Message From Axayacatl

Jenn Miller, Erin Rhode


Flavor text: Because it is a treasure puzzle, I just sort of added in the bit with the dwarves and the pulque and the gold. The important part is that Axayacatl says he is giving military instructions, and each is paired with a "key."

So the gist is that each of the missives describe a famous battle in history (see below). I intentionally made them as non-googleable as I could by leaving out a lot of details. I think that people who like history should be able to figure them out.

Solve for the battles, and solve for the keys. Then put the battles in chronological order. The order of the keys then becomes:

If you read these words outload in order, you should hear yourself saying "USS Frigate Hull Number FFG 42." This clues for the KLAKRING.
I pulled most of the descriptions of these battles from history books in the humanities library. I also relied heavily on the book "A Dictionary of Battles," by David Eggenberger, 1967. The clue phrases are relatively straightforward.

Dolly's mom (EWE)

Take your new army southward. Using your longer spears and javelins, you should be able to defeat all their armies and complete your conquest. If the battle becomes desperate, have your son lead a calvary charge to break that even-numbered band of devoted warriors.

Chaeronea, Macedonian conquests, September 1, 338BC


To value for taxation (ASSESS)

Revenge your father's death by attacking your enemy from above. They will flee from Kyoto and hide in the pass outside Ichi-no-Tani. Wait for them on the cliff above the narrow gorge. Trust the footing of your horses, they can take you down the sandy slope to defeat your enemy at the bottom.

Gempei Wars, 1180-1185


Very kinky girl is a super one (FREAK)

The enemy may be reckless enough to cross the bridge over the River Forth. Wait until about 5,000 of their men cross over and the bridge is sufficiently crowded before you wipe out the bridgehead.

Stirling Bridge, English Scottish Wars, September 1297


Sunken Bikini island (ATOLL)

Take a fleet of 200 to the inlet near the Dutch-Belgian border and attack the moored French ships in the morning. Kill their admirals, or at least capture them for ransom. Your ships' longbowmen should prove particularly useful.

Battle of Sluys, Hundred Years War, June 24, 1340


Roger Water's comfortable sensation (NUMB)

Take my Enterprise, sail into the harbor, destroy all the ships, and impeach their provisions. Try not to let them get into the channel.

Defeat of the Spanish Armada, 1586-1588


Alabama legend Bryant (BEAR)

If you really want to stir things up with those crazy Brits, capture and cut off the ear of one of their prized sailors. Don't kill him! Just let him take the ear back to their House of Commons for show and tell.

War of Jenkins' Ear, 1731


Short gridiron zebra (REF)

Tell the rebels to throw down their arms and disperse. Beware, they might fight in the fashion of Indians and hide behind boulders and trees. Be sure to have plenty of musket balls, as your bayonets will probably be useless.

Battle of Lexington & Concord April 19, 1775


Burning Pope or Fawkes (EFFIGY)

I imagine that impetuous short little man will try to retreat to the North. Go ahead of his frozen, miserable forces, and hold the bridge over the river. To be safe, burn the other bridges. He may sneak by you and escape out of the country, but he will probably abandon thousands of stragglers in the process.

Berezina River, Napoleonic Empire War, November 26, 1812


Palmer's warning (FORE)

Take 6,000 troops and meet the enemy at their little mission. Beware their sharp-shooters, because some of those guys act like they're real heroes. You'll probably have to storm their defenses - just be sure to leave the women and children alive.

Alamo, March 6, 1836


Read these leaves in the parlor (TEA)

Don't retreat to the south side of the river. I know that you're down to only twenty thousand troops, but we just took Harper's Ferry, and we'll meet you by the creek with an additional eleven thousand men. Wait there for the attack, which will probably come in waves. Hold them off until reinforcements arrive, and you'll be able to check the enemies's advance.

Antietam Creek, American Civil War, September 16, 1862


Kieran or Nikhila (TOON)

Head toward the river valley with your tanks. Look out for the Aussies, the New Zealanders, and the Brits. Their ground troops and planes will try to force you back. Stay out of the open desert if you can.

El Alamein II, WWII, October 24, 1942