you are holding a marker in your right wing, use it to draw a K on the ground. Quack.

TRIGGER: Someone drops a coin in a corner square.
INSTRUCTIONS: You should create a money grabber. You create one, but its range is too short. Move to the square exactly halfway between your current square and the coin. If you are holding a marker in your left wing, use it to draw an A on the ground. If you are holding a marker in your right wing, use it to draw an E on the ground. You fire the money grabber, but it turns out to have the same effect as your first invention. And instead of hitting the coin, you hit something two squares north of the coin. Oops. Move one square south and draw a Z on the ground. Quack.

TRIGGER: One duck is in a square with a number twice the number of a square containing another duck.
INSTRUCTIONS: You are inspired to invent a clone ray. First of all, if A=1, B=2, C=19, D=567, etc., draw a letter on the ground whose value is double the value of the letter in the square immediately to the west of your current square. Remove the blade of your knife and drop it on the ground. Convert your bladeless knife into a clone ray. When this ray is used on something it creates an identical copy of that thing, which appears in the square immediately to the north of the target. Fire the clone ray at the object to the north. Move in a straight line towards the just-cloned object, and get as close as you can without entering the square containing that object. If you are holding a marker in your left wing, use it to draw a C on the ground. If you are holding a marker in your right wing, use it to draw a B on the ground. Quack.

TRIGGER: One of your inventions has been used on you.
INSTRUCTIONS: The Ritual of the Word begins.


THE RITUAL OF THE WORD

All five ducks feel an almost indescribable force which freezes them in their tracks as Nathde the Konundrum Duck appears. Slowly and dramatically, Nathde pronounces the following letters in order:

1. The only green letter which is in a square immediately south of a square containing a non-duck creature

2. The blue letter in the only square which contains a blue letter, a green letter, and nothing else

3. The red letter N squares north of the square containing the clover, where N is the number of leaves left on the clover

4. The black letter in the square diametrically opposite Coroges's current location (reflecting over the center of the Field)

5. The only letter which is in a square immediately east of a square containing an amphibian

6. The only black letter which is in a square adjacent to two different ducks

7. The red letter in the square containing a creature one square away from the object it seeks

8. The only blue letter which is in a square containing a crutch

9. The only red letter which is adjacent to two different squares containing markers

10. The only letter which is in a square adjacent to two different squares containing shrunken heads

11. The green letter in the only square which contains three letters

12. The only black letter which is in a square containing a duck holding a green marker

And thus, the ritual is complete.