1-1=2 Solution

By Ann Jones

 

Each limerick can be solved for a pair of words that are a single letter deletion.

The number above each limerick is the number of characters in the longer string.

Order limericks by deleted letter. Read down the first letter of each limerick.

Follow instructions.

CAESARSHIFTLHENMBHGBLAUHFU

 

This string yields only one coherent answer phrase.

It gives 'Solution is hbomb' (caesar shift by 7)

 

(6)

c(a)ries C Children should brush every night

To avoid the most terrible plight.

A mouth full of ONE

"Will hurt, ere it's done."

Your TWO won't be sounds of delight!

 

(9)

cele(b)rity A "Any bozo can shine for a minute of fame,"

"Or fifteen, if he quickly exploits his own name."

"But to be a true ONE,"

"When it's over and done,"

Means you don't fall with TWO from the top of your game.

 

(8)

pre(c)lude E Even a gallant romance doesn't ONE

That he's just out for sexual fun.

A kiss is a TWO

"To what else he might do,"

"So be careful when dating him, hon."

 

(5)

mi(d)st S "She stands in the ONE of the TWO,"

"Awaiting her lover, so true."

The fog holds him back;

He's soon lost the track.

"She waits, growing ever more blue."

 

(8)

Pyren(e)es A Along the ONE hiked a man and a dame

To the Gulf of Lion they finally came

So many ships there

Burning coal in the air

That the odor of TWO made them lame.

 

(7)

per(f)use R "Rushing throughout, the drug ONEd my soul"

"Spread all inside me, until I was whole"

Then I TWOd the label

At first glance twas babel

Then I learned it was naught more than Skoal

 

(8)

brid(g)e S She stood on the ONE o'er the river

Her heart and her soul were aquiver

A TWO she would be

When church bells struck three

The thought up her spine sent a shiver

 

(4)

c(h)at H How does a guy find a pet?

He starts up a ONE on the net

"For ""pussy"" he asks"

(As he multitasks)

"And, lo, it's a TWO that he'll get!"

 

(5)

lam(i)a I "In the dark of the night the ONE struck,"

But her evil would not bring her luck.

For the TWO that she bit

Was more spiritually fit.

"He said ""Om"" and then she could not suck."

 

(6)

in(j)ure F For a video game to be cool

It seems mayhem is often the rule.

"But to ONE, maim and kill"

"Doesn't take any skill,"

And it TWOs you to violence in school.

 

(6)

mon(k)ey T "The man and his ONE simply want to be free,"

"Swinging and clambering, from tree to tree."

But what can they do?

They have to have TWO;

To get in the jungle they must pay a fee.

 

(6)

alle(l)e L Lou and Leigh spoke of kids as they strolled

Down the TWO line with trees great and old.

"Fam'ly dreams aren't exotic,"

But their failures zygotic

(Deficient ONEs) would leave all their hopes cold.

 

(8)

there(m)in H Hearing the Beach Boys is always a joy.

"'Good Vibrations' I've worshipped since I was a boy."

And TWO is the source

"Of my rev'rence, of course:"

That band made the ONE sound like more than a toy.

 

(6)

a(n)gora E "Ecuador, Turkey, and Greece are the best"

For shopping and buying without any rest.

In one TWO I bought

The ONE that I sought

To knit a fine sweater to wear on my chest.

 

(7)

cor(o)net N Nine kings wore the ONE on their brow.

"Six queens, too -- the pope had a cow."

Each time that it's passed

There sounds a TWO blast

And all the court must kneel with a bow.

 

(6)

(p)ledge M "My darling, from that TWO please back up.

Please see reason, doll, come down and sup!

I do ONE to you

I'll always be true

Now get down here and fill up my cup.

 

(6)

(Q)uinta B Bear River flows with a roar and a crash

"From the TWO Mountains, making its way with a splash.

If you visit there,

I tell you, beware."

The La ONE in Midvale accepts only cash.

 

(7)

chanc(r)e H "Hey, if you're wary, examine my lap."

Said the naked and randy young chap.

"What's the TWO, now, that I,"

Just a regular guy,"

Have a ONE that reveals I've the clap?"

 

(7)

ver(s)ify G Good solvers will soon want to TWO

An answer by calling HQ.

"But first, please decode"

By reading this load

Of prose we did ONE just for you.

 

(6)

bow(t)ie B "Blast that Paul Simon, a ONE on for fun,"

A down-homish look that most snazzy folks shun.

He would have been scary

(Instead of so merry)

If he'd carried a TWO knife or gun.

 

(6)

d(u)ress L "Laugh all you want, he's a beauty:"

"Chris Morse in a TWO, what a cutie!"

"He's not under ONE,"

He's just having fun.

(His Dorothy was better than Judy.)

 

(5)

le(v)er A "A lecherous man makes a play,"

A TWO on his face -- hear him say:

"Hey, sweet honey bun,

Please pull on my ONE!

Hit the jackpot and you'll make my day!"

 

(7)

s(w)immer U "Use lotion when out having fun,"

Or you'll burn from too long in the sun.

"You'll TWO in the heat,"

"From your head to your feet,"

Be you surfer or sailor or ONE.

 

(6)

se(x)ism H "He says that he loves me, he thinks we can groove."

"""No other broad makes me so feel the earth move."""

"I say, ""That's no TWO --"

"It was all about you."""

It's his ONE that I don't think will ever improve.

 

(6)

g(y)rate F Franny can ONE like the best of the bunch.

She twirls and she purrs as the men eat their lunch.

"But the music they play,"

By the end of the day

"Will TWO on your ears, like the too-sweet "fruit punch"."

 

(7)

c(z)arina U "Using oars, Catherine rowed down the Dneiper."

The villagers came out to greet her.

Their love was so true

The ONE got a tattoo

"A keel-shaped TWO, right by her peeper."